My sixteen-year-old friend, M.J., just discovered that she is pregnant.
She’s handling it very well. She’s not exactly happy about it, but she’s not freaking out, either. Her family is being very supportive, and the father of the child is trying not to be an asshole.
They’ve already decided that they are absolutely not going to get married, as the pregnancy is a result of a one-night stand and both feel they are too young to get married - to anyone (he’s 20).
He’s told her that he is not willing, however, to consent to giving the child up for adoption, nor does he want to be a father. She’s not willing to have an abortion. Her mother has offered to take legal guardianship until such time as MJ has finished her schooling and has found stable financial footing and is self-sufficient. I told her that that sounded like the very best idea for all concerned.
The bitch of the whole situation is this: MJ has had sex with exactly two men in her lifetime. The guy to whom she lost her virginity at age 14, and the father of her baby, a man she slept with after having been decidedly celebate since the first time she had sex. I don’t know why she chose to break her celebacy and sleep with this guy, I didn’t ask. I just think it bites that
“the-girl-who-doesn’t-have-sex” gets pregnant the one time she decides to go for it.
She had that Norplant thing but it was screwing up her periods, so she’d gone off of it. Evidently she wasn’t aware that that was equivalent to opening up a floodgate. Add that to a broken condom and you have the perfect ingredients for bad timing.
I have no idea why I feel compelled to post this, probably just because it’s foremost on my mind right now and due to the late hour, I have nobody to talk to about it.
I told her that I would help her anyway I could, loan her my pregnancy books, accompany her to OB appointments, take her to see my doula friend, be there with her during the delivery, etc. I just wish that I could turn back time for her.
That’s all. I suppose if any of you who “started early” have any advice for me to pass along, it would be appreciated.