Shit and other stuff you should reply to.

Okay, my exam for my five level (career (HAH) advancement test) is Wednesday and I haven’t studied at all. I’m pissing myself, because, while I did the same thing for my last exam, I had a little computer program with a whole fuckload (around 500 or so) questions on it that I could just mindlessly memorize the night before the test. THIS time, I have nothing but my text, which is about worthless. I’m starting to become frightened. I’ve never failed any test in my life. I WON’T FAIL NOW! I’m gonna study. I should study now, instead of posting, but … I don’t know. Anyway.

This last weekend was fun. A few friends and I all went out and got paintball supplies and ran around in the ‘Garden of the Gods’ or ‘Gardn of God’ as the road sign proclaims. It’s really neat, if you’re ever out in Colorado, you should see it. It’s beautiful. Man, I’m a shitty writer. Anyway, I figured out, after the game started, that I have a shitty gun, because I had the other team all bunched up together, I guess they were talking or some shit, and my FUCKING GUN RAN OUT OF CO2!!! I was highly irate. Even more so, when they heard the popping noise from my gun (the little fucking paintball just popped out of my barrel like five feet and bounced in the sand) and all started shooting. I don’t know HOW I didn’t get hit, maybe all their guns were out of CO2 as well. I replaced my cartridge on the way back to my team’s camp, and the other guys raided us almost the second I got back. I ran off, but when I popped out of my new hiding spot, Shep shot me in the throat and the hip, after a few THOUSAND rounds. Man, he must have an automatic gun, because he was tearing some shit up. Anyway, that was all fun. You all should play paintball. It’s not too horribly expensive after you buy the gun. I’ll probably buy a custom automag, like Kevin’s, it’s around $300US.

m’kay :rolleyes: First of all, we have no idea who Shep or Kevin are in the first place. And since this is your first post, we don’t know who you are either. I do beleive this may be one of the strangest first posts I have encountered.

My recommendation: Lurk, and Lurk, and Lurk until you can identify what would make an understandable thread.

Hi… elian.

Welcome aboard, I guess. A few remarks and questions, though:[ul][li]Do not use profanity outside of the BBQ Pit. No one is going to kick you out over the odd “shit” or even “fuck”, but your post was over the top, in this regard.[/li][li]I’m not entirely sure what to think of your username.[/li]What the hell is that sig line all about?[/ul]Would you mind helping me out here?

Welcome to the boards, elian. Well, you certainly get high marks for posting mundane and pointless stuff in the correct forum.

I know what you mean about blowing off work. I’ve got a project I should finish, but here I am. I don’t even have anything as interesting as paintball to talk about.

Good luck on your test.

[Gruff Fatherly Voice]
That better be studying I hear coming out of your room. Don’t make me come up there!
[/Gruff Fatherly Voice]

You’ll never know everything until you know how to fail a test.
–Tests are pointless, I think I’ve learned more on the boards in a day than I’ve learned studying for a final. There has to be a better way to show proof of knowledge.

They allow you to play paintball in the Garden of the Gods? Wow–and I thought they were being generous by allowing the rock climbers to do their thing.

Beautiful place though. But paintball? No wonder the rocks are red. :slight_smile:

Ehm, yeah. Shit. And other stuff.

Can’t… but… reply… to… crap… op…


— G. Raven

Garden of the Gods is technically just a Colorado Springs city park. And it’s a huge place; I don’t see how the city cops alone could patrol it for paintballers.

However, anybody who would play paintball in a national treasure like Garden of the Gods deserves to have it rain every time they have out-of-town guests who want to climb Pike’s Peak.

Oh God…I remember once me and Kevin and Shep went out ‘a smelt harvestin’. It was a blast, and then we went around and peed on national monuments.

Remember? You know Shep! Come on! SHEP! He’s a blast. He shoots squirrels in the back yard and then puts 'em on the neighbors mailboxes.

And Kevin, he’s a real hoot. I remember once he ate 53 pancakes in one sitting, had six shots of Ouzo and then puked all over Miss Eau Claire.

Kevin, Shep and I, yeah…those were the days…


Ladies and gentlemen, your American tax dollars at work.

Wow! Banned after one post?

Hey jarbaby! Shep told me all about that! He also said you and Kevin were pissin’ in water balloons and droppin’ ‘em off freeway overpasses. He said you had a whole point system worked out: pickups were one point, sedans were two, little commuter cars three, new VW bugs five, windshield of a semi ten, ambulance fifty. I don’t remember what he said cops were worth. Sounds like a knee-slappin’ good time; why’dya leave it out?

He told me all about it while me, him and two other guys was sneakin’ into the local hospital and stealin’ narcotics from the emergency room storage bins. We almost got caught, except Kevin and Stu jumped in a closet, and I stretched out on a gurney and Shep lay on top of me and yanked up the blanket.

The security guy came in and gave us the big hairy eyeball, but Shep faked like he was gonna puke all over him, so the guy left. But then the nurse came in, and was askin’ all these questions, like where’d he come from, who was the doctor he was seeing, what was he in for, all that noyze. Meanwhile, I’m underneath him, my head at his feet, and I get this funny idea. I’m all careful like and stick my hand up between his legs and poke up the blanket with a finger, all slow and stuff, so it looks like he’s getting this huge boner. I can see Stu and Kevin in the closet, peeking out, laughing to beat the band, OMG it was funny!!!

So anyway the nurse leaves, and all four of us take a huge dump on the gurney, hit the Code button, and run. Man, they wuz chasin’ us for miles. Luckily Rudolph has that souped up Charger, and we cut through a playground and lost the cops. We unloaded the narcotics downtown and went and bought some o’ that freaky Japanese porn and drank 40’s and circlejerked for the rest of the night. Kickass!

Hey, great job elian!
As of 7:02 pm EST, 184 people now associate paintball with total morons.