Share your nasty neighbor stories.

In My Humble Opinion
41

I truly live in suburban heaven, apparently. I like all my neighbors. Heck, I’ve got neighbors with three kids (a his, mine and ours combo) who apologize profusely everytime one of the boys (they’re all boys) hits or kicks a ball into my backyard. This does not bother me at all. I’ve told them dozens of times they are more than welcome to come and retrieve their boys’ balls <snerk> from my yard anytime, but they don’t. When I see a ball in the yard, I just toss it over the fence. I just wish my biggest problem was a ball being hit, kicked, thrown, whatever into my yard.

The guy that lived there before them was a slob who mowed maybe twice a year, but even he didn’t bother me. He was a nice enough guy. He just didn’t like mowing.

My neighbors on the other side are the best neighbors ever. If I had been told I could have picked anybody I wanted as neighbors I wouldn’t have done anywhere near as great as them. He used to be the neighborhood yard nut. Yard was perfect all the time. Then he developed Alzheimer’s. At age 55. :frowning:

The folks right behind me are no problem at all. Never a peep out of 'em. The people next to them have a dachshund who squeaks (yep, he doesn’t bark, he squeaks) but I can’t hear it when I’m inside.

42

I used to live an an apartment complex that Trompy McStomp upstairs, and The Lord of All SubWoofers downstairs.

But that was then. Now I have my own house. There’s a VFW nearby that attracts some loud motorcycle traffic which is a little annoying. But I think my main complaint is one of the neighbors. It’s an older couple, no job to speak of. They have a dog, who barks at anything that moves. They were kind enough to warn me about the dog when I moved in.

(“She don’t like nobody 'cept us and my son.”)

She also apparently bites.

The other tidbit of info you need to know about these folks is that, despite doing almost no yardcare at all (they did trim some bushes on their property once, and then left all the branches to rot at the foot of the bushes…) they are very protective of said property.

For instance. I once ordered a pizza from the local Domino’s. The driver mistakenly stopped at their house first, was told it was the wrong house, and drove down to mine. We’re talking a distance of 20 feet. Whilst I was paying for the pizza, Grandpa Santa Biker (that’s what I think he looks like) wanders up my driveway (which they and their son often use to get to their door, as they don’t maintain the little walkpath on their property) and starts cussing the delivery guy out. Fiercely.

The delivery guy was baffled. I was taken aback, myself. Apparently, he was accusing the delivery guy of “peeling out” and damaging his yard. I’d heard no peeling out. There’s a distance of 20 feet to traverse, total. I consider this unlikely. But he was upset, nonetheless, that someone would mess up his yard.

Imagine my surprise, then, to come home one day, and through the gap between my house and garage, which gives me a view of my backyard, what should I see but their supposedly dangerous and antisocial dog taking a dump on my backyard? Perhaps you’re thinking they were simply unaware that the dog had gotten out without being attached to its usual chain. You’d be wrong, for no sooner than I had pulled in and opened my door, the dog’s name was called, and it dutifully trotted back to their yard.

Damn hypocrites.

43

Or it could be they do it because they think it’s funny. When I was a kid, I knew this inbred lowlife guy that married my friend’s mom…he used to masturbate his rabbits for fun in front of us and laugh about it. They also had goats and dogs. The dogs were kept in a small pen (about 10’ x 10’ from what I can remember, all chickenwire even over the top) in the back yard 24/7 (in southern Arizona). They had almost no human contact. One day one of the dogs got out and killed one of the baby goats. So he took both dogs into the desert and shot them. They also had a doberman pincer that they kept on a short chain in the front yard. No one could go near him, not even them. Oh, and the rabbits? They only had them for killing for their fur. They weren’t pets. They lived in a trailer park, btw, we’re not talking about people out in the country with a lot of land.

44

We had the condo neighbor who called child services on any family with kids she decided she didn’t like. There is no worse feeling than having DCF knock on your door- even when you know you haven’t done anything wrong! You never know what an over-zelous agent might decide to focus on! (Our case was dismissed completely…but it was scary!).

Worst thing was, the woman was a preschool teacher!