Not the best idea I ever had. Shaving cream helps a bit, but not the mentholated kind. That just makes it worse.
To be fair to myself; I was going to test the grater on my legs first, but it’s cargo shorts weather and I didn’t want to go out in public all smooth-shanked. I’m not that European.
Also, never let a friend cut your hair with a weed-whacker. That way madness lies.
So, what grooming tips do you have to share?
Don’t pierce your ears on a drill press. In fact, don’t pierce your anything on a drill press.
And it’s also a bad idea to use a belt sander to give yourself a pedicure.
Full body electrolysis via toaster-in-bathtub works.
Once.
Shocking!
Also to avoid: Sticking your dick into a coffee grinder and hitting the “ON” button.
Been taking home ec tips from Mortricia Addams, have we?
Or clipping your toenails with a riding-mower. Jeez, the things we do for love. Right?
Super-gluing your hair in place saves you the price of a new comb or brush…and it stays clean and shiny for months.
If I knew it was going this kind of party, I’d stick my dick in the mashed potatos!
I tried that once with a small grater, but it took too long. Now I just put them in a food processor.
♬ Shave his nuts with an old cheese grater!
Shave his nuts with an old cheese grater!
Shave his nuts with an old cheese grater!
Ear-lie in the morning! ♬
Step 1: Shave your head. Do it in a poorly lit bathroom. Don’t notice that you look like a plucked chicken, bleeding from a hundred cuts.
Step 2 a: Immediately go to a job interview.
Step 2 b: Talk to a pretty lady.
I clean my bunghole with an ice auger and a fire hose. Clean as a whistle!
If you wash your hair in a public urinal, remove the urinal cake prior to shampooing, or it will leave your hair brittle and lifeless.
Flossing your teeth with a chainsaw is a truly memorable experience.
I read a story a while about a guy who was pleasuring himself on some industrial machinery (as you do) when it slipped and ripped his scrotum open, and he stapled it shut with a staple gun.
And to my surprise, it’s actually true! Snopes link in the spoiler box, as it is very much a nsfw read, although there aren’t any photos.
When I’m constipated, I use a plunger.
On the other hand, brainwashing via Maytag is not.
A better way would be to sit on a piece of cheese, and swallow a live rat.
(Peanut butter also works, and you can use a mouse if a rat is too big.)