So we recently rescued some puppies, and have been getting the adopted. Batty went to a nice family with a beagle, and we’ve gotten several inquiries about Moe. I was going to meet a couple to look at him tomorrow, but in the last e-mail she sent she told me that they have another dog, but they don’t think they’re going to keep her because she sheds and tries to get on the couch and bed. Yeah.
So, do I just cancel the apt and tell her we decided to adopt to someone else, or do I explain that we can’t in good conscience give a puppy to someone who would make the above statement?
What drives me nuts about this whole animal rescue thing is it’s kind of zero sum game. If we don’t give this girl our puppy, she’ll get some other puppy and he’ll end up dumped somewhere. It’s depressing.
Anyway, what would you do? Tell her she’s stupid, or be polite?
It really depends if you want to take the extra time and energy to educate someone you don’t even know.
If you don’t have it in you then stop contact or tell them you found another person to adopt and move on with no guilt.
Even taking the time may not do any good anyway, so it really is your call.
If it someone I know personally then I might gently mention how they are wrong by commenting on an article I read or my own past experiance to see how responsive they are to change. If they seem head strong in their own knowledge then I usually let it go.
Damn…those are some cute pups! I would just cease communication with Pinhead Girl. You can’t save the world, but you can keep her from jeopardizing your pups.
I’m also sure she thinks it’s perfectly normal to want to dump a pet who is shedding and using the furniture. Imply that she’s in the wrong, and she’ll just label you as some weirdo animal lover type.
Yeah! I mean, pets are lifestyle accessories, right? And if they don’t work out or your lifestyle changes as fashion dictates, you jettison them, because by the time they’re back in fashion you’ll want a newer one anyway.
I’d express sympathy for her plight, and inform her that the shedding and the climbing, can’t be helped, as all dogs have that pesky habit, even this little rescue. Maybe you can help her take thsi dog off her hands, for a small fee? And then ask her, in a very sympathetic and service-oriented tone, and if she has considered a guinea pig or a cinchilla, kept with two or three in an indoor cage.
I’d let it go because there are people that have a certain mindset that if the animal is in anyway disruptive to your daily life or makes things inconvenient for you, it’s ok to get rid of them. My mom’s the exact same way. And I can tell you right now, any attempt to change their viewpoint will be taken with some hostility and defensiveness. It’s not worth it.
Tell her your puppy has already been adopted, too bad, because the fact that she is thinking of getting rid of her dog shows she knows what she wants and would be a good owner for the next dog.
In other words, DON’T explain what she did wrong or she will simply not mention her outgoing dog on her next attempt, and the next rescue person or shelter will unwittingly let her adopt.
Very few shelters and rescue families will permit an adoption to someone who displays Cruella de Ville tendencies. As long as Pinhed remains clueless she will also be puppy-less.
The chance that a thoughtful explanation will change this couple’s personality is extraorinarily slim.
I DISAGREE with the suggestion to get a chinchilla or guinea pig, though. She sounds like a selfish, shitty pet owner and there’s no reason to inflict that on a poor smaller animal any more than a dog.
I think I’d go with the approach of "You know, every dog is going to shed and climb on furniture… I don’t think the puppy we have is going to be the right pet for you. "
And leave it at that unless you get the feeling that they really are interested in learning more.
An attempt at a little education doesn’t mean that you’re committed to any more pig-singing lessons, and might even do some good.
I’d probably do the first part but not the second part, tell her the puppy has already been adopted out. The danger in telling her the puppy is not for her is that, as others have commented, she may learn what she said wrong and not say it when she tries to adopt a puppy elsewhere and then there will be two dogs in danger of being kicked to the curb when they become inconvenient. In other words, politely comment that all dogs will have the shedding and climbing on furniture problem but as it turns out this puppy is not available anyway. It gives her something to think about but you also aren’t coming out and saying “I’m not giving you this puppy because you’re an idiot.”
Of course you can. The fact that Pinhead Girl would rather hurl her family member into the abyss of animal homelessness than make the effort is what makes her Pinhead Girl.
+1. I think you can make the statement in a form that sounds like it’s about you, even though it’s obviously about her. Like the above, or: “Sorry, we’re not comfortable giving a puppy to someone who would give a dog away for shedding and getting on the furniture.”
You’re not trying to “educate” her, you’re not lecturing her; it’s nothing more than the simple truth.
Heck - I BUY my dog furniture!