This is a thread where you can point out, in careful and sneering detail, your own shortcomings.
Hey me! The short fat kid, yeah, the balding one! What the fuck do I think I’m doing?! Stop taking your aggrevation out on strangers and get back to your book! Oh, you don’t wanna write the book – too damn bad, its not going to write itself tubby.
Stop your crying, tis your own fault that you have to start over, you didn’t do enough pre-writing! If you had, you woulda realized you had redundant characters and a sub-plot with no resolution!
Swearing at me won’t make any difference. Maybe you’d be able to write if you got out once in awhile, and not for fast food! God, try swimming, you pig!
And work on your spelling for Christ’s sake!
You are such a pathetic goon. Starting a banal, awful, stupid, fucked, irritating, unlovely, unwelcome, unintelligent boorish idiotic thread such as this is even lower than I’d expect of someone of your malevolent, ignorant, ignoble, liberal, conservative leanings.
Jerk.
Godspammit, why are you so fucking sexy? How come you have such an enormous cock?!? Why must you be so much smarter than anyone else on Earth?!? Be mediocre, dammit!
Okay, all that having been said:
Squeegee, you need to:
- Stop FUCKING SMOKING. Now. Its killing you. Repeat after me – k-i-l-l-i-n-g. You utterly suck for not making the effort more and more effectively. You’ve got a wife, and a kid, and it’d be pretty damned unfair to them if you DIED*. Dammit, stop. Now.
- or, more to the point, got ill with a terminal disease that lingered, drained the bank account, and made Mrs Squeegee into your caretaker as you withered. Whatever – you suck. Stop smoking.
Other than that, you’re perfect. 
Uh…SPOOFE…This is the flame yourself thread, not the flame me thread.
Try again and get it right, damnit!
You are a woefully inadequate human being. What are you doing up at 2AM, pointlessly insulting yourself when you should be sleeping? You wear your contacts overnight! You don’t get enough Vitamin C! You dress funny! And, boy oh boy, do your flames ever suck!
Hey, guys – SDMB is so **fucking! #!@# **slow that you’re screwing up my thread intro. I try to post 3 quick messages, and it takes 20 fucking minutes and 2 people jump in ahead. GAH!
The point was:
-
Serious introspection. Flame yourself. For something real that you wish you weren’t suckful about.
-
With a little humor.
WRECKLESS
Fuckin’ pull myself together, man! Why are me constantly putting shit off until the 13th hour? Me’s not getting any younger, and neither are the people who me likes to think care for me. Sign up for the damn GRE so me can get on with doing what me was planning on doing before me got sidetracked. Get my bike insurance paperwork done. Lazy shit.
In another word…
OAF
Do something!
I mean, Christ, really.
kuroashi shut the fuck up. You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. I’m doin’ my damndest to avoid getting run over by the ball let alone get on it! Your little rant against me ain’t helping! Quit your whining and look at yourself for a change. Calling me a “Wreckless Oaf” does nothing more than cloud the issue.
:wally
Stop complaining about wanting to be more fit and thinner and JUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, you fat cow!
FUCK ME, I just banned myself from another board to get on with my life, so I came back to this one! Eat my ass, Internet! EAT IT!
hardy, you freaking moron.
If you would shut up and listen once in a while, you would recognize when you were getting lied to, you dizzy bitch! You can recognize fraud from a mile away at work, why the fuck can’t you do it in your personal life? Wake up and smell the lies, dimwit.
You’re an insecure idiot.
Widdershins, quit writing rambling posts about pointless, fluffy things and do something useful! You’re too chickenshit to go to GD and look up information to make an intelligent post! It’s because deep down you know how stupid you really are. You make me sick, and don’t tell me the feelings mutual, I already know!
Get your sad little excuse for a life together and amount to something! If you hate everything in your life so much, change it! Someone told you that he didn’t think you could bitch anymore than you already do, and you took it as a challenge! That is messed up!
I hate being you! If I can figure these things out, why can’t you? I’m ashamed to admit I know you, pathetic little guilty bastard!
I don’t need to do this. I have a live journal for it. And a long, boring commute. Self-abuse helps pass the time.
[sub]tapping my foot while I wait for someone to go for the opening I provided[/sub]
[Foghorn Leghorn]
I say boy, I mean I say you’re gonna go blind if you keep that up!
[/Foghorn Leghorn]
Wake up dumbass, your D.E.N.S.A. card won’t get you a discount at WalMart. And stop being so nice to people. Don’t you know that’s a sign of weakness?
Oh yeah… firm asses are soooo passe.
Hey, assface, what do I think I’m doing? I’ve got a fucking major assignment due in two weeks and I spent my weekend on the fucking internet? What the fuck am I gonna do when I flunk out? Burger King? Holy Christ Almighty, I’m a lazy shit.
And what am I doing now? 10 am on monday and still posting. Get off the damn internet, you overweight corpse-felching loser.
Oddly, I don’t feel any better about myself now