Share The Letter You Need To Send To Yourself

Dear Incref,

Please stop trying to tell people what they will and will not be able to deal with.
If someone tells you they love you then take it at face value, you really aren’t that bad and can be quite enjoyable at times.

Believe that things will work out. Esteem, money and owning your own place again are not paramount at this point… you have 10 years for these to be achieved.

Have fun that doesn’t involve being completely fucked up, your liver and memories of the night before will thank you.

Finally, don’t beat yourself up all the time over past mistakes and paths chosen. All you have is here and now.

Much love,

Incref

Dear Incref,

Damn straight. Especially the part about the here and now.

-tdn

Dear tdn,

Wake up! Slap yourself in the chest right now and say “I’m awake!”, then just breathe into life. It really is just that simple.

Love,
-tdn

Dear lindsaybluth,

Why ya gotta be mildly sad all the time? Or unhappy? If you empirically take stock of your life, you grin and thank Og for your good fortune. You’re smart, pretty, and get to go to happy hour each week. You have a real job - something few of your friends have. You have a Life Plan and an SO who you’re gonna marry. Try to be happy in your day-to-day dealings, rather than somewhat bitchy and ungrateful.

Remind your mom you love her, often. It took you till you were 16 to realize your dad feels “being a father” means “bringing in a paycheck” and not a damn thing else.

Signed,

lindsaybluth

Dear Oak,

Ya know that thing that you said would never ever happen to you? It just might be happening now. Go with it. Let this happen. I think maybe it could really make a difference for you. A good difference.

Don’t screw it up, dumbass.
Oak

Zsofia,

Good lord! Why can’t you stop spending all that money?! Is it so hard to just not spend it? Grow a brain! Do you want to eat cat food when you get old?

Also, sit up straight. You look awful when you slouch.

Hugs n’ kisses,
Zsofia

Go slow, dude.

Dear Splines:

Stop thinking and just nail her when you get the chance.

Also, cut up your credit cards and stop spending so damn much. You are NOT going to sell your old stuff to make up part of the cost and you’re not going to “start saving money from now on” because you’re too fucking lazy.

Change your major to engineering. Buy Apple stock.

And finally, remember that all the shit you don’t do can fuck up your life as much as the shit you do do.

Ha, I said doodoo.

Love,
Splines

Ha, I’m the exact opposite about money.

Dear Mean Chickie,

It’s okay to spend money on things that you don’t absolutely need. I bought some cool stuff other the weekend that I wanted, but did not need at all, and I didn’t die. I didn’t go straight to the poor house, I didn’t miss a rent payment, or go hungry, or wipe out my savings entirely, or even have to skip a meal. Nothing happened except I got some stuff that I wanted.

Also, take a note from ZSofia, and sit up straight. Your posture is terrible.

Cheers,
Me

Dear Bloom,

For the love of pete STOP beating yourself up over things you can’t control! Stop wallowing in worry, pity, self-loathing and enjoy your health and family. They DO love you. You can be such a loving, funny, kind person but why you choose to entertain this deep, dark, pithy side is a mystery to me. Accept the moment. Aknowledge the pain inside. Feel it. Have compassion for it, then move beyond it.

Toodles,
Bloom

Dear Wally,

WTF aren’t there more (any) gargoyles around campus? WTF is up with that? You’d think these architects could appreciate how awesome gargoyles are, but I guess they skipped that lesson in architecture school.

Also, fuck all these bricks. We need some cobblestone up in here. Also, your pants are totally gay, you gigantic retard. Fix that shit. But, your jacket is totally awesome.

All in all, I suppose right now I’d give you a grade of c+. Lifetime average of B. Keep up the good work, but still room for improvement.

I can has all your monies? I promise I’ll spend it! All of it! Money you don’t even have! Fake money!

Dear Zsofia and MeanOldLady:

When you slouch like that and stick your head out, you look like a chicken. Or a Skeksis.

Kisses!
Z

xanthous,

There is nothing food is going to give you besides calories.

xo,
xanthous

Not strictly true, but good one. I knew that before I bought the big chocolate chip cookie I just ate. I bought it anyway.

xanthous,

Let me clarify. Good, healthy food gives you nourishment, and nourishment can give you pleasure, but nothing about what you’re putting in your body right now is really anything but calories (and too many of them to boot). And the pleasure you get from food you’re choosing is nothing but a match-spark’s worth. You need to TOTALLY overhaul the way you think about food. You can love to cook and love to eat and still be healthy. Think about it. And make a plan.

xo,
xanthous

That’s better. :slight_smile:

Dear purplehorseshoe,

Start treating yourself as well as you treat your friends. If your friend makes a tiny little mistake, do you berate them about it for a week and a half? No. You wouldn’t dream of it, in fact. Then why in the name of fuck do you do it to yourself?

Also, you seriously need to learn to laugh at yourself. Repeat as needed: You mere mortal, you.

Your posture, however, is impeccable.
Cheers!
purplehorseshoe

P.S. Quit being such a bitch once a month. Yes, yes, everything that moves is annoying. Shut the fuck up about it already, and you wouldn’t have to do so much apologizing once a month as well.

P.P.S. Quit beating yourself up about being bitchy while PMSing. Most women do it, some far worse than you.

Dear Julie,

Just do it and stop whining.

Love,

Julie

Dear Asimovian,

You are not under obligation to be social during any and every free moment you have. Your girlfriend and friends are not going to scream bloody murder should you opt to take an afternoon to read, or do laundry, or watch TV, or do NOTHING. It’s OK, really. When is the last time someone asked you what you were doing with your weekend that didn’t involve a long list of activities with three or more different sets of people? Think about it.

Sincerely,
Asimovian

P.S. - Being overly social tends to cost money. You should try holding on to more of that green stuff than you do currently.

Dear Misnomer,

Stop being so damned self-conscious about your weight when you’re on stage. Yes, recent videos and pictures have brought home the stark reality of how fat you’ve gotten, but you can be comfortable with yourself while still wanting to change: you just have to realize that self-acceptance is not the same as believing that you’re perfect just the way you are. Really, it’s ok to like yourself even if you know that you’re a work in progress. It’s affecting the quality of your performances, so knock that shit off.

Oh, and stop being jealous of Oakminster.

v/r,
Misnomer

Dear Maastricht,

If you work, work. Don’t spoil it by goofing around.

When you are scheduled to goof around, do so. Don’t spoil it by working, or feeling guilty about work you should still do. Goof.

Also, now that you have lost weight, you have bought these cool, colorful, flattering, tight clothes, right? So actually *wear *them, you chicken ! You are too old to play dress up in your home and then go out in the same old boring drab outfits.

Sternly,

Maastricht.