I recently stumbled upon a thread on this forum talking about shit tests, or fitness tests, where a woman “tests” her boyfriend / husband by throwing crap at him and seeing how confident, capable, or “fit” he is.
I must say, this kinda blew my mind a little. Do women really do this? I’ve never heard of this before, but then, I never looked, I guess. And it seems to make sense.
Women out there, do you consciously or unconsciously give fitness tests to your partner?
Initital reaction: ewww and WTF?
I’m not reading through 30 pages of that but the gist I’m getting is some men feel nagged and oppressed and are not only assuming their women fit the stereotypical emotionally manipulative hellbeast profile, they are also generalizing her behavior to all women.
I’m tired of people buying into this nonsense and blaming their shitty relationships on an entire gender.
So if you can take literal shit from her, you can take figurative shit from her? Is that the fucked up logic here?
I haven’t read too far into the linked thread, but it’s all figurative shit. Nagging, henpecking in front of friends, intentional arguments and the suggestion of adultery, that sort of thing. Seeing if the guy is “man enough” to stand up to her, fight for her, whatevs…
I was confused by the OP, too, thinking there was a bathroom gonna need cleaning after this “test”.
I don’t think women intentionally come up with a test to administer to their partner to see how they react. Rather, women are just expressing their desires. If their partner gives in all the time, the woman may lose respect. They will respect a person who stands up and pushes back occasionally.
For some reason, I’m giggling out loud right now, imagining a literal ‘can you take my shit’ test. Poor guy staring at a double-handful of turd and wondering how things got to this point…
(Though, now that I think about it, maybe not a bad thing to do before you commit to having children with him… you don’t want to change all the diapers yourself, after all)
A certain percentage of kinky guys will pass Quercus’ literal shit test with flying colours.
As the figurative test, such manipulative crap would be an instant deal breaker for me. “Oh so you deliberatly tired to wind me up, it’s over.”
Nope. I will evaluate behaviour based on things that happen in the relationship, but I’m not creating scenarios just to test my spouse. For one thing, I don’t have the energy for that kind of bullshit. 
I thought this thread was going to be about uber health nuts who examine their bodily waste for color and texture and number of corn kernals and such…
Whereas I thought it was about exercising so hard you poop yourself.
“Shit test,” you may not be surprised to learn given the delightfully droll choice of metaphor, is actually a term that was either invented or appropriated by the pick-up artist community. Where you hear somebody talking authoritatively about shit tests, you are hearing a student of pick-up artistry. Draw your own conclusions.
Most American women aren’t worth marrying, is the reality. They are simply not going to stick by your side when you lose your job. I dated dozens before I found my current wife, and she is the most loyal woman I know. She’s also intelligent, affectionate, loving, faithful, and frugal, but I’d never have married her unless I was 100% certain of her extreme loyalty.
Fuck women who leave their husband because he loses his job. That is SO immature.
Yeah, I feel like this is the kind of thing that comes with a really immature relationship. I can’t speak for everyone, but in my marriage, life has thrown enough shit at us without me needing to invent more to see how my husband handles it (result: passed with flying colors. Although that sounds kind of gross in a thread entitled “shit test”).
You’ve lost dozens of jobs through the years? :eek:
I can say from experience that at least a couple have. I can also say that, when I was breaking it off because they were such unpleasant people to be with, one of them thought that telling me that it was all a test was going to make everything O.K. again rather than exacerbate the situation.
If you find someone who does it, fly far and fly fast.
No.
Back to our discussion…
Real relationships have random drama brought on all by themselves due to friends, family members, careers, and random lucky and unlucky crap that happens to both parties. If one party is literally making stuff up to “test” the other party, they are quickly going to find they are responsible for ending the relationship in my opinion. If the other party finds out, they will not find it “cute” or “endearing”, but rather manipulative and cruel. Why someone would legitimately try to sabotage their relationship with such a test is beyond me and sounds like stupid advice given by Cosmo or other tabloid directed at hot girls who think their shit doesn’t stink.
I find the whole idea of such a test highly insulting and would question any women who did this for any reason other than an extreme circumstance where the other person was not forthcoming with information in moving a relationship forward. Even then, I would say it is a method of last resort. For example, my (now wife/then girlfriend) didn’t want to talk about finances when we got engaged, so I insisted that we go to counseling to work through her fear. Yes she had debt, but was overly paranoid about it and we worked through it and have since paid it off. I thought the counseling might also surface any other issues, issues but that was her only real problem. Had she refused to go to counseling, I would have found some other way to find out her financial situation before we were married, but I can’t imagine having to resort to some kind of bullshit “test” where I faked financial distress, verbally abused her, or did something else.
I know of at least two marriages that ended exactly because of this kinda crap. Make him miserable and let him “show me” how much he is willing to fight to “prove his love”. As in the women actually ADMITTED (once the man was heading out the door finally) they were pushing the husband’s buttons to “test” him. Of course both of the men said “fuck you” and left post haste ( and these were relatively long marriages with kids and houses and such).
Given that I don’t know the details of a large number of marriages or the actual reason they have failed, given those two and the other marriages I think I know a fair deal about I’d guess about 5 percent give or take a factor of 2 women pull this shit.
Marry in haste, repent at leisure.
I learned this with my first wife, bless her.
billfish678, your “5% give or take a factor of 2” estimate is very close to my long-held belief that somewhere between 5 and 15% of people are assholes.