Hey Pooka, there was a time when I could have written a very similar OP, I have kinda been where you are in life.
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Certain behaviors that are acceptible in your teens and 20s get downright creepy in your 30s and 40s. The reason is that young people are expected not to know any better and be in the process of figuring shit out. As you start getting up there in age, you start to look like a person who not only can’t figure their shit out, but who really doesn’t want to.
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For me this reflects something universal and important about human nature. It’s easy to criticize that which you don’t understand, and that disdaining the choices of others is, for some, one way of feeling good about their own choices. The truth is that it takes all kinds of people to make a world. There will always be those who value collecting experiences over collecting things. Those who would lie awake at night, if they had not a home and address, while others would be lying awake feeling chained to careers and commitments. Different strokes for different folks. For myself I just could not understand those willing to put off seeing the world until retirement age. That would never do for me. I wanted to roam while I was still young enough to scale a volcano or tolerate an all third class train ride. I was baffled at how anyone was willing to work 50 wks of the year to get 2 wks off, that was just not a bargain I was willing to make when I was young. Some people chafe against the yoke of car payments, credit card debt, mortgages, 9-5. That the majority willingly put on the yoke, changes nothing. I was a square peg and could not, no matter how I tried, get motivated by what seemed to so strongly motivate my peers, or cram myself into that round hole.
My spouse and I spent upward of 15 years traveling, for months at a stretch, through Asia, India, and South America. We never worked in any of those countries, choosing to return home, work, save then hit the road again. We did so until we were well into my forties and his fifties. Like you, we were often told, by people with successful careers, driving BMW’s, who earned triple what we did, that they envied us our lifestyle. Over time, our peers came to view us as poster children for never growing up, no house, no kids, no car, no mortgage, no investments. They comforted themselves by judging us to be lacking the maturity to commit to anything or to go the distance. To be honest, we sort of saw ourselves in similar terms.
But let’s be real, you don’t get to take a ten month holiday in some exotic locale without discipline. Learning to save money takes discipline and is a life skill that will serve you well all of your life. Spreading the $12,000 over those 10 months takes some serious money management skills, but, of course, no one sees that side of it. Learning to live in a cash economy, on a fixed amount isn’t, in reality, as easy as just buying whatever you want. Traveling makes you open and adaptable, you learn life skills that are easily overlooked but that will, I promise you, serve you very well in the future.
Then our last surviving parent suffered a devastating stroke, that left them entirely bedridden and in need of 24 hr care. And our world changed, BAMG, just like that. Suddenly we found ourselves with a life we’d never imagined for ourselves. Hubby became the only wage earner, I because a housefrau/caregiver, we had a dog, a mortgage, lawns to mow, car insurance, etc, etc. Yeah, I’m not going to lie, it was a super challenging change of lifestyle. The highly structured nature of it was a huge struggle for both of us. But we made it work, went with the flow, learned on the fly, skills we’d honed on trips all over the globe.
Suddenly our peer group saw us with new eyes. They were visibly astounded that we did, in fact, possess both the ability and maturity to commit and go the distance. It was a challenge that many, when they’d faced it, proved beyond their reach and they went another way. Just like that we were the object of much admiration, getting some serious props from good people who saw a big change in us. But there was no big change in us, we were exactly the same. Motivation is everything. Taking on all this just to keep up to the pack never interested us.
It’s true, of course that our house is not so nearly close to being paid off as those of our peer group. That doesn’t bother us. And we haven’t taken any long distance trips since we got the house (our caregiving ended, after 6 years, about 2+ years ago), but part of that is we have already reached many of the things that drew us so magnetically.
The balance between freedom and security is delicate in every life, truth be told. Everyone has to find their own pace and balance, like climbing a mountain. It’s also true that retirement for my generation is going to look substantially different from my grandparents. People live longer, want to follow their interests, are more active in their retirement than grandpa was. And it all costs money. It may well be that, the retirement we’ve seen in generations past, will completely disappear but for the exceptionally successful. More and more people are recognizing that retirement may mean continuing to work, part time, consulting, etc.
Having shared this much with you, here is the advice I wish I’d been given much earlier in my life. Save some money, return to your homeland and buy a small house/condo. Do not overreach, something you can rent out, low maintenance, etc. Take the profits of renting (everything over the mortgage) and bank it for 10 months. This is the fund that will cover whatever could crop up or need repair while you’re off wandering. I understand you might have to do a year in your homeland to accomplish this, but it will pay you rich rewards if you can manage it. The property will appreciate in value with the passage of time, the tenant will pay the mortgage building equity for you. Additionally, should your life on the road go totally pearshaped you have a home you can move back to, (60 days to put out the tenant where I am). If you finally decide to marry that Greek Adonis and move to Santorini you can sell it and cash out, start up money for your new island home! If you can manage this you won’t have to worry so much about security for your future. In the end we are benefiting from this exact thing, our home will be our security for our future. We will very likely rent it out and go off traveling for a year, some time in the future. If we’d started at your age, we’d be sitting a little prettier right now. As a young woman perhaps you have family that wants help with things like down payments, let them, it’s going to be very reassuring for them to know you have taken steps towards securing your future.
If we lost everything we owned, tomorrow, and ended up spending our retirement living in a tent, we would still have no regrets, in truth. A more prestigious car, or career, less outstanding mortgage could never, ever, in a million years be more rewarding than to see the sunrise over Machu Picchu (having walked five days through the wilds of Peru on the Inca Trail), or watching the sunset in Bali from my thatched bungalow hammock, ancient temples, friends from all over the world,( I could go on in this vein for days!) etc, etc.
Take it from someone who has it all, with a little planning you can too.
Good points otherwise.
It’s something to consider, anyway.