Should a 5 year old get to pick out his own glasses?

We just found out my son(just turned five) needs glasses to correct for an astigmatism in his right eye.
We looked at the 50 or so choices for frames for a LONG time. He was adament about wanting some cherry red, pink and orange frames. Not only wouldn’t I have picked that color, but I didn’t care for the shape. The hubby is totally fine with whatever Jr. wants. I am actually not sure and haven’t ordered them yet. I want him to wear the darn things, but am not sure I can live with what he has chosen. He may look like a cartoon character in them!

They look sort of like THESE.

They are the same shape, but the ones he wants are a more clear cherry red, with a pink inner layer, and an orange layer on the inside.

I am stumped.
In my day, my parents(mainly dad) would have picked the cheapest pair and told us to WEAR them, if we liked them or not!

The price on what he wants is the same as the ones I liked, (in gold) so that isn’t an issue.

FYI,my kid sort of looks like Ralphie from “A Christmas Story”. But we won’t be getting the Ralphie type glasses to further that look.

He should certainly have input on something he’ll wear every day, but he might not know that picking those colors will get him a bunch of teasing.

I would like to see hubby wearing the red, orange, and pink ones. :smiley:

I was 7 when I picked out my first pair, and as I recall I did have some say. So did my niece (same age), but hers are a cute red and look good on her.

Did he try on the red pair? (And was he willing to try on others?) Maybe he won’t look so bad in them. At least you’ve missed out on school pictures for this year . . . and he will eventually grow out of them.

I assume you’ve told him that he’ll have to wear them every day for a long, long time?

Could you tell him they’re girl glasses and have cooties?

I’m stumped too. This isn’t like letting him wear something dorky to school one day!

The ones he wants look more substantial. I break thin frames all the time. I think he is right.

You could just always say that if he picks, it’s permanent and no matter if he decides tomorrow or two months from now that he doesn’t like them, he’s still stuck with his choice.

Putting that kind of gravity behind the situation may help the path (for either you or him) become clearer. :slight_smile:

Yes he tried them on, over and over, and cried a little when we left without them. He did try all the other ones on for me too, but said, “Yuck, these are weird”, to every pair that weren’t the RED ones!

He doesn’t get the girl/boy thing all that much yet, which I really don’t mind. I usually get my glasses off the mens rack BTW, so I am not one to judge there.

And yes I thought he looked REALLY cute in them, but who am I to judge. I think he looks cute with snot running down his face.

I’m torn. At 5 years old, my first reaction is to say no he can’t pick his glasses. But then again, at this age, any teasing will probably be forgotten quickly. I think LensCrafters has a 30 exchange policy. If I understand it correctly, they will change your glasses if you aren’t happy with them for up to 30 days. Also ask the technician that takes your order if the lenses could possibly be re-done to fit in another set of frames if you aren’t happy with the ones your son picks out. He’s adorable BTW.

ETA: Aww it sounds like he really knows what he wants and is pretty committed to them already. I say get them.

I thought about that, and I am a little worried about possible teasing.
But at age 5, in his 4K class, there isn’t much teasing of any kind going on yet. That seems to come on a little stronger by 2nd or 3rd grade. Maybe I am wrong though.
He does have 3 classmates with glasses, 2 boys and one girl. They all have pretty standard issue glasses. My son has like this one kid with glasses since day one, JUST because of the glasses I think!

Having been the kid who had to wear whatever glasses got picked for him… I say let him have the choice. You’ve found an acceptable range of affordable eyewear and he has his favorite. Go with the flow on this one.

Ya know, at age 5 he’s not likely to be teased too much for “girl” glasses - and if he really likes them, I’d say go for it.

Aside: As a parent of 2 kids with glasses, if they offer a warranty for a small extra cost, TAKE IT. My kids have each had at least 2 complete frame replacements plus numerous repairs. One single frame replacement would be more than all the warranty fees (9 bucks per pair per year) we’ve spent so far.

Telling a kid not to wear a certain color because kids might tease him could backfire, though, couldn’t it? If they teased him for wearing glasses period, you wouldn’t tell him to to wear glasses…so…yeah.

I think my parents let me choose mine when I was around that age. Well, I first started around six but close enough. I chose blue frames at one point.

Your son’s absolutely adorable.

I didn’t think of that first pair as girl glasses. I think they’re cool. What’s more important, he likes them, which means he’ll wear them. Maybe he’ll start a trend.

If his prescription changes as frequently as mine did, he’ll be ready for another pair in a year or so anyway.

My first frames flesh-colored plastic, probably the cheapest frame in the place. But in 1954, I don’t think anybody had nice-looking frames.

That’s not even the cutest picture of him IMHO. And in live action he’s something else entirely. :smiley:

First, I want to say that you have an absolutely adorable kid! (My unique and perhaps innocent worldview dictates that it is not at all creepy to say a stranger’s five year old is cute)

That being said, I agree that he should be allowed to wear what he wants to wear. When I was a tyke of that age, I was allowed to pick out my own clothing, which meant I sometimes wore some goofy clothes, but, hey, I was five. I don’t think I even started caring about what clothes I wore until late in Jr. High, I wore what I thought was cool, damn public opinion.

If you buy him glasses that he does not like, you may have trouble in the future getting him to wear them. My problem when I started wearing glasses is that I hated how I looked in them period. I remember often “losing” my glasses, much to my mother’s fury.

ETA: Oh, thank goodness, I’m not the only one to compliment strangers’ children

Yes you should let him pick. He is plenty old enough to know what he likes. The wire-frame glasses you chose were dorky, IMO. The red square ones are cool, and are what’s hot right now (on men!) - they’re edgy and hipster. You son is pretty sharp to be able to pick out something that’s cutting edge. Please post pics after he gets them, I’d love to see him in them!

I agree, the ones I like are kind of dorky. They are also the same shape, and style that both the hubby and I have! :smiley: OH well, I am far from hip.

I will definitely post pictures of what he/we choose later on.

Thanks for the compliments everyone. We are happy that he seems to have gotten the best of both of our DNA.

As long as he wears them and they are of similar price, then i see no reason why he shouldn’t pick his own.

Another vote to let the kid pick what he wants to wear. I would explain that he’s going to be stuck with his choice until his prescription changes.

I would compromise on that shape but in a more neutral color. Otherwise I think for the next year you are going to have moments of “let’s wear this shirt grandma sent but oh dear god the glasses don’t match. Again.”

As for the crying when he left without them - well, I know it pulls your heartstrings but he’s old enough to know/learn that crying doesn’t get him what he wants.

PS - he is adorable. My own little perfect hellion is currently testing commitment to the idea that crying won’t get what he wants…

Hell, at age 5, you oughta be glad he isn’t insisting on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle glasses—or whatever cartoon is popular with kids these days.

And glasses matching the shirt? He’s a guy. We don’t care about that stuff.