Oddly enough, both my hamster and a grandparent died within the same week. I was younger than 16, but remember being more distraught over the death of the former than the latter.
Although it embarrasses me to admit this, when I was 16 I took a day off from school when John Lennon died. I was a huge Beatles fan, loved John more than anything, and I was just devastated. My mom told me to go back to bed.
Of course, I was a total nerd, never missed school, and was a good student. Missing one day of school didn’t hurt anything and it made me feel better. I don’t see any harm in missing a day because a pet died. Hell, at least she knew her hamster; I can’t say the same thing for me and John.
That’s so funny…I was in 8th grade, and equally devastated, but my mom never would have considered letting me stay home. I’m kind of glad about that, now, because I don’t think it would have been good for me to wallow in adolescent misery. But that’s just me…I tended to be overdramatic, and I think my mom was trying to rein that in a little.
Yeah, I guess I didn’t really take that into account in my previous answer. I’ve never had a hamster.
I still say if a good kid wants to take a mental health day once in a while (say, once or twice a year) it’s okay by me. Heck, I’ve let my daughter stay home before for having a particularly ferocious zit! She’s on the honor roll and doesn’t abuse her skip-day privileges.
When I was a teenager I took days off too, my mom just didn’t know about them.
I would like to know how the hamster died. Was it just his/her time, or was it a senseless death? Had the hamster been ill or injured lately and expired due to it’s illness or injuries? Was it eaten or “played with” by the family cat or dog? Did someone sit down in the wrong spot at the wrong time? Did it get sucked up in the vaccum cleaner?
My thing with that is, you can realize that the thing you’re upset about is really lame and not worth crying over, but recognizing this doesn’t change the fact that you’re really upset and crying.
I guess I see “I need to take a day off because my hamster died” as a way of saying “Just trust me that it’s not worth it to go to school today”, and people are different about what they think about the latter. As already stated, it of course depends on the kid. Personally, I think that a 16 year old who still needs his mom to tell him to go to school every day is more worrisome than a kid who was too attached to his hamster.
I was actually thinking along these lines the other day… and I realize I’m probably going to be all messed up when Paul McCartney passes away. So I know the feeling…
I’ve never missed work/school because of a pet death, and I’m a crazy-mad animal-loving freak*. But I’m afraid I agree with **MGB ** here. If it’s really that upsetting to the kid, and it won’t cause major repercussions to miss schol for ONE day, then I’d allow it.
*Get your mind out of the gutter–not that kind of animal-loving freak. 
I’m divided.
On one hand, I have little tolerance for those at work who miss because “oh my God I have a hangnail” - every little thing becomes an excuse for another day off…and when they lose their job its SO UNFAIR. And I wouldn’t want my kid to become one of those people. Bosses are seldom sympathetic to “my hamster died” and not everyone is fortunate enough to work in a job where they can just blow off a day.
On the other hand, if a kid was really upset - it seems like blowing off a day wouldn’t be that harmful.
But at sixteen I’d be worried about that much excessive sensitivity. I can see a six year old needing to miss school because the hamster died - but a sixteen year old? Time to get a little perspective.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
I’d say now would probably be a good time to start putting the responsibility for the choice on the 16 year old. That’s what my parents did at that age. I could choose not to go (within reason), but it was all on me if I ran into trouble.
Ding! Ladies and gentlemen we have the winner.
I’m going to have to agree with this. It’s not that I don’t think the death of a pet, even a hamster, is that important. But it’s also important for kids to develop a sense of perspective, and not assume they are entitled to a mental health day just because something bad happened in their life. I think adolescence is all about preparation for adulthood. Getting a day off would, in my mind, represent a step backwards in this process rather than a step forward.
My feelings on this are mixed.
I can see the sense in sending the kid to school because that’s the way the adult world works. On the other hand, if you REALLY want to show the kid how the adult working environment will treat him/her, take advantage of the time that the kid is grieving and too distracted to fight back to cut the kid’s allowance permanently, and reassign him/her to the chores nobody wants. Use a phrase like “economic realities” and fake like you deserve your own fat paycheck.
My own experience with this is that I went to work (as an adult) the day after our all-time favorite pet was killed in a freak accident. I told no one and tried to carry on as if everything was normal.
The company I was temping for called my agency and asked them not to send me back – I lost the assignment because they thought I was a bad worker.
In that particular case I’d have been substantially better off staying home and pretending to have a runny nose.
Sailboat
I vote yes. My then-boyfriend-now-fiance would skip school all the time so we could make out - seems the life of a childhood pet is worth a bit more than that, especially if it’s the first pet that’s carked it. It didn’t hurt his grades, didn’t hurt his work ethic, and he’s making bucketloads of money now. If our cat died tomorrow he’d probably take a day off; people take days off work for all kinds of stupid reasons - the weather is too nice to spend inside, they drank too much the day before, they want to stand in line for hours to get their PS3, etc.
For a hamster, I guess it would depend on when the death occurred. If the hamster died the previous evening, then no, I think a 16 year old would have had enough time to come to terms with it. If, OTOH, the hamster was discovered dead in the morning before school, then I can understand that the immediate emotional impact, plus trying to make it to school and dealing with that, might just be too much. Even if it only takes a short amount of time to grieve, it’s still just bad timing, and perhaps it’s better to just take it easy than to stress about getting through a normal work day.
That said, I’ve only ever had cats and dogs, and only one dog died (the cats have disappeared, but it usually takes a couple of days of realising they’ve gone outside and never came back, so in a way, it’s less traumatic!) In the case of the dog, it was a he-was-fine-now-he’s-dead situation, in less than 16 hours, complete with very frightening and bizarre symptoms, rushing him to the vet hospital (45 mins away) and ending in a 2am phone call with the news that he’d passed away. My sister, who was much more attached to the dog than anyone else, was inconsolable, and definitely didn’t go to school the next day. I think my mom may have stayed home with her, or my cousin (same age) did? My brother and I only went to school because we each had exams that day - just having been up all night listening to my sister cry was enough to make me stay home, even without the grief over that dog!
My sister would have been about 15 or so then. That dog had hip dysplaisia, and other leg/joint problems. For a young girl who found out she had arthritis at age 12… well, that dog shared her daily pain, in a way. Her grief was understandable. We got another dog 3 days later, since she kept kidnapping the neighbours dog and taking him for walks! She still has that second dog.
Yes and one day is sufficient.
When John Bonham died I took the day off. My Dad didn’t understand it, but let me anyway.
Teens are emo like that. No sense in turning them cynical before their time.
Depending on how the pet died, I’d say maybe up to two days. (The same for any pet that dies.) Grownups take time off work when beloved pets die, a kid deserves some time to make sense of things so they can move on.
Right, but if you take a sick day off at work it’s because you’re sick. You wouldn’t take a sick day off of work if you’re not sick.
I wouldn’t? Oh… um… yeah! I wouldn’t ever do that!