Try substituting “mature” and “responsible” for “nervous” and see how that parses for you. As I said earlier, there is a good and valid reason why the kind of driving the OP described would in some jurisdictions result in automatic license suspension, vehicle impoundment, and thousands of dollars in fines, and that reason is not because the authorities are silly nervous nellies.
Demonstrating dangerous lawbreaking behavior to a child is not what I would describe as “parenting” in any rational sense of the word.
Seriously. That’s the phrase that I was thinking about when I was pissed at some of the responses in this thread: this “boys will be boys” bullshit is literally a deadly attitude. I never expected someone to come right out and say it.
Teaching a thirteen-year-old that driving 100 mph is a bit of harmless fun is an incredibly piss-poor parenting decision.
Like I said, “boys will be boys” is a phrase that is acceptable when a father/son pair comes back covered in mud and scratches from playing in the mud or camping. Hell, it’s an acceptable phrase to use when you say that your husband and son are down at the closed track, driving a vehicle that is well maintained and inspected for that sort of purpose, at 100+MPH, after receiving training from a certified instructor.
It is not a phrase that excuses rather dangerous behaviors. Dangers that can easily have a great impact on other people that had nothing to do with the boys being boys.(It also does not excuse sexual harassment behaviors, as it is used as or more often.)
Another thought on this. How much do we really trust rental cars? I’ve rented a couple of times, and they were okay, but I don’t know that I would be comfortable pushing something like that if I was not aware of its use and maintenance history, regardless of road conditions.
A thing about speed that people don’t always understand is the v[sup]2[/sup] part. 100 mph has more than twice the energy as 70mph.
Well, best possible outcome is pretty much the same as when my uncle took me at 105mph on the back of his vintage bike (age 22); I got off thinking “Aaahhh!!! That was far too fast, I’m never going to go on the road at that speed again!”
It comes down to, how did Carlin put it? “Everyone driving slower than me is an idiot, and everyone driving faster than me is a maniac.” It really depends on context. There are speed limits in the US of 85mph, so someone doing 90 doesn’t raise much of an eyebrow. My minivan will cruise comfortably at 90-95mph on trips, which is a great testament to “they don’t make them like they used to.” I’m not a muscle car guy but there’s no denying that the alpha chassis Camaros are phenomenal sports cars, and with all of the modern safety features and electronic stability gizmos, I’d bet dollars to donuts that an incident at 103mph in one is more survivable than, say, an incident at 70mph in a 1995 Mondeo. And 103 in the Camaro probably feels about the same as 70 in the Ford. I wouldn’t worry too much about this.
Also, in my experience, when teens start driving they’re terrified of speed. It took me months to get comfortable with highway driving. I don’t think any kind of memory of my dad doing triple digits once would have changed that.
That would be an example of a very poorly thought out risk/benefit calculation.
You have completely left out the likely middle ground, if nothing else, as well as not looking at the best and worst case scenarios of not going to work today.
Can you tell me what the best and worst case scenarios of not driving 103 in a rental car, and if those have nearly the same kinds of consequences of not going to work?
I really don’t think that is the case. You are really underestimating kinetic energy. You are also not taking into account what you can do to other cars on the road.
There are a few roads with an 80 or 85mph speed limit. These speed were determined to be safe by the engineers who built and/or studies the roads. Other cars on these roads are expecting other cars to be traveling at those speeds. Even on these roads, you are still exceeding the limit by nearly 20mph.
You are probably correct that 103 in a camaro “feels” the same as 70 in a ford, but that’s where the danger is. It is NOT the same.
Put it this way. If you are traveling at 103, and another car is traveling at 70, and just as you pull abreast of them, you both see the same obstacle in the road ahead. If the person traveling at 70 barely manages to stop in time, how fast will you be traveling when you hit it? (Hint: It is NOT 33mph.)
And once you had been driving a few months, and were comfortable with highways speeds, well, that 103 can’t be too dangerous either, right?
But most people don’t think that exceeding a speed limit by 20mph is worthy of having a sit down discussion about risk.
Someone not comfortable with traveling more than 55mph on any road could make the same argument about a “maniac” doing 80 in a 70, even though traffic regularly flows at 80 on most major freeways in the US. Doing 15 under everywhere you go would undoubtedly give you a better reaction time for a nightmare scenario where reaction time matters, but even knowing that, most reasonable people still do 5-10 over the speed limit without batting an eye.
Plus, the tires that came on that Mondeo were garbage and it probably didn’t have an advanced ABS setup like the SS, so the modern car does have a tech advantage even in the nightmare “stopping distance” scenario.
I guess my point was that we all build up to speeds at our own comfort level, I don’t remember ever thinking, “Well they’re doing 80 so I guess I can too.” I was limited by my own fear, as are most kids. Sure it only took about a year for me to get comfortable but by that point I was using my own experience, not a memory of my parents driving.
I think it’s fair to say that your experiences are not universal. In my experience, “They can do it, so I can too” is the way most teens think, along with “it can’t happen to me.”
And the idea that we don’t model the behavior of those we see around us is, I think, pretty unusual.
10, sure. 15, maybe. 20 is actually considered reckless op if you get pulled over. If it’s enough excess for the cop and the courts and your insurance to all have a sit down with you about risk, it’s worth having a family discussion.
There is a bit of a difference between 80 and 103.
I usually do around 5 over, sure, sometimes even 10 if conditions are appropriate. I used to drive much much faster. I was young and stupid.
That makes it safer. That doesn’t make it safe to drive at those speeds.
It is not driving by the memory of your parent’s driving. It is driving with the knowledge that your dad does it too, so it must be okay.
It just depends on a lot of things, like whether the Dad has enough experience doing that stuff, knows how to counter swerving, drifting and traction loss, use engine engine braking or rapid downshifting, use of the e-brake/handbrake to his advantage when you lose control etc. Camaro’s can slide at that speed (wrecking the tire tread) and there wouldn’t have been a blowout, most cars use run-flat and tubeless tires these days. If he hasn’t done any of this stuff before or had practice with doing it on a track or even in large empty parking lots (What’s up Costco), then be angry and have a talk with your son and show him some videos of flips and high speed, why he must not do it, why he can and will lose his license and potentially go to prison if he hurts someone etc… That should be as much of a deterrent as you can offer, realistically.
I don’t think it really depends on how experienced Dad is at breaking the law, child endangerment, and reckless driving. Including a bunch of technical-ish information about how to get out of a situation only a total asshole jerk would have been in, in the first place, doesn’t really make it any more dependent, either.
Even if the dad has this experience (and I would guess he doesn’t, as most people don’t. And a good portion of those who do probably do it badly, because people are rubbish at judging their own skills and weighing risk), the 13 year old doesn’t. The OP isn’t about “Is my husband a good driver?” It’s about whether the OP’s husband just exposed their son to unnecessary risk that will set him up for even more extensive risk down the road.
TIL there are lot of people who either aren’t very fun or won’t admit to having done unwise things on occasion.
Yes it was a bad thing to do, but nobody got hurt and dad and son shared an experience. It’s not something I’d recommend but once under the right conditions on an Interstate (limited access highway without driveways/intersections and with little/no traffic (assuming) isn’t the end of the world. The son can experience the speed, respect the risks, and be less curious about speed afterwards.
I was unwise many times in my life. I’m able to see now how incredibly goddamned stupid I was, how lucky I was, and especially how lucky it was that I never hurt anyone.
I expect adult people to grow up, not to justify teen fantasies.
Kind of a hostile response, I wasn’t specifically referring to you. Is what I wrote so crazy that I get multiple WTFs? Same planet, different worlds. :rolleyes:
Of course not, but the OP and some of the responses in this thread reminded me of that.
I never said there weren’t fun things to do other than high-speed joyrides.
People with a holier-than-thou attitude.
“End of the world” is just an expression, it wasn’t a quote.
I suppose it’s pretty hostile–but when you’re implying that folks who disagree with you " aren’t very fun or won’t admit to having done unwise things on occasion," you’re not in a great position to get upset by hostility.
And “end of the world” is an expression used hyperbolically. Dial it back if you don’t want to be eyerolled at yourself.