Bull-pooper.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Anyone ever spend a substantial amount of time with a True Bullshitter?
One of those guys whose been everywhere, done everything, - with ease.

Well, I have just been privileged to spend the better part of three days listening to a certain a–hole spew all manner of bullshit, everything from golf to traveling to cars.
There were three of us in this group. Me, a co-worker and this new guy.
New guy has clearly done everything at the ripe old age of 32. He’s flown airplanes, raced cars and bikes, traveled all over the globe, excelled at golf, bowling and women.

Two things to note;
I happen to know my share about cars, golf, and women, - I’m 35.
My coworker knows his share about golf, bowling, and traveling. And a little about everything else, he’s 55 and has seen lots.
New guy didn’t bother to find out what we knew before he starts spewing his bullshit. Poor bullshitting tactic.

So, new guy;
Bowled his first 300 one month after learning how to bowl. Averages a 230 and only bowls about once per month.
Golf was so easy that he stopped playing, something about the courses being too short and he always drove longer than the fairways would play.
Cars, he must have owned about 30 automobiles. Except he doesn’t know shit about any of them. He called his TransAm a Tranny (really short for trasmission, not TransAm) and that was a ten second car in the 1/4 mile. He couldn’t remember trap speeds when asked.
He used to tune his 69 Super Bee’s carbs while someone else drove the car and he layed on top of the engine with screwdriver and wrenches making the adjustments whilst the driver tooled on down the street.
His 95 Corvette could do wheelies. Really. Without cracking the fibergalss body panels since the frame wasn’t re-inforced. It was mostly a stock car with a different carbeurator and exhaust. Wheelies!
He was a local champion at motorcross racing. He also ran Midgets in the Midwest circuit.
He also claimed to be a ladies man. But something told me that any woman with half a brain could see throught this guy. Stories about five women on the same weekend and three in one night were not rare.
Right.

Now, you may ask, how did we let this guy get away with this? We did, merely for the entertainment vlaue that his stories lent. And we knew that his stay would be short from the get-go since the guy did more talking than working.
Me and co-worker would prod the guy along with a “Really?” every now and then to keep the guy rolling, even though we new everything the guy said was pretty much a lie. He even repeated a golf story I had just heard on the local morning show about a week ago as his own.
We strung him along for our own pleasure. We gave him enough rope to hang himself.

Anyone else been forced to have their ears filled with bullshit?

2

I have an uncle who will feed you a line of B.S. when the truth would be better or more interesting. He can’t help himself and will even get mad at you if you don’t believe him.

You should have taken him bowling, just for the fun of hear excuses for not breaking 100.

3

Ah, yes - another Commander McBragg (remember him?)

I used to work for a man who claimed the following:

  1. He played guitar for Steely Dan on “Can’t Buy A Thrill.” Never mind that he would have been about 12 years old at the time.
  2. His father was personally responsible for Nixon’s trip to China. “My father is a big Republican supporter and had a direct line to the President.”
  3. He had been a professional body builder in high school. How he managed to do this while playing with Steely Dan never did get answered.
  4. If he ate onions, he’d go blind.

No matter what you had seen, done, heard, said, or thought, he had seen, done, heard, said, or thought something that not only topped yours, but did so by a factor of 10.

He was, by almost all accounts, a complete dickhead.

4

Yeah, I worked with someone like that 20 something years ago. He’d start on one of his stories and would get all animated and excited, I guess because he was hearing it for the first time too. It was a shame because he was a good guy otherwise, just a habitual exaggerater and bragging liar. T’was a pity but it got to the point where he’d start telling some extraordinary tale and we’d all just shake our collective heads and walk away.

5

Actually yes, yes I have. I have two co-workers that tells “stories” all the time. I have been slowly documenting them. I was waiting to collect more stories and actually create a thread but this seems like the perfect place to post this.

These are all random tales that I have heard while on a smoke break. I never talk to either of these people directly unless it has to do with work as I hear enough bullshit while they are talking to other people.

Co-worker # 1:

(I think this person is a hypochondriac as well)

Her brother fell asleep at the wheel and drove on the landing strip at Hopkins Airport

10/14/2004 - Some dude came in wielding a knife at the McDonalds were she was working at the time and she jumped over counter as she is yelling call the cops and gets the knife from the crazy dude.

11/2/2004 - Born with dislocated hip so one leg is longer than the other. Nurse almost dropped her son when he was born and she has high cholesterol

11/10/2004 - Got a got a dislocated shoulder at work(McDonalds) (this was not from the knife wielding incident) Workers Comp case filed. Just got finished last year. (That must have been a very long case as she has been working here 11 years) oh and she has high cholesterol

11/15/2004 - Said today that she has Scoliosis oh and did you know that she has high cholesterol.

11/30/2004 - Said she is going for x-rays tomorrow on her hips. They are hurting because of the dislocated hip and scoliosis.

12/02/2004 - 20 x-rays. Only 3 on the back and the other 17 on the right hip. Doc thinks she has a herniated disk and you guessed it, she has high cholesterol.
12/14/2004 - Her Grandmother died but she stated that she was okay because she never really new her because her mother was kidnapped when she was 5 years old so her mother never really knew her real mother and that she was only notified because her mother was in the will.

There was a story that she herself was also kidnapped and that they had taken her in a department store. They said kidnappers had taken her in a bathroom and had cut her hair and changed her clothes. I have not had the pleasure of actually hearing that story myself . I do not know the story of how she got away.
Co-worker # 2:

He can not taste anything because his sister gave him ammonia when he was a year and a half and told him it was Mountain Dew and it killed all this taste buds or something. (yes there are PLENTY of incidents were he makes comments about foods he likes, he was even heard by several people one day as he was chewing gum that he didn’t care for it cause it had a strong grape taste)

They said they were teaching their son sign language when he was born. No the child is not deaf. They just wanted to do it. The baby could make the sign for his bottle at 1 month old.

And he has lived everywhere and done everything, I think he is 35 or so.

Nobody in the company can out top these two even if they wanted because any story being told will be topped by one of these people because their situations are always longer, taller and wider.

6

That rings a bell. A Snopesy bell!

7

Fortunately, I’ve never had to work with a BSer who was as bad as described. If I did, I would only grudgingly share the oxygen in the room with them. I have a low tolerance for one-upmanship and attention whores.

AsecretK, I feel sorry for co-worker #1. It sounds to me like her problems stem from high cholesterol. I know, because mine is higher than hers, and, let me tell you, I have had more trouble with… :smiley:

Vlad/Igor

8

I lived next to a pooper when I was little. Timmy. I’ve known two Timmys in my life, one was a liar, the other had ADHD in a bad way.

Timmy.

He was born in China. He was also born in Russia.

Strangely, his mother had never been out of the US.

He owned an M16. No, he wouldn’t show it to us.

His father was a spy for the KGB. This is when I learned what the KGB was (I was three or four).

There were more, but I’d have to ask my mom or my brother. They remember much more.

9

I’ve known a bunch. In spite of it, we’ve all managed to remain friends. :slight_smile:

10

Oh, the stories of Don.

He played for ZZ Top.
He sang with the Statler Brothers.
He used to be a cop.
He used to be a professional bowler. (He was a good bowler, but knew nothing about the PBA.)

Many more that I can’t remember. If he was speaking, it was a lie.

11

NOW do you believe that smoking is bad for you? :wink:

12

Sadly my work life is full of these “First liar doesn’t stand a chance” folks, the all seem to have been incredibly promising young Athletes who decided that they would rather be “Oilfield Trash”, I have never figured out if they should make me Sad or Angry or if I should just laugh at them (laughter is my usual response).

Unclviny

13

I knew one of these guys a few years ago. He knew everything.

We were watching some repairs to the county courthouse one day. A man in a crane basket was removing the spire off the top of the clock tower. Mr Know it all was entertaining the crowd with his knowledge of the spire, how it was solid brass, and weighed over half a ton. Imagine what the crowd thought of the guy in the crane basket when he started back to the ground, holding the spire outside the basket in one hand. Mr. Know it all disappeared.

Strangely enough, it didn’t change a thing with him.