I would call my restaurant “The Hacks.” All of the food would like vomit of various consistencies, and would be served up in special toilet-shaped vessels. Think of all the wonderful soups and puddings you could make…
Mary Lou’s? That place is still there?
mmmmmmm. 
The Dumpling Haus sort of reminds me of my new favorite restaurant, Nothing But Noodles, which sells noodle dishes of many lands.
Well, now we need a place for the wives and girlfriends to go while the drooling men are enjoying your establishment
All the waiters would be young and buff and tan
and shirtless
and their pants would be oh so pleasantly snug
and each diner would have their own server.
and the food would be the kind you could eat without paying attention to it, because after all, we’d be distracted by the scenery
Ladies, care to help me develope this idea? 
Toilet shaped vessels? It’s been done:
I actually had an idea yesterday. The Children’s Museum of Minnesota is connected to a McDonald’s, a Subway, and an Asian fusion restaurant. My thought would be to open a restaurant that caters more to children which would include the ubiquitous dinosaur shaped chicken items, crazy straws, hamburger buns with faces drawn on the top of 'em, etc. The slogan would be “Where the good kids get to go”. So, on top of overprice gimmicky fast food, there’d be a guilt trip as well.
Frickin’ hard to come up with an original idea, isn’t it?
My wife had a similar idea. It would be a sandwich place called Buns .
When I was in the Army, my friend from Georgia thought a great idea would be a bar & grill on the Pennsylvania/Maryland border just north of Hagerstown, MD called Mason-Dixon. It would be situated exactly on the border and would have two entrances, one on the north, one on the south. The two halves would be decorated accordingly (confederate flags, NASCAR, country music etc for the south; New York skyline, rock music, etc for the north) and the food would also match (grits, collard greens, etc vs hoagies, bagels, etc). (This idea came to us on a drunken Saturday night and obviously we had not gotten too far into the decor/menu details) The two halves would be separated by a bullet-proof glass wall so you could see the other side but couldn’t get at them. Off the back there would be a “mixing” room where you could mingle with the other half. We figured that there would be a lot of “us vs them” fights on the weekends but then everyone could make up and get drunk.
It sounds Ok on paper but some ideas just don’t translate directly between the sexes. A more viable idea is a restaurant called “Heels”. It wouldn’t be just about shoes although that would be part of it. Elaborate and beautiful shoes would line the walls. Dresses would be placed on mannequins around the restaurant as conversation pieces. The waitresses wouldn’t just serve food. They would also pamper with things like hot face wraps after the meal and offer beauty and shopping tips for out-of-town visitors. Smells would waft through the place.
There would be much more. You can take it from there.
Once again, new ideas are really hard to find. Dolly Parton’s Dixie Stampede in Branson, MO is a horse show with dinner in the arena. A big part of the show is for the audience to spilt in Yankees and Conferderates and boo and taunt one another. They have contests between the sides and it gets pretty heated. Southern Missouri is also a slitting point between the two sides.
Hey, I used to work in a place called, “The Blue Plate”.
And it was a going little enterprise in it’s day, it got sold and the new owners ran it into the ground, unfortunately. They only served appetizers and mostly on blue plates.
Just thought you’d want to know.
When I lived in Kansas City, I saw a restaurant that seemed to be the only one of its type in the country.
An Italian all-you-can-eat buffet.
The food there, contrary to what you might think, was actualy quite fresh and pretty damn good. The “market style” setting was like a Tuscan version of The Cheesecake Factory - expansive, upscale, and nothing like what you might see at a Chinese or senior citizen’s buffet. The place was usually packed.
I’m surprised the concept hasn’t been tried elsewhere.
Someday someone will steal this idea.
A dessert place. With rich french pastries and sugery goodness.
I would name it “Chez Monieaux”.
Then, when people called, I could answer the phone “Shame on you!”
I’ll invest in that one!
A restaurant called, “One Potatoe, Two Potato.” I’d serve potatoes in any way you can think of – mashed, latkes, french fries, baked potatoes with a fixing bar full of great toppings in the corner.
I’ve been to about a half dozen Italian all-you-can-eat buffets that sound a lot like that in various cities here in Canada. And they’re always packed. I have wondered too why they aren’t a bit more common. I’d love to see Greek style as well.
There used to be a restaurant with that name in Harvard Square, but I think it recently folded, so the name may be up for grabs. I don’t really recall what they served, beyond potato skins. The emphasis was on appetizers and cheap booze served in measuring cups.
They use to have these in a lot of food courts around the country. I think there are still a few around.
mmm yes harbaugh’s on south Illinois if i remember correctly…nice place and good breakfast/luch food. I especially like the “anything goes” coffee cups (i collect ceramic coffe mugs)
Having been in the Biz for the better part of 25 yrs, working as anything from a Cook…chef…executive chef…fine dining waiter…manager…and GM, my choice would be a quaint place where all that is listed on the menu are the basics that are FRESH and ready to go: Meats (protiens, Starches (pastas, potatoes, rices etc), Fresh Vegies available along with the herbs/spices/sauces/conements we have available (ho-made of course) and various other acoutrements…tell us what you want…if we have it, we WILL make it…I would call it the “Kind Cafe’”
Five easy pieces…
kind regards,
TSFR
I want to open an Indian fast-food restaurant and name it “Hurry Currie”. The tag line in my advertising will go something like, “If you don’t like my Hurry Currie, I will commit Hari Kari”.
you’d get customers out of guilt!