I would say no, because there’s one of two things going on. Either the kid is just using the hamster’s death as an excuse to miss school, in which case I’m in the “take a day off if you really want to, but don’t BS me about it” camp. Or, the kid is really broken up over the hamster, in which case I think they need to learn to handle their emotions a little better, or they are going to be a basket case going through life. I think Mr. Bus Guy’s example of his wife staying home for a day after their cat died is completely reasonable…they’d had the cat for 20 years, after all, and it was a cat, not a hamster. But if the hamster death requires a day off, what would the death of a 20-year old cat call for? A week? At some point, you need to suck it up.
Absolutely not. On the other hand, I have co-workers that have:
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Taken a week off when one of their 7 cats died.
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Taken up a collection for a Sales rep (on the opposite coast) when his dog passed away. I asked this person why didn’t I rate a sympathy card when my own Grandmother died. “Well, he had his dog for over 15 years, you know.”
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Taken the next day off after an emergency visit to the vet the afternoon before.
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Take two days off, after their cat was the victim of a hit and run. They justified it by saying they “spent a lot of personal time volunteering at animal shelters”.
Not that I’m putting down anyone that feels a genuine sense of loss when a pet croaks.
Just sayin’.
But why is it a bogus excuse? I’m an honest-to-god adult and I love my hamster (she’s my first pet). When she dies I imagine I’ll be pretty broken up about it.
Without reading any of the other replies…
No.
None.
Now off to see what the other opinions are.
Depends on the person. Having to be around a bunch of people when I’m upset is the last thing I need.
I thought about this. Maybe, but I had enough of having other people see me cry. I like to keep my grief to myself these days.
Besides, grief - even grief for something like this - is highly personal, IMO.
I totally agree that if he is a serious student, let him take a personal day. 16 is about a sophomore or junior in high school, by that point I think plenty of kids do in fact care about their grades, and understand that taking a day off means missing lectures and playing catch-up. If he understands the consequences but still just doesn’t want to go in, what’s the harm in missing just one day? School is about learning and being part of a community, its not about punching a clock.
I would put the limit at one day, though. If he’s asking for more than that, I actually would wonder if he’s going thru some depression right now. Maybe he’s hit a rough patch and the hamster was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Mine is no. I think an important part of social maturity is to gain a sense of proportion. If the death of a hamster warrants a day out of school, then the death of an uncle should warrant a week or more (or something, however that would be quantified). I just think I wouldn’t want my child entering the working world a few years from now expecting to get the day off because his hamster died.
Y’all can’t be serious, right? School is too important to miss a day?
Okay, a hampster might be a bit much. Goldfish, way too much. Cat or dog, sure. I guess the best way for me to describe it is if it’s not in a cage, runs around the house and interacts with family, taking a day off is fine in my book. If it lives in a cage or under water, not so much (okay, other than your 27 year old Macaw if you’re so inclinded, but i don’t like birds).
When I was young, my father used to pull me out of school occasionally. I shudder to think anything I would have missed in school that day would have been mre important then going out fishing with my father. You can always catch up, or read it later. Assuming they do well in school.
I won’t say never, because context changes things. In general, though, I would probably think that a 16-year old is old enough to start sucking it up. Life is full of hard knocks, almost all of which are worse than the death of a hamster. Sixteen is old enough to learn that, if you don’t know it already.
I’d say yes. My parents were fine with me taking a “mental health day” as often as I wanted to. I kept my grades up, didn’t abuse it, and it was fine. Heck, I may have taken days off after pet deaths (I don’t actually rememer). Some people get way more attached than others, and it’s possible that it’s just one more thing to an already stressed out kid.
Was there a test that day? An oral report? An econ presentation? In other words, are we sure it wasn’t a case of…MURDER!?!?!?!. :eek:
Sure, if the kid seems really broken up about it and attendance is generally good. Now, if the PSATs were that day, I would tell the kid to buck up, but day-to-day school is not so all-fired important that you must attend come hell or high water.
Grief is an emotion we all have to deal with in our lives, and allowing your kid to take a day to grieve for a life lost–even if it might seem silly to other people–is kind and compassionate.
I depends. If the hamster was found dead in it’s cage minutes before the child was about the leave, and the child is upsett and crying, than any real value of going to school is lost. I’d let that kid stay home for at least the first class or two, to calm down.
Then again, I think should be alowed to stay home. If a child of that age seriously does not want to go to school, there might something wrong with either the child or the school.
I’m the wrong person to ask. I never saw the point of keeping cage pets anyway.
It sets a bad precedent. By high school you are not just learning academic stuff, you are also training to be a member of the workforce. Having approval to take a day off for a pet dying when you are 16 is going to lead to believing that’s acceptable, which it is not.
I don’t know about the school where this 16 year old is going to, but I know around here unexcused absences are a big deal which can seriously effect your grades, and a dying hamster is not an excuse for an absence. Is the parent in this situation intending to cover for the kid by writing them a note saying they were sick, or do they intend to treat this just like any other unexcused absence, which may result in missing assignments and not being allowed to make up for it, disciplinary action, or reduced grades? I can kinda see telling a kid “If you want to take a day off for a dead hamster, feel free but be willing to learn the consequences”, but if the parent intends to lie for their kid this is definitely a very bad idea.
Why not? I don’t have to give a reason for why I call in sick at work and if I have sick days available what difference does it make? And teens don’t even get excused sick days at school (although they should).
If the 16 year old is asking permission, I’d assume a note to excuse the absense was implied.
“It’s a little childish and stupid, but then again, so is high school.”
If you do the Viking thing, go all out - with a boat carved out of a milk carton, and beer pour out for the Hamster Gods, and Songs of Hamster Praise, and lots of lighter fluid.
No fucking way, unless the reason for keeping him out of school to seek some counselling to figure out why he is so broken up over a dead rat.
I cannot imagine any scenario where a well-balanced kid should be sufficiently distraught over a hamster’s death as to warrant missing a single day of school. If he is unable to attend school because his rat died, then he is obviously emotionally ill-suited to have a pet. And if he thinks a rat’s death is sufficient reason to avoid his obligations, then he needs a tall glass of wake-up-and-welcome-to-the-real-world. WTF is he gonna do when something truly significant happens? Like maybe the store discontinues selling his favorite brand of cereal, or a TV show decides to write-off his favorite character?
I’m trying to remember if my kids took off of grade school when their grandparents died, other than the funerals. ISTR that we gave them the option, but they preferred to go to school.
Allowing the kid to take off school for a dead rodent encourages him to expect the world will tolerate and enable his excessive sensitivity.
I don’t care how good of a student a kid is, they don’t get to take “personal days.” Christ, they have enough in-service days, late arrivals, various holidays, winterand spring breaks, and the whole summer off.
My thought is that if the kid is willing to explain to his/her friends the next day that they missed school cause their hamster died, then go for it. Just be aware that they will probably play it off to friends like it was an excuse, and the parent will have a reputation cemented as an incredible softie who will let the kid get away with anything. This reputation may cause problems later.
Also, the people in the office would probably appreciate it. They always like a good laugh.
The situation may be different if it were a durable pet, like dog/cat/horse/ferret/bunny, but hamsters fall into the goldfish category.