Last week I got an email from my sister letting me know that our mother’s son (from a previous marriage), had a close call with death. Evidently he’d had a battle with cancer a few years ago and won. Something popped back up a few weeks ago and there were complications during the surgery that almost killed him.
He was an adult when his widowed mother married my father. When my sister was born, he adored her but by the time I was born, he was married with kids of his own. He’s pretended I don’t exist ever since. Except for that time he needed a big favor.
After my parents divorced, my mother was not physically or mentally able to live by herself. (She’d had mental problems for years, and after her third attempt at killing my father, and several attempts at killing herself, my dad gave up.)
She was hospitalized several times, but after she was released she still couldn’t be left alone. And a live in companion was too costly.
I was asked to live with her. I was in high school at the time. For 5 years I took care of all her needs, sacrificing my own. After the first year, I had to quit school. I couldn’t get a job because she had to be watched constantly. One day I was rescued by a handsome knight in a shiny camaro, my husband . 
Two years ago at my mother’s funeral was the first time I had seen or heard from him, in 18 years. And nothing had changed. He introduced me (and my sister), to his friends, by our names with no mention of our relationship. there was a table with pictures of my mother in various stages of her life, with her kids and grandkids. I was only in one tiny picture from my sister’s wedding. There wasn’t a place for me in the funeral procession. We weren’t invited back to his house after the funeral, like everyone else.
I came across his email address by accident. My first thought was to put it on a spam list. Then I thought about letting him know what an asshole he is. Then I thought I would just let him know how much he hurt me. Now, I’m thinking about telling him I’m sorry he’s been sick, just to see what he says. But if he doesn’t reply, I’ll be hurt. So maybe I shouldn’t say anything.