This is something that my younger sister and I, to say nothing of my mother, have wanted to do for a long time. A little background to explain things is in order:
My older sister hooked up with the father while she was in Georgia with the Air Force. She became pregnant, they decided to get married. They were married, the baby came, typical story so far.
But my sister, to be blunt, is an unspeakable bitch. She turns every relationship into mortal combat. To be fair, some of that is probably my fault, we’re only 18 months apart and she naturally assumed that she would be treated like the “older” child, only to find out that she couldn’t dominate a particularly rambunctious brother (me) so she became a hyper-aggressive control freak with a temper even more explosive than mine. That pretty much set the stage for every relationship she’s ever had. She hooks up with someone, they like her, then she takes a great big shit on them sometime down the road.
Anyway, they went to Europe, she was assigned there and he was already out of the service. Apparently she treated him like trash, he had enough, and while she was at work he took the baby, got on a plane and went home to Iowa, where they remain.
My sister called home in hysterics, and all sorts of things were supposed to happen. None of them did. Apparently hysterics don’t actually mean that the person is going to do anything about it. My sister apparently shrugged her shoulders somewhere along the way and decided that it was a lost cause, making no effort to see her daughter at any time but having plenty of time and money to go see Mickey 3 times a year.
This is a long-standing open wound in my family. My mother still speaks of her granddaughter as if she was a baby, because she missed every part of her life growing up. She is not. She is now 20 years old. As a result, my older sister’s demand that we not contact her until she did (which never happened) is null and void.
So, how do I go about contacting her? It IS family, after all, and we didn’t have anything to do with any of the ill will certain to exist. I’m prepared for anything, including being ignored and/or being told to go pound sand, but I have no idea how to get to that point. I could delegate it to my younger sister who wants to do the same, but that still doesn’t change the essential question, it just puts it on someone else.