Shirley's Big Game Lottery Contest: Enter today!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

I know there is great concern from all concerning what would I do with my shared millions if I won. I solemnly pledge the following:
To all the (female)mothers on the board, liposuction, cosmetic surgery, lasix surgery and a tattoo of their choice.

To all other board members: a free tattoo and a case of beer of their choice.

Oh yes, and a big party too for SDMB.
Also, I would start a campaign hunting down the inspector at the Stapler manufacturors of the world and require them to test each and every frickin’ stapler that exits the plant. I have a theory that it is a 1 in 100,000 staplers that actually works and you or anyone you know ( that you like) will not have possession of the working stapler.

I would also fire bomb Martha Stewart’s house, repeatedly.

There are some other things I would do, but my time is limited and my brain not functioning up to speed this morning.

42

he he he God I hope you win Shirley, I want you to actually achieve all those goals you set out. Never seen a better set.

I still have to tell you though that without my lucky number 14 you ain’t gonna win squat!! tee hee. Actually judging from past goes at the lottery (I used to play every week) you may be better off without it.

With my millions I will become “CAT LADY” the woman of a thousand cats who was eventually found dead with cats nibbling away her toes. (Oh Cat lady has to have a super Addams family house too.)

Good luck

43

My lucky number is 24.

If we win here’s what I want to do with the money:

  1. Set up an enormous college fund for my 2 existing children and the 2 children I haven’t had yet but will have someday!

  2. I would pay off my car, my student loans, my medical bills, and credit cards.

  3. I would buy a nice little house with a big yard for the kids to play in and have the mother of all parties for everyone at the SDMB and the rest of my friends!! It would also have to have a swimming pool, garden, and flower bed and lots of trees!!

  4. I would have my parents retire and I would buy them a new motor home and a car they could tow behind it so they could travel the country. I would also make sure my brothers and their families were taken care of as well as a couple of close friends I have.

  5. I would buy a couple of houses in Topeka and turn them into Ronald McDonald houses because there is only one in Topeka and they need more! I stayed there for 17 days after having my daughter while she was in the hospital and it was a nice place and it was more affordable than a hotel and the people there were so nice to me! They definitely need more places like that for parents/relatives that have loved ones in the hospitals!

  6. I would build an amusement park with roller coasters, water slides, a roller skating rink, race tracks, games, food, etc., etc., because there’s not a lot of stuff for young kids and teenagers to do around here and it would be a lot of fun and hopefully keep them out of trouble.

  7. I would keep some cash on hand in the house… locked in a safe of course. The rest would be in the bank and would be invested.

  8. I would also invent a pair of panty hose that would never get runs!! Why is it we can put a man on the moon but we can’t get a decent pair of panty hose!!

There’s a lot of fun stuff I would like to do but I need to get back to work so it will have to wait.

Good luck to Shirley and whomever she picks!! I hope you win!! :slight_smile:

44

bravo to you for making me spit salad all over my computer!

I’d pay to keep Felicity and Sports Night on the air. Shut up. I love 'em.

I’d buy my family matching Pink Cadilacs. Except my father would get a new BMW motorcycle, as I’m not sure his masculinity could stand a pink Caddy. I think I’d also build a housing complex like in The Godfather for my family. We’re not mafia, but we do enjoy each other’s company. Unfortunately, we also enjoy our own space.

I’d travel around the world, writing a book called “Look at me, I’m traveling around the world: AND I’M REALLY RICH!”

I’d give a mill or two a year away. Seriously. Children’s charities, battered women’s shelters, and Amnesty International. In fact, I think I’d like to give away as much as possible.
Oh, and Dopefest 2000? On me.
My lucky number is 42. Winning would be infinately improbile, (sp?) seems appropriate.

45

Pope Swiddles, funny you should mention the pink caddy. I asked hubby:

" If money were no object what would be your dream car?"

He looked at the car next to us, a Navigator, and said,
“One of those, but I want it pink. To show my sensitive side.”

I then told him that I would buy him that pink car when I win the lottery, but only if he’d put a Mary Kay Cosmetics window decal on the back.

He said he’d think about it. Has his masculinity to think about.

46

320 million? With 53 million in the bank, I would:

Be the first in my family to ever graduate from college, as I could quit working.

Establish a %100 No-Kill animal shelter

Provide every person I consider a friend with airfare to the destination of their choice.

Send flowers to a few very special people, along with a thank you note for the times we spent together.

Have my parents retire immediately.

Throw a huge party for all my friends and acquaintences, with the bands to be chosen by majority decision.

Repay those who have helped me in life emotionally with gifts they deserve; my words and gratitude will never be enough.

Learn how to play again.

47

SNORT! Just when I thought I had a fair to average command of the english language, Evilbeth stumps me then makes me snort like a hog with this one.

48

Is it my fault I never had children? Why this discrimination against those of us who can’t (or choose not to) breed?

49

Sassy, you are obviously putting the cart before the horse.
Anyways, unless a dark horse comes in late, I’ve picked the winners.

Now, there were alot of great entries and being the benevolent fool I am, and having twenty dimes that I swiped from my children’s college fund jar, I have picked not 5 winners, but 10. Sharing millions of dollars between nine people seems nicer than cutting out five others.

Ticket #1: #'s 4,5,9,11, 27 and power ball - 29

Prospective Winners:

Cristi #9 - For her to pave the road in front of her house. I feel your pain sister.

Evilbeth #4 - For starting the Slacker Scholarship Fund and the campaign to have her face in the dictionary next to sycophant.

Andyroo #5 - For banning the Nanny and bombing the BackStreet Boys.

Osip #11 - For the WTF gags. Almost peed my pants reading that.

Ticket number two’s numbers are:23,29,42,48, ?) and a power ball number of 10.

Prospective Winners are:

Swimming Riddles (#42): For the Pink Cadillacs for her family and mentioniong Godfather, Mafia in the same sentance and denying her family has any connection.

Little Nemo - # 23 - For being the most honest in stating " I would waste it."

TVeblen #48 - For recognizing the importance of $1 entertainment.

Jezebel #29 - One would think that being wished a happy birthday by Cecil himself, would be all that one would need to live the rest of their days in total bliss. However, her desire to carve her name into the moon with a laser is kick ass. Here is to carved cheese in outer space, Jezebel.

I am waiting for John Larrigan to email me his lucky number, his one of a truck load of rheus monkies and having them do a civil war reenactment in his backyard is priceless and should be covered by all the major networds who innundated us with the Elian case.

If I do not hear from John, I reserve the right to pick another number, of which and most certianly, will be the wrong one.

50

Shirley, not that I’m ungrateful, but since I don’t want a tatoo, could I get my liposuction supersized?

I heard on the news today, that if one chose the one time pay-out, one would only get 100 mill and some change. Sigh, it makes it almost not worth playing. :wink:

And I’ve decided that I’m going to get my big doggie a miniature carriage to pull around. And I’m going to get a monkey and dress him up in livery and train him to be the coachman. I will dress the little doggie in a ball gown and call her Lady YumYum Kissypoo.

Aside from evilbeth’s slacker scholarship, I would like to donate large sums to the public library. And once a year, I’d buy all the poor children in America whatever books they wanted from the Scholastic catalogue.

I’d also like to rent, heck buy, a giant yacht and take all my Straight Dope friends on a cruise around the world. Just for fun, we’d have a great big room full of costumes and dress up all day, every day.

There’s more, but I don’t want to seem greedy.

Oh, and I’d give Shirley her own radio advice show and weekly syndicated column.

51

Ok, I started to read the thread, but felt like I didn’t want to look like I was copying anyone’s answer.

First I would take care of the mudane:

*I would pay off my student loans
*Pay off my parent’s debts and give them enough money to retire
*Then I would pay off my sister’s debts (just because I know she’ll pester me until I do)
*I’ll pay off my friend’s debts.
*Then I’ll give a huge lump of money to my landlord. He is a super sweet guy who provides supercheap housing to college students, but he admitted to me a couple months ago that he’s rapidly losing money.
*Open up a scholarship fund in my homestate

I’m not sure what I’ll do with the rest. I’ve never been the mansion/yacht/corvette type person. I imagine I’ll give most of it to charity.

Well, I would splurge and buy just about every music CD I have ever wanted.

My number is 23

52

Thanks, Shirley! :D:D:D:D

If we win, I’ll buy the nachos for what I’m sure will become the real Guy Stuff!

53

A cross between Janeane Garafaoluspususgus and Dr. Laura. That would be shock radio at its finest. Move over Howard!

Tickets are bought and in a secure place: on my frig with a Gettysburg Souvenier magnet keeping all would be thieves away from it.

54

Well, here’s a late entry. I would take $10 million of my winnings and split it among the 1000 best SDMB posters, selected by me. The rest is for me!:slight_smile: Pasrt of that money would go to a foundation dedicated to Developing technology to send a man to Mars. That man would be Regis Philbin. Someone else can develope the technology to bring him back. My number is 8.

55

along with the pile of goats, i would invest money into getting regis back.

56

Is it too late? My number is 10. If I win, I will found The Straight Dope University and give all the Dopers tenure track positions.

57

actually I feel the most needy and the most sad. I would just accept enough to get me back to kansas city missouri and find a place to live till I could find a tech job I could live off of. I miss my family so much… they are all I have and all I love now… I am all by myself. I hurt so bad, but there are people that love me, but I cant get to them.

58

Shirley, did you have to wait a long time to get the tickets? After you left yesterday, I thought dang, I’ll bet there is a line out the wazoo and poor Shirley’s gonna be stuck there with the little ones. Hey gang, when we win, how 'bout we give Shirley and extra $15, for the gas and a little extra to buy some ice cream for the kids?

BTW, thank you for picking me, even though you didn’t give a reason. ::sniff, sniff:: Really, it’s just enough to be included, I don’t need my ego massaged. As long as I know that I did my best, it doesn’t matter if anybody else thinks I had a good idea. Nope. I am a confident woman, I am.

::turns head away, wipes tears 'n snot with sleeve::

59

Well, the news just said that there is at least one winning ticket out there. They talked to someone in Utica, Michigan, who confirmed it (maybe it was purchased there?)

Anyway, the authority people say that if one person wins he/she will get 13.5 million per year for 26 years. Or if they choose the cash payout, it will be 173 million. Of course, these are pre-tax numbers…

A guy I work with read me the numbers but I forgot them. I know that the powerball number was 4–MY lucky number!

60

Tater, thanks for your concern. The little podunk party store where I went had no line, but the party store owner, one could easily tell, was annoyed that everyone was just stopping in to buy $100 worth of tickets and no smokes or booze.

As Evilbeth the sycophant already has broken the news, we are not the winners. It’s a sad day when people with such excellent intentions to better the world by reinacting Civil War battles with monkeys in their back yard,carve their name into the moon with a giant laser and do WTF? gags through out the south are denied their fondest dream.

One story I’ve heard is that the winner is from Shelby Township Michigan. My sister in laws in laws live over there and they are really nice and sincere church people ( as in they are the big fish at their church and I like these folks) but if they won, [whine] they are going to give most to all of the money to charity and churchly deeds. I mean, what is the point when Kilgore could have done interesting things with goats? {/whine]

[sarcasm] At least the schools will be getting the money…[/sarcasm]