I agree with the general consensus here: it’s up to the bride and groom.
Personally, I still cringe a bit when I see lots of kids coming in, but to be honest the majority of them have been just fine. I do wish, however, that if a young child or infant does begin screeching, the parents would take them outside.
As I had mentioned in another thread, we had a DIY wedding, with the reception at a local VFW hall. At the time, there weren’t too many children among our family and friends, so we just said to bring them along. While my wife and I were having our first dance, my oldest niece and nephew (sister & brother’s kids, respectively, each about 3 years old) started walking in circles around us. Everybody thought it was the cutest thing; I keep threatening my niece (who is now 21) with the videotape if she ever has a boyfriend.
Why, thank you.
Geez. Children aren’t feral animals to be kept out of the public eye. Of course I’d want them there. Screeching, running around, generally being children and all.
Children at weddings is just fine, **unless they are the bride and groom. 
**
I think it’s the Marks and Mark’s Mommies of the world who make people want to declare events kid-free. You can have that clue stick swinging from a construction crane and they still won’t grow a brain. And ya know, it’s never the parents of well behaved children who act this obstinate.
Whattya gonna do? Say the truth? “We invited Mary and John to bring their children because they’ve been taught some manners, whereas your child routinely disrupts worship services so we’d rather you kept Mark at home.” She’d scream like a big screamy thing. So folks say ‘no kids’, even though some particular young’uns may have been welcome. Blame the Mark’s mommies of the world.:mad:
if my partner and i ever got married (which isnt likely) then id have to opt for a kid free wedding. neither of us are close to our families, they all live in a different country, apart from my parents. so a wedding wouldnt be about family, it would be about ‘us’ and ‘us’ would go insane after the first hour of kids going at it.
ive been to many weddings where kids were welcome, which is totally the couples choice, but we find we tend to go home as soon as is polite. the noise level of children at play just isnt for us.
Will the kids have fun there? That should factor into the decision.
I was dragged to many weddings as a child. I almost never enjoyed myself. It has a lot to do with my placement in the family chronology: always the only one in my age group. Sometimes, I would be left with a relative. That was always fun*. But receptions were rarely any fun at all. No one my age, no one who would talk to me, not allowed to dance, or couldn’t find a partner, no interest in what was happening at all, but forced to stay. And forbidden to cry.
Often, this was because my mom was one of those people who insisted on bringing her kid. She would tell me comforting things like, “There’s nothing for a kid to do here” and “The bride and groom are going to feel bad if you don’t act like you’re having a good time”. I would have had a good time if I’d been somewhere else. No one wanted me, personally, to share in their joy; I shouldn’t have been there.
*One time, my uncle didn’t think he could/should bring his partner to a wedding. The partner was okay with this; it was long ago, when many gays were conditioned into self-effacement. Anyway, my parents knew he was good people (while going along with the “roommate” charade), so they gave him some cash for lunch and a movie, then he French-braided my hair!
Omigod, I would love to have seen that!
Seriously, I would. I love spectacle! You should post it here.
I’m agreeing with the general consensus about it being solely the bride and grooms decision. The only other person who may have any say in the matter, is any people who may be helping to fund the wedding.
If the bride and groom are paying themselves, nobody else has any say, IMO.
Of course it is their RIGHT to have whatever they want.
However, I can’t help but feel that a wedding that places more emphasis on the dress, and the flowers, and the centerpieces, and the cake, and the caterer, etc. and less on what is being celebrated shows a degree of narcissism that bodes ill for the marriage.
What is presumably being celebrated is the birth of a family which will one day nurture the next generation. Without wishing to sound like I’ve seen the Lion King too many times, a wedding is a major point on the great circle of life, and the other points on the circle should be represented also.
IMHO
I think its a good idea.
If you are close to the parents, why not invite their children?
If they are relatives from out of town, who will watch the younguns?
Myself, it wouldn’t matter, I won’t be having any alcohol at my wedding, I’ve alwasy wanted an outdoor Hippie wedding anyway!
This really seems to be a matter of local social convention. Some people come from areas/cultures where kids always attend weddings. In my middle class white bread culture, they do not unless they are tossing rose petals down the aisle or are holding a ring on a pillow. Or are the children of the B&G 
This does not make us adults-only types bitter mean childhaters, as implied on the original Pit thread. Not all ceremonies lend themselves to the presence of young’uns. A few things for B&G’s to consider if they may want to have kids at their wedding:
Location: I know a woman who rented a boat for her wedding. To prevent hourly choruses of “Dylan?! Where’s Dylan?! DYYYYLLAAAANNNN!!! OH MY GOD STOP THE BOAT HE FELL OVERBOARD oh there you are don’t you leave my sight” off shore daycare was arranged and an age limit imposed. If I wed in my dad’s backyard, maximum capacity about 30 tops-sorry kids, love ya, hope you have fun at the sitters. My best friends’ farm, can accomodate a few.
Number of kids anticipated: you may be able to handle 5 or 10 kids but what if the total aggregate number of guest offspring exceeds that? To whom do you say “your kids can’t come”? Establishing an age limit may be a way of dealing with this.
Type of service: 90 minute full Catholic Mass of Christian marriage or 9 minute civil service favored by us godless? Hmm, maybe if you insist all guests take communion, that would weed out the ones too young for first communion? An actual Catholic may want to comment upon this. Would Junior play with a quiet toy or book if it were the former?
Duration of events: is this going to be one of those all day affairs with a four hour hiatus between service and reception where depending on the location of each you may not be able to go home and have a nap or bath in between and must instead wander the streets until the party starts (can you tell this is a peeve?) Will your child handle it as poorly as I do?
Invites: does it read’and family?’ If not, ask the B&G or their parents. If the answer is anything other than “oh,we’d be delighted to have them come!”, they probably won’t be delighted to have them come. If they are trying to politely say ‘no’ take the hint.
A word to the B&G’s- if you do invite kids, make sure there is space for them to play, a few things for them to do, etc etc. They are your guests and you are to provide for their comfort as you are to provide for the grownups’. To parents: if the children are not invited, do not take offence. Either arrange a babysitter or politely decline the invitation. Your kids may be the center of your world but they are not the center of the world.
And don’t be a Mark’s Mommy;)
This might be off-topic, but why do people do this?
You mean besides to drive me nuts? Most common reasons I’ve heard are to allow for post ceremony photography and availability of venues.