Poll in a moment. It’ll be public because I’m like that. Unless I change my mind at the last second. One never knows.
You used “sometimes” in the “proven wrong” portion, but “occasionally” in the “proven right” portion. I would have been happier if those choices had both been “sometimes” but I voted that way anyway.
Roddy
I never say “I told you so.” A few years ago I would have voted very differently.
Agreed with tdn. I love to be right. Being right is one of my favorite things. But I had an epiphany a while back, that the phrase “I told you so” has pretty much never in the history of mankind done the hearer a damned bit of good. So I might think it really loudly these days, but I don’t say it.
I selected always and never, but I was thinking of the informal work environment. In personal life, or to someone giving you money, it’s usually not a good idea to say I told you so. As for being wrong, that’s just part of life, I kind of expect to hear it. But there’s always the more nuanced aspects of how and when you say it, or it’s said to you.
I probably wouldn’t use the exact words “I told you so”, but I often have an equivalent amount of gloating and/or smugness.
My wife, on the other hand, will say “I told you!” even if we’ve never discussed the subject in question in the entire time we’ve known each other.
I voted occasionally and sometimes.
I only ever say it if is a lighthearted argument. I don’t mind if someone says it to me in lighthearted arguments or disagreements. Recent example concerning who a certain actress was and if she was playing a certain part. I totally did the whole, “Ha! I totally told you so!!!” thing. We both just laughed.
I don’t do it in serious arguments, but will point out that sometimes it’s good to take my word for something when I have expertise in the area.
Pretty much this. If it’s a piddling argument about something (like what the capital of some country is, or how you spell a word, or whether a lost item is in a specified location) and I feel like being a tease, I might say it. And it wouldn’t bother me if someone returned the favor.
If it’s a serious issue or a heated argument where people are getting upset (even if it’s over something minor), then absolutely not. Asshole move. If someone has just done something stupid and gotten in a mess, I listen to them vent and hold my tongue. Because rubbing their face in their stupidity accomplishes nothing except making them feel even worse. I don’t want that done to me when I mess up, so I’m not going to do it to someone else.
I am very calm, and even-tempered, but nothing makes me see red faster than those dreaded words I TOLD YOU SO. Especially after it wasn’t an argument!
Me: I think X.
Someone else: No, it’s Y.
Me: Are you sure? I thought it was X!
(We look up whatever it is. It’s Y.)
Someone else: I told you so.
Me: GRRR!
I mean, I wasn’t even arguing! This is the realm and domain of know-it-alls and I HATES IT.
ETA: I also hate people who MUST be right. At my age, I’ve learned sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut or “agree to disagree”, especially when it’s unimportant.
I voted occasionally and sometimes. But it’s really more that it depends on what the dispute was and who it was with. That is, I think some disputes more or less require that sort of end, like when two friends that are fans of opposing sports teams argue about who will win, after the game, the winner is supposed to gloat. I think in those sorts of disputes that’s part of the fun and so I engage it in and it doesn’t bother me at all, other than the small ding to my pride from losing.
Sometimes though, it’s just out of place, and if it’s over something serious and you feel the need to gloat, it does bother me, not so much directly but because someone’s pride was enough that they had to stroke their ego even in a situation where it’s not appropriate. This sort of situation isn’t all that common though, and people who are likely to do it aren’t people I tend to associate with and, if they are, even then it doesn’t really bother me. It’s really only when someone close to me that I trust that wouldn’t really do that does it.
I did have an “I told you so” moment with my father a few years ago, concerning an argument we had when I was a teenager. Except I didn’t phrase it like that, it was more like “I asked about on some internet message board and the answer is really interesting.”
I never say “I told you so.” I prefer a reminder like “you had a good point in that debate” because that really irritates people, as if I think I’m always right and can’t even be bothered to gloat about it. Right AND smugly nice about it = double score.
I have probably said “I told you so” or some form of that at some point.
I’m more likely to point out that “I totally called that” when a prediction comes true. That’s not the same, right?
I’ve never been proven wrong, but I imagine it would sometimes bother me if the other person said “told you so.” It would depend on their delivery.
I would say it isn’t. Admittedly, as someone (Anaamika? I dunno, I can’t scroll up on this computer) pointed out, many people act as if they’ve won an argument regardless of whether an argument has been had.
Uh-huh.
I only say it when I was so overwhelmingly right and the person I forewarned was so overwhelmingly wrong that it would be weird if I didn’t say it.
That said, I’m far from never wrong, but whenever I’ve done something just collossally catastrophic (i.e., get married), everyone I know was urging me right along. Ergo, the whole “I told you so” thing really hasn’t come up.
I took my biology class out insect hunting one fine spring day. One whiny girl was complaining that it was too hot. She sat down (wearing a short dress) under a shady tree that was covered in poison ivy. I told her to get up and go to the office so she could go home and get a shower- she said it wasn’t poison ivy and she wasn’t moving. She returned to school two days later looking like a red, lumpy, itchy, anthropoid pustule.
I said “I told you so.”
I say it only when I’m asked for my advice and the advice is ignored.
I have a buddy who bought a condo in 2008 or so. He sold it just recently for a substantial loss. He asked me, when he was thinking of buying it, if I thought it was a good idea, and I said that I thought the housing market still had a long way to fall. I pointed him to Case-Schiller and other data to back that claim up.
During the sale, he was complaining to me about the selling process, about how no one was making offers, about how much he was losing. I said: “I think this is where I point out: I told you so.” He was pretty good-humored about it. Probably better-humored than I’d have been if I were losing a bunch of money.
I won’t claim that it fosters greater harmony, but sometimes it just feels too good to let go of. Maybe they’ll believe me next time?
The mark of a smug tosspot as far as I’m concerned, although it does depend on tone.
I would only ever say it in a very limited set of circumstances. 1) I was explicitly asked for advice and offered solid advice. 2) The person rejected my advice scornfully or disdainfully (like a jerk). 3) The person faced real negative consequences that I predicted at the time I offered my advice.
In reality, this happens very *very *rarely.
For things that don’t matter much I’m likely to just say “told you”. I suppose it sounds less annoying than “I told you so”.
I probably used to say it a lot more but now I don’t really bother, although if it especially irritated me that someone ignored what I told them I’ll probably say something that basically means they should have listened to me.
When people say it to me it normally irritates me the most when I feel like they were just lucky to be right and I still think my choice was right based on the information we had.