Should I buy an SUV?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’m torn.

On one hand, after living in Denver, under the haze of the city’s infamous brown cloud, stuck in traffic on I-25 and being surrounded by gas-guzzling Ford Excursions on all sides, being shunned on dates because I drove a mere car, and having my manliness caled into question because I didn’t drive an vehicle that adequately reflected the “outdoorsy” Colorado lifestyle, I came to harbor a bit of resentment for the vehicles.

On the other hand, I’m 35, still single, and my Ford Contour (Ford Mondeo for those across the pond) has 106,000 miles on the clock. In a few months, after I buy a house here in Florida, it’ll be time to purchase a new vehcile, or at least a nice used vehicle.

Considering that I have a dog, and that I’ll probably be getting another one, a edan won’t cut it. At first, I was thinking about station wagons – maybe the new Saturn L-series or a Volve V-70. Practical, economical, with car-like handling. Still, they scream “safe,” “dependable” and “borning” – a message that I don’t want to get across, since like I said, I’m 35 and still single.

So … I’m thinking about crossing over to the Dark Side, and dropping 18 or 20 large on a two or three year old SUV. Maybe a Toyota 4Runner, Jeep Grand Cherokee, Land Rover Discovery, or Ford Explorer. There’s the truck-like ride to get past, and the gas mileage, but … well, frankly, I’ve hit a brick wall with the woman thing. I know that, although women claim that the kind of car a man drives isn’t a factor in picking a mate, wheels do really matter. I learned that in Denver – to many of those who weren’t my close friends, owning a mere two wheel drive American-made car was essentially the vehicular equivalent of having inadequate genitalia. I need every little bit of help I can get.

Not related to the “what I look like to women” thing, there’s also the intimidation factor. If I’m driving a truck, people don’t tailgate me, or drive as aggressively around me a when I’m in my car. In the Countour, people are reluctant to let me merge into traffic, I get F350s flying Confederate flags on my tail (even when I’m way above the speed limit in the right lane), and I’m generally trated as if I’m not on the road. Those times I’ve driven a truck or SUV, I’ve never been subject to the harassment of an aggressive driver.

So, please … be honest. Should I get an SUV? If I’m behind the wheel of a Volvo V70 or VW Pasaat wagon, what would a woman be thinking, as compared to my being in the driver’s seat of a 4Runner or Explorer? To those that own SUVs – what are your overall experiences on the road like, as opposed to when you were driving “just a car?”

2

BTW, I apologize in advance for the typos. Gotta’ swap the OmniKey back in …

3

Well, as you said, you’re single, and unless you’re hauling a lot of stuff for a job, do you really need the cargo space? Most SUV are way to much vehicle for the people who drive them(I think the same thing about people who own mini-vans and have less than 5 family members…). Why not get a Jeep Wrangler? They’re 4 wheel drive and uncomfortable, just like the big SUVs. Men who drive SUVs aren’t any more impressive than car drivers, sorry.

4

Can I be the first person to mention fatherjohn?

fatherjohn.

Thank you.

5

If you really must buy a car as a surrogate penis, skip the SUV and just buy a Mercedes.

6

I would recommend against getting an SUV, if all you’re looking for is to score with the chicks (not that I know anything about scoring, mind you). Why not compromise and just get a larger car? Or you can be “really cool” (snicker) and get a (chortle) Aztec (Bwahahahahaha!!!). Heck, go pick up a Ford T-Bird or a Chrysler Sebring or something.

7

I thought women looked at your clothes, not your car…

Keep in mind that as I type this I’m wearing a black t-shirt with paint stains and holes in the armpits, so I may not be an expert on any of this. Then again, I may be, in a backwards kind of way…

8

I should mention that I have neither a car nor a girl.

Perhaps the OP has a point…

9

Fella, if you are 35 and single then I don’t think it has anything to do with the car you drive. Where do you go to meet women? How do you handle relationships? How do you go about selecting potential partners?
If a woman is so shallow as to be impressed by an SUV, then do you really want to try to build a lasting relationship with her? Marriage and lasting relationships aren’t built on appearances. There is a lot more that goes into it.
What? She’s gonna see you tooling down the interstate in your fancy SUV and think “Hey, nice SUV. This is the guy I want to marry and have kids with” and then cause an accident and a twenty car pile up just to meet you?
On the OP:
Barring the surrogate penis argument, there is no use at all for an SUV. Big, poor handling, gas guzzling, high insurance rate piles of crap. I get tickled at people who drive the damned things here. In Germany, an SUV costs as much as a good Mercedes and is driven by pretty much the same class of people. For what? Four wheel drive and these people drive them in downtown Frankfurt and the on autobahn and would have a shit fit if the thing got a speck of dirt on it. Stupid fucks. And if you think gas prices are high in the states, then you ought to try it here - a dollar to the liter, or about $3.90 the gallon. Dumb shits, always bitching about the environment and the high price of gas and driving these monster assed SUVs with leather fucking seats, fer cyrin’ out loud. Mud, offroading, hell just plain driving around on gravel roads? No fucking way.

Forget the SUV, go places to meet nice (but uninhibited and wild) women, and be nice (and uninhibited and wild) with them. Works much better.

10

Isn’t the Aztec the car that’s permanantly associated the “cojugal visit” that whatshisname from SURVIOR had with his Mom?

“I wanna f*ck mommy”…hmmmm. I dunno if that conveys the message that Elmwood wants to send.

Fenris

11

BTW:
34 years old, married, two kids. NO car when I met my wife to be.
My appearance at the time:
Scruffy, nerd looking in worn out blue jeans, a PINK short sleeved shirt, gray slouch hat, maroon leather jacket (didn’t fit, looked like a banana skin with a severe case of fungus and mold,) snaggle toothed (since fixed in three years of orthodontic treatment - braces at 29 years of age.) I am not rich. She most certainly didn’t take up with me because of my income, my apartment, or my (non-existent) car. We got to talking because of a mutual acquaintance, and it went from there.
She later told me that one of the things that attracted her to me was that I sang along at the top of my lungs with the musician in the Irish pub we were in (popular kind of bar in Germany for some strange reason) and was just having a good time with out worrying about things. I can’t sing, either. I have a voice like a frog in a bucket and couldn’t hold a note with a pair of vise-grips. She liked me any way.

Go out, have fun, be nice to strange women. Enjoy yourself, and don’t chase the poor things.

Oh, yeah. Get into the habit of going to the same disco or honky tonk, or whatever. Go there consistently and meet people. Its probably the friend of a friend of an acquaintance you’re looking for.

12

elmwood, elmwood, elmwood…:sigh:

Your dry spell with women has NOTHING to do with what car you drive. I still live in Denver, and shall make a list of coupled men I know: Honda Accord, '96 Ford Escort wagon, Subaru wagon, '84 Ford PU, older Saab 900, VW Jetta, Dodge Stratus, '97 Chevy Silverado, Nissan Maxima, Volvo sedan, older Jeep Cherokee, wheelchair/no car. Rich just traded in his Range Rover for one of those ugly Cadillac SUV’s, and he has been rich, tall & single for the three years I’ve known him. He is single because he is a dweeb - a lovable one, but a dweeb nonetheless. That’s why he doesn’t get dates.

No woman I know really gives a shit whether a guy drives an SUV or not. I’m not sure who called your manliness into question because you weren’t driving the appropriate vehicle; are you sure you interpreted that correctly?

13

To quote Freddie Mercury… “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!”

Lessee… you have stuff to haul around? The Saturn LW series (larger wagons), and the Passat wagon both have more cargo room than a Chevy Blazer or Jeep Cherokee/Gran Cherokee!![sup]*[/sup] They also get better mileage, have lower insurance premiums, cost less, are safer in terms of roll over, weigh less and with the V-6, Mrs. Spritle’s Saturn wagon can merge into ANY beltway traffic here in DC. When I try to merge or change lanes and some prissy bitch in her SUV tries to accelerate I just step on it and move in, often with a barely audible, “‘Scuse me while I V-6 yo’ ass.” And at 25+ mpg, it’s affordable to drive (plus, Saturn upkeep is way cheap).

Living in Florida, I doubt you’ll be worrying about snow. Perhaps you’re going to drive the dunes? OK, consider 4 wheel drive. Going to drive Rt. 70? Trust me, you don’t need the power. You just need some mass if you’re hit by a Grand Marquis :).

  • According to Consumer Reports (perhaps January 2000?). An article comparing mid-size wagons (Saturn, VW Passat, Volvo’s V40 or V70 [can’t remember which] and the Audi something-or-other) put the Passat and Saturn well above the Volvo and Audi in terms of what you get and what you pay for.
14

I’ll jump on the bandwagon and say “No”.

First off, I don’t think 35 year old women are looking for men with ego issues and poor spending habits. In my book at least (and I’m only 21), “safe” and “dependable” arn’t exactly bad things in a guy. “Boring” might be a problem, but SUVs arn’t exactly interesting anymore. Plunk down enough for one of those hip hybrids and I won’t ever think you as boring again.

I say go with the Saturn. They are a good company that makes good cars. If you still want that baddass image, you can paint flames on it (like my honey is doing to his).

15

That is the saddest OP I have ever read. Sad in a pathetic sort of way.

16

Speaking as an SUV driver, I don’t think an SUV will help you get the chicks.

The dog(s) might be a problem, but I think the most visually hip car is the new Beetle. I always notice them on the road – and they’re not scarce around here. Less noticable but more hip in a very subtle way are the hybrids. In one of those you’re helping the environment by not putting out as much pollutants and you’re getting 70mpg. How cool is that?

I’d much rather strap myself into a 911, but my Cherokee is much, much more practical. Not as much fun, but I can carry stuff. (The 911 had room for two people with enough space left over for a verbal message.) Personally, I am not attracted to women who are attracted to the kind of car I drive, what kind of watch I wear or how much money I have in the bank.

17

Boy, you must date some stupid chicks. Even if a woman is going to insist on rating you by your vehicle, what kind of woman insists on SUVs? “Goddamn, Luanne, he’s got the best truck ah’ve seen since I wuz just knee-hah to a grasshopper back in West Virginia! Hoo-Wee!”

A classy lady would look for luxury cars and high-performance sportscars. I like women who like Jaguars. :slight_smile:

Don’t get a Beetle, though; if you’re still driving it in three years when it’s fallen out of fashion you’ll look like a goober. Save up for a fine performance car, at least a midrange BMW. You get quality, decent milage, AND sex appeal. And the dog can fit in the backseat. Your dog doesn’t need an apartment in your car.

But if you must go the utility vehicle route, buy a great big honkin’ van. Not a minivan; a VAN, a panel van. The kind you can airbrush murals on. You’ll be the biggest badass on the road short of actually buying a Freightliner rig.

18

Mort Furd, thank you for restoring my hope.

19

My brother recently traded in his 10 year old small pickup for an SUV to haul his new-born around in. When I asked him why he didn’t get a station wagon or mini-van instead, those being much more practical for his stated purpose and having much mor cargo room, he considered the idea that he would drive one of those ridiculous, and thought it should be obvious why. I still have no idea why transporting a new-born in an SUV, is convenient, but not a mini-van or station-wagon.

In Florida, no one who drives on the road needs an SUV.

20

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by RickJay *
**

Wait, I’ve got it! Go to truck drivers’ school and actually drive a Peterbilt 18-speed fouranaquarter Caterpillar with a turbo the size of one of those silly VWs.

ooooh. ::shivers::

Seriously, elmwood. Buy whatever vehicle you want to drive. Get the latest copy of Motor Trend, there’s a great road test article on luxury sports sedans. I’ve seen a picture of your dog; she doesn’t need a whole Navigator (ugh) to rattle around in. The highest point in Florida is what; 5 feet above sea level? And it never snows. So why would you want 4WD & all the extra insurance you’ll have to pay?

Or get a classic car. I have a '67 Plymouth Fury that I use to haul my two very large dogs around in style, and I get lots of looks in that car. :slight_smile:

IMHO, SUV’s are as staid & boring as minivans. I used to own one & liked it for various practical reasons - I lived up in the mountains, I had large dogs & often carried building supplies. Now living in the city, I roll my eyes at the things. Especially when they have chrome light guards & other macho sillienesses attached. You know the person driving it doesn’t even know how to drive off road. :rolleyes: