For five years, I was a meat-cutter at a full-service counter. We sold various cuts of Lamb, Beef, Pork, Turkey, Chicken and an assortment of seafood that changed daily.
Basically, it’s all just cat.
Apparently doctors/med students sometimes put a tube in their arm and tape it up before they go out. Then when they get back they link it to a bag of saline and hey presto, totally rehydrated by morning and no hangover.
Why wouldn’t they just put the tube in when they get back?
[WAG] Coz they were drunk as skunks? [/WAG]
My first job was as a runner (delivery boy) in lower Manhattan. I would run breakfast, coffee, etc. to about three dozen offices, touching along the way various filthy items (handrails, money, elevator buttons, etc.) and then, when the breakfast hour ended around 10:30, my first job back in the kitchen was stuffing—by hand!–little white cups full of cole slaw, which came in a large vat. The first day on the job, the kitchen help laughed hysterically when I asked where I might wash my hands first. “The kid wants to WASH HIS HANDS, Pedro! Wash his freaking hands!!” from then on, I neither asked nor washed.
Needless to say, I never eat the coleslaw that comes in those little cups.
Sorry, none of their business.
Heh. Whenever I am asked for a phone number or zip from a clerk I give them either my SIL’s phone number ( sometimes her cell, when I remember it.) or a zip for some far away place to screw up their demographic.
What fun.
That’s easy. 12345 would have millions of dollars in sales because it’s the zip code of the General Electric Company in Schenectady. 
I don’t work there anymore, but I used to work for the local telephone company in the bill payment processing devision. This applies to all big business payment processing, so it doesn’t matter if you know my company or not. If you mail in a bill payment in a supplied envelope, chances are it is processed this way.
Most people assume some poor soul is opening and processing your payment by hand. WRONG. 80% of payments are never touched or viewed by a human. It is all done by machines. If you want your payment to be processed as soon as possible:
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Do not include anything other that the payment stub and one check and use the envelope provided (do not fold or tape either). The first machine detects envelope size, thickness, and presence of metal. Your payment will be kicked out to semi-automatic or full manual processing if this first machine rejects your payment.
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Use dark ink and write legibly in the amount BOX of your check (The rest doesn’t really matter). There is a second machine that reads the payment stub and your check amount in that box. Silver metallic ink is not visible to this machine. Hot pink ink is not visible either. Someone will have to pull your check out of the filing to look at it. Delays your payment at least 24 hours.
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Write your account number on your check - always - but especially if you have a common last name. If your payment gets stuck in the machine, it will have to be looked up manually and will take at least 3 days longer to process. They might even call you at home if you have a number on your check if they can’t find it.
4.ESPECIALLY do not include correspondence with your payment if you want anything done about it. Half of correspondence goes in the trash because the people are in a hurry and there is no proof it was ever there to begin with, especially if written on the payment stub or check. Read the info provided by the company and send anything like that to the proper address, or better yet, call. Most customer service is designed to be done over the phone.
BUT if you hate a company and are paying only in protest you can:
include lots of extra paper
Staple every inch of your payment stub and check together.
Tape coins to the payment stub
Not include the payment stub and write your account information on a different piece of paper.
(all of these things take a long time to fix)
Do not use tape, though, as the machines don’t usually detect it, so your payment gets ripped to shreds and they likely won’t be able to figure out who you are as a result.
It costs about 8 cents per payment to process by machine. It costs about 60 cents per payment to process manually. If you can rally other customers to protest with staples as I described above, the company will be forced to take notice very quickly as you increase their costs by 800%.
And if there were any justice in the world, 54321 would be the ZIP code of Cape Canaveral.
I have had a few interesting jobs that give some insight.
Large car companies credit phone reps have the power to let you off the hook for a car payment. It’s called an extension and it means you skip a payment and it’s added to the end of the loan. They charge customers a totally arbitrary and random amount of money for doing this. It can be 0 or $200 depending on what the rep feels like telling the customer based on how desperate they are.
Telephone bill collectors of any kind cannot call you if you just tell them to stop calling. Don’t dodge calls from these people, just tell them you don’t want them calling you. You may have to tell them in writing, but this is rare. Most will just accept verbal notice and cease all communications.
Bankruptcy isn’t as bad as everyone thinks it is. People can easily declare bankruptcy and buy a house a year or two later.
The reference desks at large local libraries are great sources of all kinds of information. You can call on the phone and ask nicely, they will spend a lot of time helping you with all kinds of research. For instance they can look up telephone numbers by address from their criss-cross directories.
Junk mail costs about $.55 cents a piece including postage and printing costs. If one quarter of one percent of it is responded to then it is a successful mailing.
The large parking lot in the middle of Logan Airport in Boston has a little buidling on it where the limo and livery drivers hang out between shifts. If you go there and ask nicely you can get a cheap “off the books” ride home from somebody that has a few hours to kill. Get on any livery driver’s good side in the Boston area by telling them that “MassPort Sucks”. They get 40% of the fare you are paying plus your tip. A good tip was $20 on a $55 ride.
If you are going to have direct mail pieces printed, go with a reputable printer. One place I used to work for had a dumpster in the back called the ‘post office’. Things got printed, postage was paid by the client already, samples saved, rest dumped in the ‘post office’.
When you are reading the media of any kind, it is often more important to pay attention to what is not being said in a news feature, or even as a whole.
If the phrase “sources say” turns up at all in a story, you should probably not give that “source” too much credit if at all.
A lot of times advertisers won’t get bad press from someone they buy ad space with. This goes for parent/daughter/sister companies too, one won’t put too bad of a spin on things if you know corporate’s CEO is going to be knocking on your door.
I’m a merchandiser for Hallmark (grocery and drug stores) and after every season change the cards are returned for credit and the envelopes are all thrown away. If you know this you never have to buy an envelope for the rest of your life, just grab one from the card department on your way out of the store. If you really really need a lot of envelopes for whatever reason, (obsessive sorting/listmaking, small business, you make your own cards, etc.) and you’d like a glut all at once, leave a note under the main “flipper.” (In the seasonal section of the department there will be a flipper containing a log book and assorted shelf hardware…tug on the bottom 1/4th of the display and the 3 or 4 rows of cards will tilt forward to reveal the underneath storage.) Leave a note along the lines of “hey Hallmark dude/chick, can I have your envelopes that you’re going to throw away?” with your phone # and there’s a good chance you’ll get a call to come pick them up within a few days of the holiday. And yes! You may leave this note on an envelope!!! 
After Xmas I threw away an entire shopping cart full of envelopes from one large store. Every shape, color and size. Sad, really. I’m guessing you might be able to deal directly with the manager at a Hallmark store as well. Worth a shot if it interests anyone!
Alright I will let you people on the inside - but just this once . . . and no one talks !
I am a DJ for a radio station.
When you call and request a song I will say “sure I will see if I can fit that in” or some such nonsense. Look - I have a music director as one of my bosses. His job is to schedule the music every hour all day so that : a song does not run close to itself that day, a song does not run close to where it ran yesterday or will run tommorrow, same with artists. My point is I have a music log that I cannot deviate from even a little. I may (if I’m lucky) have one or two request slots an hour where I can freely put a song in. Guess what ? The one or two songs that get requested the most will be plugged into those slots. Odds are it won’t be what you asked for. Sorry. Sure I could put that Billy Ray Cyrus in for you . . . but it could get me in deep trouble.
So : if you really want to hear your “Billy”, recruit a couple of friends and have one call every 10 or 15 minutes and ask for the song you want. (Yes I will know if its you trying to trick me by calling over and over again - I make my living by listening, I have exceptional ears.)
Here is a genuinely great tip for winning radio contests - act excited. Say I am giving away movie passes to “caller 12” - truthfully I count to about 9 and then I sit back and try to find a good caller. I want to play this back on the air remember - if you sound monotone or apathetic I am not going to pick you. If you sound giddy and ecstatic over winning the passes I will likely tell you that you are caller 12 when maybe you weren’t.
Also don’t set out to win 3 prizes a week. Limit yourself and you will help yourself. We do have what we call “prize pigs” and whenever possible we will not let them win.
Any questions ?
I used to work for a book store chain and I was always surprised by the elaborate stories came in with to try and exchange books. Since book stores return everything that doesn’t sell at no loss to themselves, they’ll pretty much take back anything that’s in sellable condition and still listed as a book in print. No need for any long story about how your Uncle’s wife’s best friend’s daughter gave you this book you already had. Just a smile and a “I’d like to exchange this book for store credit” is all you need.
Oh! I forgot! During the Christmas of 89 I worked in the parking lot of Busch Gardens in Florida. At the time (I don’t know if this is still the same) the parking attendants were not allowed to take any bills larger than a 20.00. Although parking was $4.00, if you flashed a 50 or 100, the attendant would wave you through, FREE.
Oh, and another thing re: bartending…
When you send a drink back to me because there’s something in it–a fly, a speck, a hair, a piece of cork–I don’t actually remake the drink. I fish it out with a straw if I have time…and with my fingers if I don’t.
So if you find something in your drink, fish it out yourself; that way at least it’s your fingers doing the dirty work.
The only way to get the drink really re-made is if you say it doesn’t taste right…but you’re still running a risk there, b/c once it’s remade, it will usually be weaker than the first one.
And if you order decaf, please be aware that chances are good it won’t be decaf. Whatever’s hot is what goes into the cup; since not as many people drink decaf, chances are not good that there’s a fresh pot of it anywhere…thus the regular is served. (I don’t do this myself, because I like to drink decaf from time to time, but lots of coworkers do.)
And if you get arrested while driving, do not EVER let the officer tow your car. He will offer; it will sound like a thoughtful suggestion, and most people take him up on it. DON’T DO IT. Unless your car is blocking traffic or could pose a “hazard” of some kind, there is no law against abandoning your car. It is your property, and he has no right to seize it unless it is considered evidence. (This is also an excellent reason, when you get pulled over, to pull onto private property, or onto the shoulder of whatever road you are on. Do not stop anywhere where you could be construed to cause a hazard, or block traffic. If you wave your hand to the officer to let him know you’ve seen him, he will usually respect your concern for safety and follow you til you find a safe place to stop.)
If the cop calls someone to tow your car, it will be impounded at the PD, at $75 a day, until you reclaim it…and you cannot reclaim it until your record is totally clean. So if you got arrested for warrants/no insurance/DWI/whatever, this could take weeks…and in just one week, you’ll owe $525 in “daily rates.”
The police do this because they know you won’t be able to afford to get the car out; they auction off all these cars for extra income for the PD.
So tell the officer “No thanks!” and get a friend to move it/have it towed/whatever. Be FIRM. He has no right to your car; he just wants to sell it out from under you.
If you get pulled over for a possible DUI/DWI, refuse to take any sobriety tests. This is protected by the Fifth Amendment; if they ask you to walk a line, or physically demonstrate your sobriety, and you just trip b/c you’re in high heels…it’s all on tape and you have no defense.
Tell them you refuse to take any sobriety tests on grounds that you do not want to incriminate yourself. They will arrest you, but on a busy weekend night, chances are good that by the time they get around to administering a BAC test, you will have dropped below the legal limit. (And if they have a Breathalizer with them, you can ask to have another person present. This will probably piss off the cop, but there’s nothing he can do about it…and if you want to avoid a DWI/DUI, every minute you can postpone a test counts.)
For the record, I am not a cop, but I get them drunk on their days off.
I work in the food service industry. Here are a few helpfull hints:
#1 NEVER go to chains like Applebees,Ground Round, Chillis, Ruby Teusday , ect… All of their “food” is preportioned,prebagged and in some cases precooked. You could get better food by buying a few T.V. dinners.
#2 Dont be an ass If you are a shit to your server you will get bad service. If something is wrong be polite!! An unhapy server makes for unhappy cooks. Unhappy cooks make you have an unhappy tummy. Yes, the kitchen will poison you. We usualy have some kind of week old meat juice floating around filled with enough bacteria to have it classified as a biological weapon. If you go out with friends and only one of you gets sick , chances are that one was being an ass and got dealt with.
#3 Dont be cheap Servers remember cheap tippers. Cheap people usualy get the new servers who are still learning the ropes and dont know how cheap they are.Tipping 20% wont break the bank, and if it does chances are you shouldt be eating out anyway.
#4Ask for everything at once If you ask for ketchup and then ask for an ash tray and then ask for mayo and then new silverware chances are your server will stop comeing to the table. People need to get organized when they ask for extras. You know your gonna want mayo, and ketchup and a refill. So to save yourself from food poisoning and bad service order it all at once!!! No one likes to run back and forth to the same table over and over like some kind of 'tard.
#5 Keep your rotten kids in check!! Your kids are not as cute as you think they are. A restaurant is not a playground!! If your precious little monster is tearing through the place and knocks over a tray of food you will be thanked for your generosity , because you will be buying ALL of it. Also I have seen servers dump trays of food and drinks on little kids who bump into them on purpose because they know that the parents will be charged for it.
#6 Avoid eating in old places Restaurants that are 20 years old usualy have kitchens that are 20 years old. In 20 years everything in the place has a thick and hard coating of kitchen grease. A dirty kitchen makes for dirty food.
#7Check the bathrooms If the bathrooms are filthy chances are the rest of the place is filthy!! Most resaurants have “cleaners” who are in charge of washing dishes,floors,windows,the kitchen,the dineing and bathrooms. If the cleaners are doing a half assed job in the bathroom just imagine what is going on in the places you cant see.
A response to something Debaser said:
By and large, this is probably true, but please don’t pitch a fit if you find out that your local library is an exception. A library I worked at several years ago had a policy against doing criss-cross work over the phone. They would be glad to help you if you came in, but they did not do it as telephone reference.
I have a surprising secret that I’m constantly amazed how many people don’t know about all industries. Be really nice, polite, friendly and maybe even joke around a bit with whomever your dealing. Be a little more interested in relating with them & how they’re doing and treat the business transaction as a little more incidental.
You would be truly amazed how much leeway people have. And they’re bored. And they’re sick of dealing with pricks.
Free stuff. Extra stuff. Deep discounts. Upgrades. Completely booked hotels & flights suddenly open up. Late fees disappear. Paperwork gets put at the top of the pile.
A recent example: I was speaking with a bored customer service guy. I started joking around with him, made him laugh. He jokingly asked if I were practicing my stand up routine. The phone call & my attitude didn’t cost me a thing. Later I found out my account was mysteriously credited with 3 months of service, worth about $150. Cool, n’est pas?
And don’t get me started with ticket agents & flight attendants. I’m nice to the agent at check in. she smiles pleasantly & hands me back my tickets. I board the plane and discover I’ve been upgraded to 1st class. I’m extra nice to the attendants. Suddenly I’ve got all the free little cocktail bottles I can carry, extra food, etc.