I’m in! And I’m secretly hoping that we won’t figure out a way to get me into the co-pilot’s seat. 
LOL. Yes, I can have sex. They didn’t sew me up down there or something when I broke my neck! :eek:
And, just to be clear, what is the difference between me “having sex” and him “having sex with me?” I can’t move my body, but that doesn’t mean guys “do sex to” me or something. I’m an active participant, I assure you.
I can do oral, quite well actually (or so I’m told). And I’m the dream girl who doesn’t mind it, because it’s one of the few things I can actively do during sex, and I like to show off. 
I can also receive oral. I can’t feel it, but if the dude is into it, I don’t mind watching.
I also have a thread going called “Ask the Girl in the Wheelchair,” and I go into quite a bit of detail about sex for me and how I (yes, occasionally) orgasm. But, Cliff’s Notes: I’ve had sex many times, starting when I was 19, and I enjoy it very much. I don’t lubricate well, but that’s what AstroGlide is for. I’ve learned that sex for me needs to include a lot of talking. Not only for the guy’s sake, so he knows I’m into it even though I can’t show it by arching my back off the bed or wrapping my legs around his waist, but also so I know what he’s doing to me anyplace I can’t see.
He was really sweet, really gentle. 
No problems there, though I had to keep reminding him to feed himself, too. And though I was tempted to order the barbecue chicken or split pea soup just to be devilish, I went with a chicken Caesar salad instead.
The biggest thing that separates the deaf from society at large is our (deaf and hearing) inability to communicate with one another effectively. Most deaf people cannot read lips and most people just don’t know how to sign. You can jot notes down with a deaf person but it’s tedious for all parties involved and a tough way to get to know someone.
Because there’s a deaf culture that says it’s not a disability. A culture that has it’s own language, arts, etiquette, etc., etc. that sets them apart from mainstream society. Nothing like that exists for most other people with disabilities so far as I’m aware.
:smack:
She’s a skydiver, why would she want to be inside the airplane…?
Actually, getting out of the airplane is frequently more difficult than getting in. My spouse once got himself into a small airplane but wound up needing 2 people to get him out of it again.
::: goes off to purchase duct tape :::
And I can tell you, it’s made tougher if you can’t gesture with your hands and you have to write with a pen in your mouth. When I met my twin brother’s in-laws, it was really nice to have my SIL there to interpret for us.
And I kind of think deaf people are B.A. for this attitude. “We didn’t want to be a part of your stupid hearing community anyway!” 
My brother has been learning sign over the past couple years, and I’m jealous I can’t be a part of that. Plus, I’ve met at least two hot deaf guys through my SIL, but I think it’s a lost cause…
By any chance, are you deaf? (I’m not hitting on you lol)
Nope. I just have a keen interest in learning about people who aren’t like me. We had a neat thread in Great Debates a few years back about whether or not being deaf was a disability you might want to look for if the subject interests you. I came on the side of disability given a few experiences I’ve had with deaf people over the years.
You right you can.
What’s that? Badass? 'cause, yeah. 
This thread has been just fascinating as all hell. A great open discussion about the human mind and psychology…and with a great first date to boot!
I’m so glad you like it!
Ding ding ding!
Even though I’m a bagger, and bagger shouldn’t be juicers, I’d RESENT the devotee! I want a woman to love ME, not my chair!
I’m glad that you like the dude, and I think it’s kind of cool that everyone’s excited. Obviously I’m about to attempt to harsh everyone’s buzz now that I’ve said that, but 1. you were there, so what the hell do I know and 2. I’m admittedly predisposed to seeing the worst in a dynamic like this one.
Anyway, in the spirit of the question you asked originally, I have to say that this:
is kind of exactly what I would expect an unhealthy sexual attraction to quadriplegic people to sound like. I mean, there are lots of ways I can imagine he’d sound worse, but I don’t think it’s normal to need a woman to be incapable of taking care of herself in order to perform sexually. I’m not sure how everyone else is reading that, but as horrified as he was that you suggested he’d get off on dominating her, it doesn’t seem like very much of a stretch to imagine that if he needs her to be helpless to be stimulated (so much so that if she isn’t, he’ll imagine she is), he’s not going to react very well to her asserting herself. There are different ways that a need to be controlling can manifest itself, and this really seems like one to me. It comes off like a hamhanded metaphor for itself. But maybe this is just me.
Ding ding ding.
This is a study that looks at the shared psychological problem at the root of DPWs. I don’t think devotees are necessarily bad, or dangerous, people; I just think that they suffer from psychological problems (probably sexual in nature as well as others) that will prevent them from being in healthy relationships. And of course, towards the extreme, they can be dangerous.
I HONESTLY had no idea that Umkay posted this same thing earlier in the thread. This makes it look like I was mocking her post or something; I definitely wasn’t. Just a coinky-dink.
This is a fairer look at devotees, IMO. One that takes a critical eye to the study in the above quoted link.
You know, if all Mr. D has done up until this point is fantasize about being in a relationship with a disabled woman he might find the reality isn’t as wonderful as the fantasy.
The warnings about dominance, risk, and creepy boyfriends are appropriate to balance out the good cheer, but domineering men and risk of creeps is something ALL women have to face on the date-and-mate scene, able-bodied or disabled. As umkay is sexually experienced, educated, employed, and not dependent on keeping a relationship with a man in order to remain housed, fed, and cared for she is actually in a better position to avoid and/or extract herself from an abusive/skeevy relationship than some able-bodied women.
Yeah, Mr. D apparently has a kink. Is it a kink that requires his partner to remain dependent or helpless, or is part of the appeal helping someone do and accomplish things? If he makes love to a quad is it just about his orgasm or does he fantasize getting her off, too?
It just strikes me that human sexuality is complicated and varied. One can have a fetish without it being harmful to oneself or others. Or one can be fetish-free yet also a domineering and abusive partner. Sex can be all about the one particular kink or the kink can be an addition to “normal” sex.
Ultimately, the decision is up to umkay, of course, and the young man in question.
I make my disability attractive; my disability doesn’t make me attractive.
I’m sure you do** Ambi**! I endevour to do the same for myself!