Shopping channel snark

[Beauty_Taint]

@jsgoddess

I had to check out what was so interesting about the Shopping Channel that made the thread keep popping up. Welcome! Your posts made me laugh, which is admittedly very easy to do but which I appreciate nonetheless!

@Helena330

Between that and the post about the prehensile rectum, I’ve laughed so hard I’m crying.

Had to open the thread to see what was so exciting. I’m very glad I did. Carry on.

Thanks! Glad you’re enjoying the thread. We aims to please. We are enjoying our new friends here, too. Y’all come back now, ya hear?

[Beauty_Taint]

@Suz_at_Large

Our Shawnie-Poo made The Soup this week. A clip of her stream of consciousness babble about a pair of multicolored sandals. I can’t remember all of it; she was riffing about how these sandals remind her of being on vacation somewhere exotic and going into a little leather shop and the shoemaker was back there in a hot stuffy dirty windowless back room working away. Go on, Shawnie, spill your soul. Because the Third World Sweatshop imagery is certain to - enchant viewers into ordering a pair of those sandals in every color? :rolleyes:

I hope Shawn doesn’t go anywhere. She’s more entertaining than even late-stage Patti Reilly. Is Shawn a disturbed psyche acting out, or just a canny performer? I don’t give a PooPouri. I lean toward the opinion that she’s faking it, just letting her mouth run with little editing, and it’s all part of her schtick. She performs on TV and is Miss Fake It Till You Make It. It’s all for attention. The more we snark, the more she wins. We get entertained, she makes good money. It’s all good.

You go ahead and enjoy that skunk head bish all you like! Ehh…not that you need my permission, or anything.

TBH, I’d probably be kind of disappointed if she went away, even though she makes me want to punch my TV. What fun is hate watching, without the hate part? Other than that, she can go suck a dick. Which I’m sure tops the list in the “Skills” section of her resume.

[Coffeecup]

@BrendasChoppers

OMG! Rush to your phones. It’s EvilPay weekend on the Q!
Why lower your prices, when you can con the old, dim and desperate folk into thinking they’re getting a deal by splitting up the too-high price?
It’s going to be Color Day tomorrow. Daaaayvid’s gonna ahem blow from all those new Kitchenaid mixer colors.

Bah humbug, QVC. Just offering more Easy Pays is not that good a deal. I’ve been watching JTV. On Friday they had all silver jewelry marked down 20% for the day. Today’s deal is 15% off any type jewelry (with some exclusions, such as clearance items and their premium priced Vault items). You can get Stretch Pay on most items, but it’s better to get the discount. I bought a ring on the 20% off day, and the shipping was cheap too, only $2.99. For purposes of comparison I looked up a similar sterling ring on Q, same gemstone. The Q ring had Easy Pays, but the shipping was $7.72.

[Suz_at_Large]

@Beauty_Taint

You go ahead and enjoy that skunk head bish all you like! Ehh…not that you need my permission, or anything.

TBH, I’d probably be kind of disappointed if she went away, even though she makes me want to punch my TV. What fun is hate watching, without the hate part? Other than that, she can go suck a dick. Which I’m sure tops the list in the “Skills” section of her resume.

Oh, it’s all hate watch stuff for me, and a little of her goes a loonng way. I like it when The Soup serves up a minute or so of her snarkier moments. And when they are mentioned on innernet forums. Because despite my comments above, actually watching very much of her on TV myself is not high on my list of stuff to do.

[Slow_Moving_Vehicle]

@Lasciel

They’ve apparently been in a terrible place where they’ve had to be all super-nice or get their threads deleted. Sounds hellish. No wonder they’re all nice and sweet and careful.

Give them a bit of time, and I bet we’ll corrupt them all good and proper-like.

Besides, just wait til they discover they can PIT some of that QVC crapola.

I know, it’s like watching that video where the beagles who have spent their lives in an animal-testing lab are released on to grass for the first time.

I thought about inviting Der Trihs and Shodan in to debate religion, to show the Shopping Snarkers just how free they are to speak their minds.

[Beauty_Taint]

@Suz_at_Large

Oh, it’s all hate watch stuff for me, and a little of her goes a loonng way. I like it when The Soup serves up a minute or so of her snarkier moments. And when they are mentioned on innernet forums. Because despite my comments above, actually watching very much of her on TV myself is not high on my list of stuff to do.

Oh, thank Ed! I thought maybe I was losing you to the dark…errr, rather the light side.

Monkey face Chaz is on ATM and sporting “cool” black frames, too. You know, I think I kinda like it. Cause really, who doesn’t like to see a chimp wearing people stuff?

[Tranquil1]

Please, please tell me someone else heard Kirsten use the phrase, “handle with kid hands” instead of kid gloves today!! Too much Chaz and his Namaste hands and terrible ponytail today!

[LipLiner]

Just bought an ostrich leather handbag at TJMaxx. A fraction of LR’s GIGGLY price and nary a smeared ostrich paint spot on the entire bag. Imagine that…what a concept!

[Tranquil1]

@LipLiner

Just bought an ostrich leather handbag at TJMaxx. A fraction of LR’s GIGGLY price and nary a smeared ostrich paint spot on the entire bag. Imagine that…what a concept!

Hope that you have time to “train” it LipLiner.

[Cheesehead]

The resale shop didn’t want my Diane Gilman (new) jeans today!!! But – what??? Isn’t she a Famous Designer!!! :rolleyes:

They didn’t want a Marc Bouwer sweater either, but said it was because it was too short.

[Beauty_Taint]

@Tranquil1

Please, please tell me someone else heard Kirsten use the phrase, “handle with kid hands” instead of kid gloves today!! Too much Chaz and his Namaste hands and terrible ponytail today!

Hmmmm…so how does that work, I wonder? Do you grab a kid’s hands and use yours to force them to handle said object? Or do you have to separate the hands from the body of the child, and use them kind of like a pot holder, or something?

[GrumpyBunny]

@Beauty_Taint

Ah, you must be a guy.

The “stylist” in question is Chaz Dean, or Crotch face, as we often call him. A pseudo-spiritual, namaste hand-folding, simian looking, greasy-haired huckster who has somehow convinced legions of faithful that* not* washing your hair will change your life. As long as you use his over priced bottles of cleansing goop, which doesn’t actually wash your hair but somehow cleans it. As long as you strictly follow his super special complicated regime. Or something.

We are not amongst the legion, obviously. And while we wonder how and why people are buying his special brand of bullshit, he is laughing his crotch face all the way to the bank.

I think that covers it.

Oh, holy moly. I’m sharing that with a friend who HATES Chaz Dean and his take on “co-washing”.

[Klovestoshop]

Does Chaz really think that “do” of his is a good look? And his before models are pathetic especially that gray haired woman, who looks like she stuck her finger in an electric socket. But her after look wasn’t much better as she looked like she rolled in Crisco.

[Cheesehead]

I can’t look at or watch him. He is not a good advertisement for his own product. Plus, I think he is fake. And I hate that QVC is using him for their own profiteering (similar to Bare Minerals and others in the past).

[Beauty_Taint]

@GrumpyBunny

Oh, holy moly. I’m sharing that with a friend who HATES Chaz Dean and his take on “co-washing”.

Cool. I hope they get a kick out of it. Namaste!

[dogncatmom]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been out of town and apparently missed a lot! The closing of one board and opening of another. Thanks for the invite here, I haven’t watched a shopping channel in a week and I can’t say I’ve missed it at all. But I do enjoy the snark.

[Honey]

Lisa is on with bland like sand, OAP Scott and that stupid humidifier.

[Honey]

And now crotch face with his stupid California tucked shirt and off-center belt. Selling that Wen-goop that clogs up everyone’s plumbing.

[Beauty_Taint]

@Honey

Lisa is on with bland like sand, OAP Scott and that stupid humidifier.

Yet another OAP* that makes me wonder how effing bad the rejects were if they picked this friggin’ loser to do the job. :eek:

A boring product being pushed by a boring, weird looking, stilted, awkward, charmless little gnome of a guy with the worst and weirdest looking fake smile in the history of fake smiles. Oooh. Let me rush to place my order!

*OAP = On Air Personality aka the product vendor’s on air sales rep.

[running_coach]

@Beauty_Taint

Yet another OAP* that makes me wonder how effing bad the rejects were if they picked this friggin’ loser to do the job. :eek:

A boring product being pushed by a boring, weird looking, stilted, awkward, charmless little gnome of a guy with the worst and weirdest looking fake smile in the history of fake smiles. Oooh. Let me rush to place my order!

*OAP = On Air Personality aka the product vendor’s on air sales rep.

It would actually be rather cool if they had Gollum selling jewelry.