I expect that’s a smaller component of the damages than her desire to move away from the idiot racists who apparently surround her.
I’m not sure a plethora of blogs really helps a confused person who is approaching this situation as an outsider - I’d much rather talk to someone with firsthand knowledge even if that was a pain.
Most probably don’t, but some do. Like that blog I linked to said, ‘White mom finds out what it’s like to be a black parent, sues.’
Ok got it, she found out when she wanted more of the same guy’s sperm. But hell if a place is that sloppy to make the mistake in the first place, how could she trust them a second time when they say no you got THIS guy’s sperm.
And am I the only one that noticed there is a goddamn werewolf in the corner of her lawyer’s office?:eek:
Once she had a biracial kid, she had at least a little evidence they were right. And even if they got the donor wrong again, they obviously didn’t send her what she asked for.
That’s deep(ly wrong, off-topic, and offensive, so maybe stop using people’s arguments as props in a morality play you’re staging?)!
But this is a lot different not because of some subjectively defined “hardship”, but because the hospital’s neglience has resulted in a parents’ child being given away to someone else. That there is pain and suffering associated with that is more obvious.
In this case, the daughter is biologically the mother’s. Her skin is just darker and her hair is more coily.
Correct, but what is the cost of raising a Black child above a beyond the cost of raising any other child?
They may not be insignificant, but they aren’t necessary or required. Lots of people send their kids to private schools and get tutors to help their kids get into a good college, but that doesn’t mean any of those things are a necessary prerequisite or a part of the costs of attending a good school.
Yes, but there is not really a greater cost to choosing one cultural activity vs. another such that this woman would need to be recompensed. Her choices would be guided by the child one way or another. That is part of raising a kid; not raising a *Black *kid. Her choices would be guided by any number of things including whether her child was good at sports, loved reading, or was an imbecile. Just because she may resent feeling obligated to do cultural activities from a culture that is not hers is beside the point.
Furthermore, this idea that an adopted kid needs to connect with their “culture” shouldn’t be distilled to these facile obligations like keeping certain food in the house or visiting a jazz museum. I keep seeing these comments here and elsewhere that make it seem like this woman is now required to make collard greens and black eyed peas once a week because she gave birth to a biracial child. I am also shocked that many of these same people harping on how costly it will be to have to raise this kid are the first to deny racism is a big deal in general.
Strictly speaking, she is a minority child in a minority household given her parents are lesbians. More importantly, this situation is not like an adoption. This is HER biological kid. In all likelihood, the kid (pictured here) looks a little bit like her, and has half of her genes. She is not like an adopted minority kid who probably looks nothing like her adopted parents and is in fact completely unrelated. The kid is in situation has half her DNA. She is also HALF White. Even if I agree that adopted minority kids in White homes requires special considerations, the same doesn’t necessarily apply to BIRACIAL kids in the home of a biological parent. The two situations are not that similar.
Also, it’s not like she and her lesbian partner could pass off any child as completely theirs anyway. All this woman is worried about is how strangers view her because her kid has kinky hair. Sorry, but that is not some tremendous hardship that requires tens of thousands of dollars to remedy.
Any parent knows having children involves a host of risks that may change your plans. Your plans don’t really mean shit, and “having to” abandon them is insignificant.
But they made the choice to move there presumably knowing their neighbors were racists scumbags. That kind of environment has costs regardless of whether you are the target of scorn. I wouldn’t want my kid to become a unapologetic racist any more than I would want him subject to their ridicule.
The point is that the notion that the town was fine before there was a Black kid in the picture is false. I don’t really have any sympathy for someone who makes those choices, then bitches when the full weight and consequence of those choices is visited upon her, even if they likelihood of such a thing happening is slim.
That is not analogous though. Your sister was made WHOLE. She was given treatment to make it as if the whole thing never happened. She wasn’t given shit to make her better off than wen she started (eg. LASIK or elective cosmetic surgery).
Please explain to me though how it costs $50k+, the amount they are suing for, to move?
Of course! What I wouldn’t dream of giving my unborn offspring every advantage in life. Only the best food, education, and housing. Free ride in college. Amazing vacations to exotic locations. An environment where people won’t judge them for being the wrong race. All the skills, knowledge, and patience on my part to raise a healthy citizen. Most people want that.
Am I entitled to any of this? And is my unborn child? If no in my case, why is this plaintiff so entitled to only the best?
By using a sperm bank, she took a gamble she’d get some qualities she might’ve not gotten if she’d conceived the conventional way. It’s obvious she got more than she gambled for when the company gave her the wrong sperm, and because of that, it bears some responsibility. But I object to the idea that raising a biracial child is a costly and burdensome situation that requires reparations.
Earlier in the thread people were talking about how she could have had an abortion when she found out, I’m saying how could she have trusted the info.
What if a black couple where the husband was infertile wanted sperm from a black guy, and were mistakenly sent some from a white guy. Would anyone really argue they were racists for not wanting that situation?
Sure that isn’t the exact situation here, the point is that the sperm bank messed up and it could have happened to anyone.
People pretty much are. The comment is a tiny bit hyperbolic, but not by much. This lady is suing for “wrongful birth and breach of warranty, citing the emotional and economic losses she has suffered”. The problem is that she seems to have waited two years to sue, indicating her opinion that it was a wrongful birth was primarily due to the treatment she received because her daughter was Black, not because the daughter was from the wrong sperm donor. It’s further supported by comments from the plaintiff like:
Just getting something you see as different, but of similar value, doesn’t usually inspire anger, fear, and disappointment.
If you are gonna try to tell me on the idea that MANY people (even absent this case) don’t see being Black as a defect, then I think you are full of shit. We can’t even go a few months on this board without someone arguing being Black makes you stupid.
Yes, it does. But not all surprises are of the same magnitude. This is a lot to take in for a white person who has only observed this situation (if they’ve observed it at all) from the outside. I wouldn’t want to live around a bunch of racists regardless of the race of my children, but evidently this mom wasn’t all that worried about it until it became obvious it could affect her child. That’s myopic, but I think it’s better than nothing.
Since this kind of looks like it’s addressed to me, I want to point out that I haven’t said the mother is a racist - although the court filings imply at least once that she is not comfortable around black people. Which ought to make the rest of her life interesting.
Sorry it wasn’t addressed to you, I was throwing it out there for those that think badly of the woman for being upset for getting different sperm than she ordered.
There’s also the fun aspects of the mother here getting the joy of explaining her reproductive history thousands of times to random strangers whether or not she has any desire to do so. Even well-meaning strangers. When you’re a person with reproductive challenges (and a lesbian is, by definition, a person with reproductive challenges), the desire to avoid having to talk about your reproductive challenges with random strangers is very, very real. Having a child who is of a racial background that is obviously different from your own not only invites that kind of discussion, it pretty much sends out gilt-edged RSVPs inviting the world to talk about your personal details. Not all of us are okay with that.
Like it or not, when a parent has a child who is apparently a member of a racial group the parent is not a member of, people feel compelled to comment. Mostly, the comments aren’t mean or nasty in any way - but people feel compelled to comment in a way they do not feel compelled to comment when seeing a parent with a child of the same racial group.
Speaking as someone for whom it is extremely unlikely I will be medically able to have biological children, one of the things I consider when contemplating adoption is that adopting a child who is racially different than me will basically ensure that I will be discussing my inability to have biological children repeatedly, frequently, and for the rest of my freaking life. Probably not in any depth (because I have a superior Grand Duchess “you-are-asking-impertinent-questions-you-cretin” stare on me), but it’s gonna come up. Often. Which means that even if I don’t choose to discuss the matter, I will have to THINK about it. Often. As you might expect, it’s not a topic I choose to dwell on - nor do I have any interest in talking about it with random strangers. If I wanted to talk about it with strangers, I would buy a damn T-shirt that said “Ask Me About My Infertility!”.
I have a hard time automatically assuming this mother is a flaming racist, absent any other indications of racism, frankly. When there’s already something out-of-the-ordinary about your life, I have no issue with someone wanting to minimize the extent to which the difference is . . . readily apparent to casual passers-by, so to speak. I tend to view this more as a decision to maximize privacy (and, of course, to increase the extent to which your baby looks like you - which is a perfectly reasonable desire), rather than an indication of racism.
I honestly don’t think it’s all that off-topic or offensive. I won’t claim “you with the face” agrees with me at all, but I suspect what she objects to is this idea: instead of getting the whiteness level you wanted/expected in your baby, that having non-white characteristics is something damaging/challenging enough to require financial compensation (beyond what you would ask for if it was only the clinical error that troubled you).
I agree that defect is a loaded word, but when people start talking about babies as consumer products I think it’s not unreasonable.