She could’ve worked a deal with the salvage captain; he’d “discover” it (heck, he was looking for it).
Nice turn of typo 
For some reason this is rarely a problem for me.
But this one time at band camp…
I was the assistant manager at a theatre. Art was the manager. We were showing Beverly Hills Cop on screen 3. It was a pretty packed house, and a little rowdy. But this one black woman (her race becomes important later) was way over the top. She was talking at the top of her lungs pretty much non-stop. A lot of people came out of the theatre to complain. We told her to be quiet a number of times, but that just made her louder. It was pretty obvious that she was drunk.
After a number of warnings, we tried to physically remove her from her seat, but we couldn’t budge her. We continued to get complaints. Art finally decided that if we couldn’t remove her, maybe the police would.
It took what seemed like forever for them to arrive. They finally got her out of the theatre and were escorting her up the stairs to the front door. Art was right behind them, I was walking up behind Art along with the woman’s husband. He calmly said to me “You think you have it bad, I have to live with the bitch.”
The cops dragged the woman to their squad car and took her away. Art started to lock the door behind the husband, but he turned around and punched Art in the mouth and yelled about “No one does that to my wife!” A bunch of black kids across the street ran over, yelling “Yeah, kill the whitey!” It took three of us to get the door closed, right before the kids arrived. They started yanking on the door, trying to get it open.
I can’t remember if Art’s lip was bleeding, but I remember him ranting about how he wanted to press charges.
The next day, we were sitting in the office when the phone rang. Art answered it.
“Hello, Sack Cinemas, how can I help you? You’re going to sue us? What? We broke her arm? Hey, don’t look us. It was the cops that hauled her away. You’re going to sue us over her broken arm? My name? Art S_____. And your name is? Mrs. X? You won’t even tell me your name? Mrs. X? Hell no, I’m not going to cooperate if you’re not even going to tell me your name. Goodbye.”
We never heard another word about it.
If her arm was broken, why didn’t you call the amber lamps?
Back in the 80s when the second run dollar theatres were getting popular we went to see Wes Craven’s Shocker on a Friday night in a packed theatre.
It was kind of a given that it was more of a “fun” movie going atmosphere.
A black lady was "oohh"ing and "aahh"ing quite a bit which most people were amused by but somebody decided to shush her.
She stood up and looked around asking “who just shushed me? who was it? oh no you didn’t?” Her friends pulled her back into her chair but not before she got in the last comment “I’ll be yo shocka!”
A bunch of people as well as my friends and I busted out laughing. We still use that phrase today over 20 years later.
Mine was a positive experience:
The Lost World, opening weekend. Full house. Dr. Malcolm’s daughter, in some sort of stupid yet successful escape from the raptors, starts doing gymnastics in one of Jurassic Park’s abandoned buildings.
An audience member yelled out “BULLSHIT!”.
Everybody cracked up. It was the perfect retort to a stupid scene in an awful sequel.
My wife and I went to see Chicken Run in a crowded theater full of kids. As the movie opens, you see a shadowy figure making their way across the chicken coop, darting from shadow to shadow under the cover of darkness. Before the unidentified figure could reach the light and reveal their identity, a small boy in the audience blurted out “It’s a chicken!” We still crack up about it to this day.
For those who haven’t seen it, Bolero was a movie starring Bo Derek in which she played a young woman in search of Paradise. And her definition of that word was losing her virginity with the Perfect Man. She travelled to all sorts of exotic locations to find such a man, only to be disappointed at every turn. It was a bad film that only drew an audience because she might show her tits.
In one scene she was trying to convince a guy to sleep with her, but he wasn’t so sure.
Her: “I have a gift for you.”
Him: “What is this gift?”
Her: “It is a special gift.”
Him: “I do not know if I should take this gift.”
Her: “But it is a special gift.”
Him: “But I do not know if I should take this gift.”
This went on for about 5 completely inane minutes. Someone in the audience shouted “Just take it already.”
Best part of the show.
You know, every time I go see Rocky Horror, the audience just will not shut up!
This was actually before the film started, but after the trailers there were some of those bits advertising the equipment was using (what are they called anyway?); Dolby sound, the projector type, that kind of stuff. Well, at this particular theater chain they had gone to digital projectors on all of their screens. This particular one was a rather loud thunder-and-lightning-like bit that was dark and flashy on the screen and loud out of the speakers. At a showing of Wall-E, a small boy in front of us was scared by the promo and started crying. To his and his parents’ credit, though, he was shushed quickly and behaved perfectly throughout the movie.
Oh! I just remembered one that wasn’t talking, but it was funny.
Probably early 80s, before the big fancy carpeted multiplex theaters became the norm. Single theater, bare floor, easily moppable. I forget what the movie was. At one fairly quiet point in the movie, somebody dropped their Skittles, or M&Ms, or whatever. In a quiet theater, on a slanted hard floor. Plink-plinkety-plinkety-plink-plinkety-plink-plink-plink-plinkety-plinkety-plink-plink-plink . . . It seemed to go on forever, and it was funny as hell.
I’m not sure I want to , because the time we were at the movies and someone yelled “Shut up,” we were the strangers talking. (Granted, this was when we were teens and more full of strongly felt opinions than manners.)
Hubby and I went to see “O Brother Where Art Thou” in a theater that was located in an upscale town center. The theater was full of expensively-dressed yuppsters. A lady behind us chattered through the first half hour or so of the movie, especially when there were parts she didn’t want to see (SPOILER: When the car hit the cow on the dirt road). So she would cover her eyes and say in a regular volume of voice to the people with her, “Oh gosh tell me what’s happening now! Did the cow die? Oh my gosh I can’t watch this!” Someone around us yelled “UNCOVER YOUR EYES AND WATCH THE MOVIE DAMMIT!” One of the self-entitled yuppsters in the group acted sooooo completely offended and said, “Jeez can you believe someone would SAY that to you?” Aw poor baby got fussed at during a movie that we ALL paid $11 to see.
We went to see “American Pie” when it was first released, lots of loud laughing and shrieking during the movie due to the content in general which wasn’t annoying. But some teenage girls in the front of the theater kept yelling out annoying teenage girl things and giggling, then trying to not giggle but that only made them giggle more. A twenty-something guy sitting behind them yelled “SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP”. Boy did they ever.
A friend of mine took his mom (who, incidentally, was in the protracted process of dying from liver failure) to see a re-release of one of her favorite movies. A couple of teenage girls were talking throughout the picture. My friend, who’s about 6’4" and a generally scary looking motherfucker, told them to shut up. They didn’t, and started in with, “You can’t tell us what to do,” and “It’s a free country,” and so forth. So, he stood up, grabbed them each by an arm, dragged them out of their seats, and pushed them out the side exit, shutting the door behind them. This was met by much approval by the theater audience, and (luckily for him), the judge who presided over his assault trial, who called him a “model citizen,” and dismissed the charges.
I have to admit I totally misread that part first time I read your post. Somehow I prefered my misunderstood version to the one you had actually wrote.
P.S: I’m a huge movie fans, but I just cant stand anymore to go to a theatre (even to ones without a rough crowd). Whether it’s me that have to tell 3 or more times to pple to shut the fuck up (I used to be quite shy about doing that stuff a few years back, but my composure has been eroded seriously over time), or fucking idiots checking their cell phones every five minutes thus sparking lights in the theatre, pple munching more heavily that either dialogues or sound effects… Seriously the next time I get into a theatre it will be with an automatic gun and a glee on the face. I will probably watch my next movies from a cell if I ever get again in a theatre.
There was a trial for that??? Funnily, the most interesting part of your story is the one you only allude to. Could you detail?
Thank you for this. I bookmarked that page.
Thanks for that. I tried to recount that story (very roughly it seems)in this post to an old thread:
When I saw the first episode of Californication the next year I wondered if someone associated with the show had read this post.
Years ago I was sitting in the cinema waiting to watch Bad Santa. A young woman with her parents sat behind me. She said to them, “I’ll sit in the middle so I can translate for both of you.” I turned to her and said, “you are going to need an awful lot of euphemisms.” She didn’t actually translate.
Not much to add. The two teens pressed assault charges on my friend. A few months later, he had a court trial, and the judge threw the charges out. It’s a misdemeanor, so I don’t think he even had to go down to the station, much less the jail.
Me too.
It’s a historical artifact.
People have spent immense resources to recover it.
She has children and grandchildren who could vastly benefit from her owning it.
Fuck her and her “closure.” 