If you told her you had been diagnosed with herpes, I don’t think you’re morally responsible in any way. She was under no obligation to sleep with you…
If you told her you had been diagnosed with herpes, I don’t think you’re morally responsible in any way.
You can’t be blamed for having herpes, and you told her the truth. She was under no obligation to sleep with you…
Or else, you could send the bill to the woman you got herpes from , who would in turn ask the person who gave her the disease to pay it, etc…
I agree with clairobscur on this one.
I think there’s a good chance that she’s going ballistic on you because she actually got herpes from someone else, and fairly recently to boot. Nine Months with no sign of it is way outside the norm.
Bottom line, it’s her responsibility, not yours.
IANAL, but I have read of some cases in which a person’s agreeing to pay all or part of certain expenses has been taken to mean an admission of liability. I’d be very careful about offering to pay anything.
If you informed the woman you had herpes before you had sex with her, she assumed the risk of having sex with you.
If this was really a case of someone needing help, why would she refuse the less expensive source of medication? That makes no sense at all.
No, I think this girl is trying extort money out of you… hence, she wants you to pay full retail.
Can she prove that it was you who gave her herpes and not this other guy? Or someone else?
Give her nothing. I wouldn’t be surprised if she tries to sue you, in which case, your impulse to help would be seen as an admission of fault.
She isn’t the extortion “type.” She is angry and tends to be passive aggressive. The only way she can show her anger is through asking me for money. It’s also a way to get me to admit that I did it, something I have yet to do. Thanks for the help everyone. You confirmed my own attitudes about this matter.
No. Don’t pay. Just to reinforce what others said. She just started sleeping with someone else… and got a Herpes outbreak? Well thats much more within the reasonable incubation time for an initial outbreak than 9 months.
The fact that she won’t even consider that she got it somewhere else speaks volumes. I suspect the “new guy” has alot to do with it. She doesn’t want to unleash her rage on him so she’s picked you as a target.
And speaking personally, since you were upfront with her and she’s pulling this irrational crap with your father et al, I’d tell her to get bent.
You didn’t give it to her. Until she can rule out any other source. But she doesn’t want to do that. Its apparently easier for her to blame you and attempt to get the meds out of you. And why she doesn’t want cheap meds is also bizarre.
Does it seem like a coincidence that she just happened to get herpes and that you have it too? How common is herpes? She didn’t get it from you, a known source, but she probably got it from a guy she just started dating? How convenient.
What a crock. You are a known carrier. You let her know that you had herpes. Her assumption was that you would make sure that you didn’t give it to her through whatever precautions were necessary. Big mistake on her part and one that she will pay for the rest of her life. If you weren’t about 95% sure you gave it to her then you wouldn’t be so willing to pay and find cheap sources of meds.
Of course she’s upset right now, you have no idea how upset something like this would make me, your life would be hell forever. If the relationship went to the point of sex, then there was probably some deep feelings involved and she trusted you. Forget the incubation period it’s a known fact that nothing is impossible, look at the incubation for HIV virus.
I hope that in the future you are more careful. How many other people have you infected? You should pay for half the cost of the meds for the lady until she gets to the point that she can afford insurance or has a spouse that does. In most states there is at least a one year waiting period on pre-existing conditions.
It would be the human thing to do, knowing that someone in your past pretty much ‘screwed’ you too by infecting you.
What a mess.
IDHHBIWTV(I don’t have herpes but I watch TV) Don’t you watch the drug commercials? They claim 20-5% of adults have it, so it’s pretty damn common, wouldn’t you say? I don’t think that it’s outside the realm of probablity that the woman from the OP could have gotten it from another source.
Nope, sorry I don’t watch TV that much and I wouldn’t put a lot of faith in commercials put out by drug companies pushing their own products. If you can give me a link from the medical community on how common it is that would make a greater impression than commercials on TV.
My question is what is the probability that it is common enough that she contract it from the very NEXT person she dates.
How about this: http://www.utmb.edu/utmbnews/02pr/nov02/herp_vacc.htm
“According to 1997 figures, the most recent statistics available from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 45 million Americans have contracted genital herpes. This means about one in five of all people over age 12 outside jails, prisons, nursing homes and hospitals have the virus technically known as herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2).”
I might have missed him saying how many guys she’d dated in the interim (and it’s entirely possible she’s not telling the whole truth about her sexual encounters), but they had been broken up for nine months.
Thank you. One in five is a high percentage. I’ve learned something today.
Not to mention you can get it from oral to genital contact. And oral HSV is alot more common. Ultress, don’t forget that I too got it from someone - someone whose doctor told them that I probably am just saying I got it from them to cover the fact that I may have given it to her. I also never said Im willing to pay and I hardly think looking for cheap meds on the internet for someone who was once my girlfriend is an admission of guilt.
Something along similar lines … are you sure she even has herpes? Is there a possibility it might just be a way to extort money out of you? (doesn’t seem like a terribly likely possibility, but the way she’s acting definitely makes me thing that something fishy’s going on somewhere)
- You told her you have herpes;
- She had sex with you anyway;
- She is responsible for assuming that risk and in any event;
- It is more likely than not that she got it from someone else!
End of story. Don’t giver her a penny. Consider suing her for what she said to your father as an invasion of privacy, or an intentional infliction of emotional distress.