Please tell me that now that you have broken up with him, you have changed all your passwords while you’re waiting for him to find out he’s dumped. Please tell me you are doing this right now. Especially if he knows any passwords for your bank. And don’t say “he’d never do that”. You never thought he’d blow the rent money on hookers, either. Change them before he changes them on you.
I think’s admirable of you, but I don’t think what you did is anywhere close to what he did. It was sneaky, but I think it was a forgivable offense. What he did possibly has life-death consequences, for the both of you.
So please don’t beat yourself up too bad.
Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. I don’t think you would want to continue a relationship with this sleazebag anyway. Would you really want to date a man that would over-pay for hookers and then brag about it?
You can do better and probably will. I’m sure it’s gonna rough for a while, but like others have said, keeping busy will give you less time to brood on it which you may be tempted to do.
Best wishes.
Why would it be a setup/test? My “sent” box doesn’t bold anything as read or unread (hotmail). There’s no way I would be able to tell that someone read my sent messages whatsoever. Inbox is a different matter because read messages would no longer be bolded.
Gmail…
You mean he used to have the passwords, right? 
Hah. I’m with everyone else; there isn’t a scenario in which he’s someone I’d want to spend time with. He’s either a guy who’s spending way too much money on hookers (a spendthrift); a guy who sleeps with prostitutes (a bad bet any way you look at it); a guy who feels like he has to brag to his friends about stuff that never happened (liar); or a guy who knows you snoop and who’s setting up a big gotcha moment (passive-aggressive, immature, etc.).
I do get the whole interconnectedness of family; tough it out, no matter who he sends to talk to you, or what he tells people happened. Just remember that you can’t be with a guy who would treat you that way. Good luck.
Change all your passwords. Right now, in case you haven’t already done so. I don’t know this guy, but he may decide to “get even” when he finds out you have snooped on him.
Another question for you- the “friends” the e-mail was sent to. Are they friends of yours also? Would they warn you that you might be at risk for a STD?
Some of my friends offered up the “last hoo-rah” theory. I don’t know what to make of that explanation…
It might be an explanation but it’s not a justification.
No, these are his friends from school. I havent really met them because theyve been abroad.
Yep. And, by the way, I have agreed with your posts in this thread. You’re not alone in your opinions.
Are you actully saying that you could live with, love, clean up after, and have children with him after that?
I hope not.
Actually, the rates of HIV are not the same for all populations of prostitutes here. Of course, you should always be careful, but HIV rates among Thai prostitutes are much lower among those who cater to Westerners. This is mainly because they are their own free agents – no pimps – and have control over condom use. The government launched a very successful AIDS-awareness campaign among that population. The Thai prostitutes who cater to local men generally have higher rates. These are the ones owned by brothels, sometimes chained to the bed, who have to go with the lowest paid and educated in society, manual laborers and such; THESE are the true sex slaves, they have no choice, and Westerners never encounter these. Part of how I know this is that it’s been widely reported here, but also because my wife has participated in academic studies of this, with her research results published in journals. I’ve certainlt seen HER figures, among others, so I’m not just talking through my hat.
The bar owners I know all insist their girls have their customers wear condoms. Some, like Marc the legendary Frenchman, will fire them if they catch wind they are not.
[QUOTE=elbows]
D’oh :smack:
Who wants to bet he meant 700 baht for two girls?
Sounds a whole lot more likely, no?
[QUOTE]
No, at leat no for Bangkok. That would be absolutely impossible in Bangkok – geez, this is Thailand, NOT Cambodia – but MAYBE upcountry he could find something like that. Where WAS the guy in Thailand anyway? The rock-bottom price that I know of these days for one girl in Bangkok is 700 Baht, and I doubt he would be sufficiently knowledgeable about the city to know where to go to find that, nor would he be a skillful=enough negotiator to get that price (newbies generally are not). 1000-1500 baht would be more like it. (35 baht to the US dollar right now.)
He MIGHT have left off a zero AND meant baht. I could see a newbie paying 3500 baht for a girl, 7000 for two. If the girls know someone is absolutely fresh off the boat, it’s not unusual for the price to go up suddenly. US$700 for two would be flat-out impossible, but 7000 baht for two would be only $200; a fresh farang (Westerner) could be rooked into paying that, thinking it was a deal and not realizing he was being heartily laughed at behind his back.
Well, that’s that then. It’s either a windup for your benefit, or he is a total gullible fool. Sorry to dis your boyfriend, but I find it hard to believe that someone traveling around would not have gotten wind of the normal prices. And for him to have even been quoted such an outrageous price tells me he was considered incredibly gullible. I can’t believe anyone would have had the cajones even to try asking for that amount. This was a windup; he must have phoned his friend and asked him to play along.
Unless this was elsewhere than Thailand. WAS this in Thailand?
In 75 posts I’m amazed that it took around 40 for anyone to point out the risk of STDs including fun stuff like AIDS, and that it’s only been mentioned about twice since that post.
Snooping in somebody else’s email is wrong, but so (IMHO) is going to a hooker. If my g/f was sleeping with prostitutes her ass would be on the curb so fast it’d make her head spin. And I’d probably go to the doctor to get myself checked - if they did it this time who’s to say that they hadn’t been doing it before?
I think you did the right thing by ditching the loser.
$700? I’m female, I have never been to Asia, but even I know that a Thai hooker does not cost $700 dollars. Simple economics, at those prices, guys from the US couldn’t afford those vacations. I think any American male traveling in this region would have figures this out within 5 minutes of getting off the plane, at the latest. I’m inclined to agree that this is a setup or a this guy is too much of an idiot to be wandering around Asia by himself.
No way dude spent $700 for hookers. No way. He’s full of shit, or setting you up. My money is on it. I mean, you can get a pair of good looking hookers on Craigslist in America for less than that price. Lord only knows what you can get in Thailand for $700.
Having now read through the thread properly…
I would have to agree that most probably he had a typo or did some really poor mental math in converting baht to dollars when writing his email. But anyways.
This is a really bad reason to stay with someone. Regardless of what your family might want and how important they are to you, in the end you’re the one who has to spend 100% of her time in your shoes. And if you seem happy, your family and friends will be happy, regardless of what choices you made. So it’s best to just concentrate on making good decisions and living a happy life–not satisfying unrealistic, 2nd hand expectations. Your family wants a perfect life for you, but trying to live up to that is impossible. Trying for it will just burn you out, or force you into living as a hollowed happy mask.
I’ve not been to Thailand, but know plenty of people who have.
US$30 will get a Thai massage with a bunk-up thrown in
$700 is off the scale
The chances of STD are pretty low, he would have to be really crazy not to use a condom, but paying $700 is really crazy …
I’m pretty open minded on the prostitution thing, provided it is not forced on the girls. It is a lot more widespread than many people imagine - and generally pretty harmless. I’m not talking about girls supporting a drug habit.
I don’t approve of the snooping, if one feels that one has the need to snoop then something is very wrong - indiscretions can happen, in which case one needs to do a cost/benefit analysis. Looking for them is like looking for a reason to break up.
In this case I’m not sure that the snooping was malign, but it’s still not a good idea.
Probably you are better breaking up, not necessarily because he is a dork, but because you both sound fairly young, and settling down young can lead to breaking up young.