Okay, so this set me off on a crazy rabbit trail. Follow me:
Are you familiar at all with the deaf community? My twin brother is married to a woman whose parents are deaf (born deaf). My SIL can hear just fine, but she grew up immersed in the deaf world. In conversations with her, I’m fascinated by the way that the deaf community views itself. In short, most deaf people (and especially those born deaf) do not consider deafness a disability. Many see it almost as a blessing, something that makes them special. It’s also a passport into a vibrant though insular community that outsiders are rarely invited to participate in.
While most communities of disabled people share a certain camaraderie, I’ve never heard of or seen one like the deaf community. I know other wheelchair users, and I appreciate being able to talk about common struggles and triumphs with them. But, “chair user” is not a primary identity to me, even though it’s a big part of my life practically. Given the chance, I would ditch this community sooo fast (no offense). My understanding from my limited experience is that a majority of deaf people just do not feel this way. They are puzzled and even pissed when people assume that deafness is something they “cope” with and that they would prefer to be hearing.
ALL that being said, what do you think a deaf person would make of a “deaf devotee” (if this exists)? Do you think they’d be as skeeved out as I have always been about chair devotees? Or do you think they’d be like, “Duh. Of course, you like that I’m deaf. It’s awesome.”
So why do deaf people think being deaf is awesome, and I don’t think being paralyzed is awesome? Well, obviously my specific situation is pretty involved. But, in terms of how a disability would affect everyday life, I’d think that life would be similar for a paraplegic and a deaf person. Which is to say, a full, independent, employed life is highly probable. Yet the chair user is far less likely to have created a strong, happy identity AS a chair user (and not in spite of being a chair user).
Why is this? Is it just because the deaf community has been fighting this battle a lot longer? Most quadriplegics with injuries as high as mine died within minutes or days of getting hurt as recently as 50 years ago. But deaf people, not unlike the Mormons, seem to have been galvanized by being made outsiders for virtually all of history. Yet no matter how long and how stridently the hearing world tells them that they are disabled, they just thumb their nose to us and continue not being disabled. That’s pretty B.A. (Since meeting my SIL, I’ve often thought that I would love to be an honorary member of this community, but I can’t perform sign language, so I don’t think I could get in).
Warned you it was going to be a rabbit trail. 
But it really got me thinking when you brought up “disability” as an intrinsically negative concept, and I think it informs the way you and I view anyone who would seek us out romantically because they are so strangely “into” this negative thing.
[As a little post-script, I think my brother and his wife initially hit it off so well because they are both people who were exposed to disability at a young age. There’s a stereotype about kids of parents with disabilities having above-average empathy and sensitivity, and I think that could apply to siblings of people with disabilities, too (it definitely describes my twin well). So, in that sense, our disabilities can be a powerful force for good in the lives of the people who love us, as it expands their minds and hearts.]
Um, ok. (and not that leg, either);). She wanted to have the camera focus on my atrophied legs while she stripped down. While I acquiesced and did it, it was truly bizarre. She wasn’t interested in seeing me; my face, my eyes, my upper body that I’ve spent so many hours, days and years toiling to improve. No, she just wanted to see the atrophied remains of what I have no control over. THIS is what turned her on.