There is no such thing. If it’s consensual, enjoyable, and everyone involved is happy with it being filmed, it *cannot *be degrading. The problem is yours, and yours alone, not theirs, or for that matter your daughter’s. You may be happy with your closed mind, but it’s not appropriate to try to close your daughter’s as well.
Are you certain this is always the case? I’m sure often it is, but remember folks do an awful lot of things for money that they neither enjoy, nor are thrilled with the end product of their participation. I’m pretty certain you can feel degraded once in awhile in any number of fully legal service jobs, but shrug it off for the bucks.
I think you need to start a few Tumblrs of your own, so you get a sense of what it is really like and about, so you can actually make an informed and proportional response, be able to have a convincing and enriched discussion, and so that you have and are an example of the contextual model behavior you expect.
It’s all well and good to tell your kids not to text and drive or drink and drive or to use the turn signal. But while it may be good advice, it doesn’t have the same impact hearing it from someone without a license who never drinks or texts.
It also wouldn’t hurt if you subscribe to her Tumblrs. Knowing your Mom sees what you are posting is the best way to really get the idea across to teens what it means to have a public online identity.
And just telling someone not to do something is almost never helpful except in seriously urgent contexts. Your job is not to deride and negate, but to correct. This means giving better or healthier alternatives. For example, instead of saying porn is bad, talk to her about ways of expressing her feelings and curiosity about sexuality that are healthier. Talk from personal experience.
I like this approach. “Oh no, darling, post whatever you like. I look forward to reading it!”
I agree, but I was responding to the claim that it would have been degrading even if the women asked for it and liked it. It’s that close minded attitude that’s the problem.
I would say, if it’s consensual, it doesn’t matter if it’s degrading, but I think I agree with the general point.
Right, I’m getting a strong sense that some of the reaction is based on ignorance of Tumblr, which leads to assuming the worst.
I suspect, though, that there is a vocal contingent (on this thread, in the world) with a philosophy of parenting that differs drastically from mine, people who believe that the first if not only duty of parents is to protect their children. And I think that’s important, but not primary.
I don’t think that doing something you hate because you are paid for it and need the money truly qualifies as consensual. Economic coercion is still coercion.
This isn’t at all what I was getting at. Let me spell it out for you.
Who is the audience for a porn ad? Given that most porn ads are on other porn websites (or search engines after you’ve searched for porn), the audience is, let’s say, 75% people who want to watch porn, 10% people who want to watch extreme porn, 15% people who don’t want to watch porn.
If every website markets itself as extreme, which they do, nobody can step back and just start promoting ordinary porn again, because they will lose that 10%. The 75% “ordinary” porn watchers know from experience that most of the extreme-content ads have relatively humdrum material behind them, so, they are not deterred by every website marketing themselves as extreme.
If you’re writing ads and you don’t pay attention to what else is in the market, how it is marketed, or who your audience is, you will get buried. I’m not here to split hairs about how much degrading porn there is and how degrading it is. I’m just saying advertising isn’t a good barometer for that because the competitive mechanism pushes advertisers to extremes regardless of the product. How many soft drinks do you know that actually help you in any sport?
In that case, most people I know are being economically coerced every day when they go to their job.
They are. Our system is designed to coerce a major portion of the population into doing things they’d never do if they had a real choice.
But that dilutes the term to the point where it’s no longer a criticism of porn per se
She’s interested in sex - widen her horizon. Choose a few of books from this list for her.
You are correct, your problem is that you say it like it’s a bad thing. Jobs need to be done, someone has to do them, and if no-one will volunteer to do them some form of coercion is necessary. I personally would prefer economic coercion than the alternatives.
Not that this applies to porn, for two reasons. Firstly, coercing people to have sex is morally dubious, and secondly there’s so much free porn on the internet that clearly plenty of people don’t need economic coercion to make it.
Like get outa bed in the morning?:dubious:
Shut her down, slap her mug, ground her until 2030.