My parents make me break the speed limit.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I am 17 and learning how to drive (yeah I know I am late, but whatever). And I have ~10-15 hours of driving under my belt. I’ve been driving around mostly on local roads and a tiny bit on mini-highways recently (roads with speed limits up to 45).

My dad is teaching me and he’s a good teacher in general, but he yells* a lot*. He did the same thing when he taught my mom how to drive over 15 years ago, and he says, “Son, I practically didn’t yell at you at all compared to how much I did at Mom.”

I mean he’s doing is job well in general - trying to instill good habits and correct bad ones (such as turning too slowly or yielding improperly), which I am working on. But see most of my family including me sucks at time management and getting ready efficiently (except my dad) so we’re always leaving the house late. So he’s accustomed to continuously driving 15-20 mph over the speed limit.

That’s not the only factor, for since the beginning of my conscious memory, I can recall him always doing that. And throughout my childhood, I always used to be like, “Yay! Go fast!” He’s only gotten 3 speeding tickets in his driving career, which is extremely lucky.

95% of the time he is at least 5 mph over. About 80% of the time he is at least 10 over. And usually he is in the range of 15-20 mph over, as I said earlier. Everyday, there’s a road that’s Speed Limit 25, and he drives like 45 on it. I mean he’s very skilled and has excellent control (I think he only has one accident in history and that wasn’t even due to speeding).

Now with the 30-hour course and everything, I was convinced that I should drive the speed limit, especially in the beginning. I mean it’s cool and fun that my dad speeds, but I thought that I’ll stick to doing the limit. And that was my intention.

They are not making me go super fast or anything, but for example, the speed limit dropped to 25, so I reduced my speed to 25, and my dad starts yelling, “What the hell are you doing??? Are you dead?” I am like, “The speed limit is 25.” He’s like, “You crazy fool - go at least 30!” And I oblige, reluctantly. Even in the rain this was true.

I see where he’s coming from and I understand his point of view. He is sympathizing for the other folks that might be running late. I am not even kidding - even the slowest people on the roads do at least 5 mph over. Mostly, when I drive the speed limit, I get tailgated, like hardcore, and many times even when I am 5 over. He sympathizes with them because as I described earlier, we’re usually running late too as a family. I mean in Drivers Ed, they said, “If you’re being followed too closely, pull over and let the others pass,” so I guess I could start doing that (at least when I am driving on my own and have my license).

Today I was driving back from school with my mom who picked me up and there was a road that was speed limit 25 and so I do 25, and within seconds, cars are lining up behind me and my mom is like, “Dude, go!”

They call me a “90-year-old grandma”. My dad said, “If I was to buy you a sports car, that would be an insult to the that car.”

It’s not news that most people routinely break the speed limit. The average American maintains less than 1 second of following distance (recommended is 3 seconds in ideal condition - which I do my best to maintain).

What I find very peculiar though is how my parents are making me break the speed limit. I was reading blogs where other mothers were talking about their experiences, and they were like, “Even when my son drives the speed limit, that feels really fast!!!” and all sensitive. I thought parents would want their child to drive slowly…yet here I am being pressured to break the speed limit.

2

When I’m operating a vehicle, I fall back on the Federal Aviation Regulations. (Not that I’m ‘flying low’; only I’ve always liked this rule.)

Now, since you don’t have a license yet, you’re not technically ‘pilot in command’ (in aviation terms). But as the operator of the vehicle, using the only set of controls, you’re it.

3

Yeah, I mean I probably won’t be driving my parents around when I have my license. Right now I have a permit, so it’s a different story.

But then I’ll have friends, and they’ll probably be making fun of me and shit. I mean they hold safety in high regard in general; it’s just this speed thing, like they want me doing 5-10 over.

4

In my opinion your parents are being world class dicks. And please tell them I told you that.

The only exception IMO to go faster than the speed limit is when traffic is heavy and and the speed limit is significantly lower than the average group speed. In which case people piling up behind you and trying to get past you and the bottleneck you’ve created makes it more dangerous for everyone, including yourself.

5

Yeah, I mean some of the insults and rhetoric they have been directing towards me (such as calling me a 90-year-old grandma) is because sometimes I am slow at turning…and that can be problematic, like when you’re yielding to oncoming traffic to turn left at a traffic light. The other day, we had a somewhat close call when I was slow making my left turn and this oncoming SUV was going really fast so even though when I started my turn, by the time, I had completed my turn that SUV had passed through the intersection. And my dad got pissed…I mean that’s understandable, but I am just saying…sometimes they’re also referring to my still slightly hesitant and slow yielding and turning skills.

And my little sister plays along with it. Even she’s calling me out now…lol…she makes fun of my driving too and says that when she starts driving, she’s going to be the tailgater, unlike me who is the tailgated.

6

So put your foot down so you don’t have to pu…well, you know.

7

I drive the speed limit or 5mph over. I always make sure I don’t block traffic and adjust speed accordingly.

Now I don’t drive in too many hectic city conditions where people will go 50 in a 35. Though when I do, I keep up with traffic when reasonable and will keep to the right.

I plan my travel accordingly. It takes me 35 minutes on a two lane mountain road to get to work. I give myself 35 minutes to do so (why people can’t plan for this will forever be a mystery to me). Even doing so, I have managed to clock up 4 speeding tickets in my 35 years of driving. I’ve never been involved in any type of accident. Never. None.

That your dad yells at you is an issue, and I think he may be putting you in positions that you are not ready for. Being a good driver takes time, and can’t be forced. The yelling is way, way out of line.

I was one of those that started driving when I was 12. In the country, or on our property/s. Trucks, cars, tractors, motorcycles. It put me in a great position to get my permit by 15 and license when I was 16. I new the vehicles fine. But driving in traffic can be very scary for a while.

That’s OK.

I rarely drive on busy intercity highways. If you don’t know just what you are doing and exactly what exit you might need in a strange city it can be… somewhat overwhelming.

8

One way you could possibly spin this is that for teenagers, speeding tickets are pretty big deals. Have him call up the insurance agent and ask what even a single ticket by a 17 year old male will do to the rates.

I certainly sympathize with your dad, being a bit of an unrepentant speeder myself. Possibly the issue is that your dad, as an old person, thinks speeding tickets aren’t that big of a deal. I have personally averaged probably 1-2 speeding tickets per year over my 20-odd year driving career. Back in the early part of that career, I was verrrrrry close to being uninsurable and my first job was pretty much only to pay my enormous insurance premiums. These days, my driving record looks pretty much exactly the same, but now that I’m old the insurance company doesn’t really care and it maybe costs me an extra hundred bucks or so a year.

So, tell dad you’re erring on the side of conservatism to save him money and promise you’ll start speeding like a maniac when you turn 25.

9

well, I helped (a little) at teaching my younger sister how to drive, and even though I was only 23 at the time I yelled a lot too. Being in a car with a new driver-to-be is extremely stressful; you know that the person driving is unskilled yet you don’t have the ability to take control of the car if things go bad.

5 mph over is nothing. most police officers won’t even bother with you.

15-20 mph over is excessive. 45 in a 25 is being a jerk.

if you’re more comfortable sticking to the speed limit, then do so. just make sure if you’re on a multi-lane road, you stay in the right-most lane. you might still piss other drivers off, but fuck 'em, you don’t know them and they can’t do anything to you.

here’s the thing. in the real world, 30 in a 25 isn’t likely to get you pinched outside of a monitored school zone, but it may make you fail your test. your dad isn’t deciding whether you get your license or not. drive the way you’ve been taught (by your instructors) and the way you’re comfortable.

“Since you’re not buying me a sports car, there’s nothing to insult.”

hell, I’m almost 40 and if I’m driving in a car with my mother in the passenger seat, I can count multiple times where she’s either white-knuckling the door handle or stomping on the non-existent brake pedal.

10

That’s your mistake.

In general, parents do not make good driving instructors for their children – too emotionally close, and prone to yelling & other non-educational methods. (Plus many of them don’t drive all that well themselves.)

Do you have a friend about the same age who is also learning to drive? Trade parents with her – your dad teaches her to drive, her dat teaches you.

11

The gloriously malicious state obviously sets these speed limits just 10% lower than what would be reasonable to be able to stop people and scam them for money!

Your dad is a hero!..

No, I wish it was that simple. He’s obviously a frustrated old man who has been driving his whole life, knows the ins and outs of it and would feel a bit pissed off if he was the one driving behind you.

You need to explain to him that if you don’t learn (almost through muscle memory) to drive lower than the speed limit or just at it then you will not get your license. Tell him he will pay for it! :smiley: TIME AND TIME AGAIN!

12

Of course if you’ve taken the license I would recommend speeding. Unless you feel that you are among those for whom the speed limit was made. Of course always make sure that you adapt your driving style to their way the road is, traffic (for fuck sake don’t driver faster the more traffic there as as per morons advice above) and your physical condition.

I was on a 8 hour drive a few months ago and I started off doing some 170 Km/h (106 mph) and as night came I was doing less than the speed limit. Both because I was tired, it was raining and it was night. I was doing about 10-15 km/h less than everyone else then.

Most people seem to hover around or a little above the speedlimit no matter what and it shows their incompetence.

13

I am mother currently teaching her 16 year old son to drive. One of the things I’m learning is that I am not only teaching the rules of the road, but the unwritten customs of the road.

I am glad the way the learners permit works in my state requires all this supervised time in sharp contrast to my own driver education which left me to learn the unwritten stuff in the school of hard knocks.

One of the unwritten customs of the road, at least in the parts of the US that I drive in, is that traffic frequently goes 5-10 mph faster than the posted speed limit. An important skill for a driver to master is gauging the prevailing speed of traffic and going with the flow. Traffic piling up behind you and multiple cars passing you is a good sign you are going too slow for the traffic conditions.

You will rarely be stopped for speeding if you are in line with the rest of the cars around you.

All that said, 15-20 mph above the speed limit seems more unusual for prevailing flow of traffic speed, though local driving culture may vary. It has always been my understanding that being stopped for speeding 20mph or more above the posted limit can result in a much more serious ticket for reckless driving rather than just speeding.

Certainly your father’s method of yelling and insults doesn’t sound ideal. One method I have learned for dealing with overemotional people is to agree with them and even apologize, but then do exactly what I want anyway.

“You drive like a 90 year old!” I smile as if laughing at myself and say, " I’m sorry. I drive like a 90 year old".

“Speed up!” I gauge traffic and road conditions to be right for the speed I’m going and say “I should speed up!” and keep going the speed that feels right for me.

Good luck, your conscientious and cautious attitude will make you a good driver. Do remember there are unwritten customs of the road to be learned as well as the written rules.

14

You should never drive faster than you feel in control of the car. While your parents are being dickish and are in the wrong, never exceeding the speed limit is not the safest habit either. Traffic generally moves at a speed somewhat faster than the speed limit and the speed that allows you to maintain proper following distance while not passing many others or being passed by many others is generally the safest speed. If you are not yet comfortable driving at this speed, you should drive slower than others until you are, but pedantically insisting on driving the limit while others try to go faster is not the best way to avoid accidents as you might think.
Try talking to your parents about this away from the car, so none of you are stressed out by the driving situation and perhaps they will see reason.

15

Do NOT speed in a school zone. I don’t know where you live but where I live they’re waiting to get you and they do not allow 5 miles over.

Everywhere else, 5 miles is usually okay depending on conditions.

45 in a 25 is a fucking deathwish. Ignore your dad.

16

Two things to bear in mind: first, speed limits are set based on the lowest common denominator. In other words, they’re for old, rattly vans with barely functioning brakes, rather than well-maintained cars.

Second, your parents are jerks. As long as you’re not doing less than the speed limit, and you move out of the left lane for faster vehicles, you’re doing fine.

17

That stuff about speeding be help other people not be late is just pure bullshit. Your dad likes to drive fast. Period. He’s an asshole.

18

Another issue is that if you get used to driving over the limit now, this may come back to bite you when you take your driving test for your licence, as it may be difficult to break the habit, and most examiners here will at least knock serious points off if not fail outright you for even 5mph over.

19

When I was learning in driver’s ed, and for my test, it was expected that your first priority is to drive safely, and that means the speed of traffic. Driving significantly slower than those around you is more dangerous than exceeding the speed limit.

20

Where the hell do people live where 20 over is “the speed of traffic”? Remind me not to go there.