Shirley's Big Game Lottery Contest: Enter today!

The Big Game Lottery here in Michigan ( and a few other states) is estimated to be at 300 million on it’s drawing for this Tuesday.
In an extreme effort to avoid housework, I have conjured up a contest for SDMB:

Submit what you would do with your lottery winnings and ONE lucky number. Depending on my mood du jour when I read the entries, I will pick five winners and take their numbers and buy a ticket. I will pick the Gold Ball number.

Here’s the disclaimer that by entering Shirley’s Big Game Lottery Fever Contest, you agree to split any winnings equally with the five people (plus me) I’ve picked here.
However, you are free to give any interview any publication you desire: Hardcopy and People Magazine, etc. ( I myself shall only give an interview to Weekly World News. A name you can trust in journalistic integrity.) However, do not expect the other winners to join you for a spread in Playboy’s feature " Naked Instant Millionaires")

Number selection is 1-50.

Crack and hookers Matt, crack and hookers…

Not Shirley JACKSON, I hope …

My number is 43, and if I am the lucky winner, I would use the $$ to fly all you wonderful Dopers to a yet-to-be-disclosed location and we’d have a big ol’ all-expense paid Dopefest, courtesy of Athena.

I’m pretty sure the yet-to-be-disclosed location will NOT be the Wynkoop Brewery in downtown Denver, lest we all spend the dopefest wandering around looking for each other.

I would take over the world. “The Nanny” (the TV show) would be banned. SDMB posters would be ruling class. And… the homes of the Backstrret Boys would be firebombed by Stealth Bombers. Repeadedly. If you are looking forward to a better future such as I just described, YOUR LUCKY NUMBER IS 5.

I will hire a private contractor to pave the road in front of my house.

I will donate heavily to many charities, including the charities of the five other chosen one’s choice.

I will get a play structure for my kids.

I will buy my husband studio time, so he can get a real CD out on the market, and hopefully get the recognition he so richly deserves.

I will throw out every piece of clothing I own that is more than ten years old, and replace them with jeans and comfortable shirts.

I will not buy a big house and a bunch of new cars. The house I’ll be moving in to in a few weeks is good enough, and the car I’ve got is fine.

I will retain a stockbroker and invest.

My numbers: 2, 7, 12, 23, 28, 33 (I don’t know how many you’re supposed to pick. I think it’s six. If it’s five, drop the 33).

Whoops! Read that wrong.

You asked for ONE lucky number. Mine is NINE.

What I’d do hasn’t changed, though!

I’d like to add an amendment to my earlier stated goals of my rule. Althought they may seem perfect I must improve.

1- The Tactical Stealth Firebombing (TSF) of the homes and places of work of the Backstreet Boys, will now encompass all boy bands, as well as Kid Rock.

2- I have decided that banning “The Nanny” is not enough. The entire cast must also be fed to the wolves.

3- Homer Simpson will be the new potrait on the face of U.S. currency

4- Money would be put into research of high powered laser satellite weapons strictly for the purpose of melting Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit from space.

Thank you for your time. Long live the revolution!

I’d just spend it all, probably on a big ass laser so I can carve my name in the moon.

My number is 29.




My number is 41.

I would pay off any bills that my parents and my husband’s parents have.

I would spend a lot of money creating youth activities and establish pet visitation in hospitals, nursing homes, etc.

I would send my kids to the best colleges, while still requiring that they work some amount of the time for money, lest they think the world on a silver platter is the norm.

I would travel with husband finally. The kind of travel where there is no agenda and no return date. “What state sounds good to you today, honey?”

And last, but certainly not least, I would host a huge party for y’all.

I would not, however, enter Shirley Jackson’s lottery.


I don’t enjoy ‘so-called’ luxuries, and I’ve traveled enough for any three people, so after paying off family debts and guaranteeing security for myself and my loved ones, there’d be a ton left over. I know exactly what I’d do with it…

…but I long ago decided that publicizing it would wreck it. SD could be scrutinized pretty thoroughly by the media, if they allot this news item more than its predestined 15 minutes (Heck, I’ve already exceeded my allotment)

So consider me the unknown box behind curtain three – or more appropriately, #37

Though I think we all agree a massive SD party would be only fair.

Oooh, cool! Being a wild gambler, I’ve purchased exactly 3 lottery tickets, in circumstances like this. Namely, a group of us would go in together when the jackpot was huge and have a ball thinking up wild plans for the proceeds.

Hey, it was cheap entertainment for a buck.

Okay, put my number in for 48. I’d make sure my sis and family were secure, then probably invest the rest. Wild dream here, but if possible I’d retire on the income and do stuff I love to do. Nothing very splashy, sad to say. I’d garden like a maniac, cook (I end up giving most of it to the local shelter and battered women’s center anyway–they think my feeblest efforts are great), adopt some more critters from the shelter, and visit rest homes.

Wanna know what’s pathetic? None of that stuff is nearly as goody-two-shoes as it sounds. I LIKE doing that stuff. And maybe I could give some serious money to some causes I can only give dribs and drabs to now.

THANKS, Shirley, for a chance for some happy dreaming!

Hopelessly bland,

And Lars from Metallica. And his record label.

If you agree on this, I’ll vote for you. Oh, wait, this isn’t a poll, is it?

1)I would pay off my bills.
2)Would pay to have my house fixed and have an extra room added on. (gotta have a real library)
3)Invest majority of money so I no longer have a 9-5 job.
4) Spend new found free time learning languages (russian, german, romainan, and spanish.
Spending at least one month in each country.
5) set up trust funds to make for my family. College trust funds for a few of my friends kids.
6) Design and plan various “WTF” gags to torment huntsville alabama.
A perfect example can be found in the book “If at all possible involve a cow.” Build a statue of liberty mock up (upper body think planet of the apes) and plan it in a field in the middle of the night. Makes people drive by and go WTF?!
7)Create a will that will despense of my money in a VERY memorable fashion.
Finance trust funds to women who get artificially seminated and bear my children :slight_smile:
8)travel to every SD get together I possibly can.
9) buy aha some nice comfortable knee pads so he can practice his ass kissing without fear of negative long term damage to his knees.
Dozens of Osips being raised by financially secure stay at home mothers. Tell me THAT would not grab a national headline!
8) Travel. Lots of SD get togethers out there I could attend.

A few bright stars have lept out into the forefront. I know it’s Sunday and some of you are busy with something called, " A Life" so I fully expect to see more responses tomorrow after you get back to the catatonic state called Your Job.

A life?! Whazzat? Who?..::head whips around:: Oh, yeah, The Job. sigh What a pisser. Well, one thing about being a drone–even a grimly dedicated and resigned drone–you takes your fun where’s ya find it. And yes, this IS fun…

Carry on,

Ok, Lars is in on the list of Celebrities to be Melted with Giant Lasers From Space (Sue Napster will ya? Son of a…). Make requests with the future dictator while you still can!
Come comrades! The revoluton needs you! Vote for your future dictator, andyroo010!

If I win any lottery money, I promise to completely waste it. My pick is 23.

oh yeah I forgot a number. I choose 11