I have on occasion found myself sharing a room with someone who snores. Depending on how loud it is, I can sometimes get by with earplugs, but I recently lost an entire night’s sleep because a friend I was traveling with turned out to be one of those chainsaw types. I’m obviously not going to share a room with him again, but I’m wondering if there is or should be a rule of etiquette that you give someone a heads-up about that before going on a trip with them. What say you all?
I’m a Yes, always voter.
In the before times, my small circle of friends used to go on girls’ weekends a few times a year.
The last time ended up with me in tears, renting a separate hotel room (at premium price) around 2am and my sister seriously upset with me. She was the offender. According to her, I ruined her night with my constantly telling her to stop snoring. I had been up since 4am, had a long medical treatment, worked 8 hours, then drove 2 hours to the hotel. I was wiped out and her snoring pushed me over the edge.
Another friend, on a different trip, decided she didn’t need to bring her CPAP, as it was a vacation. That night I slept in my truck.
If we ever do a weekend again, it’s been made clear I will be renting my own room.
What if the person is single? Some people have no idea if they snore since there’s nobody around to hear them. Or in my case, my wife says I occasionally snore. Should I disclose that just to give people a heads up?
Yes, always. I had an occasion on a bike trip where someone came into camp after dark and set-up his tent nearby mine. The guy was a snore monster. I just got out of my tent and dragged it to a far corner of the camp (a spot he coulda used in the first place!). So inconsiderate!
On another trip a guy set-up his tent in the middle of everyone. Nice fellow, and very talkative around the campfire. But as soon as he went to sleep, a nightmare for the rest of us. In all his chattiness, he coulda, ya know, let us know. By dawn a couple of the group were tossing sticks at his tent, and he slept thru that as well. A-hole.
This is me. I’ve been informed by traveling companions that I snore, but prior to being told I honestly had no idea.
I’ve done tours through G Adventures where if you’re traveling solo, they assign you a roommate unless you pay an additional fee for your own room. In those cases I didn’t know who I was rooming with until I got there, so I didn’t really have the opportunity to inform them until I was already there. So I voted “depends” for that reason. I suppose I could inform them on day 1, and maybe the tour leader could change the room assignments if it was really an issue, but that would just mean someone else would be stuck in a room with me snoring.
Tell them they should ask their doc about sleep apnea. Snoring is a risk factor, and this is a nice “I’m concerned about you” way to let them know they snore like a goddam freight train.
If it would seriously bother you to travel with somebody who snores, you should definitely ask them and they should definitely give you an honest answer (if they even know what the answer is).
I have shared rooms with various snorers in my time, although apparently I’m not one myself. I always have a pair of earplugs in my travel kit and can sleep through noise pretty well anyway, so it never really bothered me.
I would not consider that a travel companion had a duty to disclose that information (if they even know it) without having been asked. Same for talkers-in-their-sleep and readers-in-bed and other common infringers of the basic “Silent and Dark” principle with respect to shared sleeping space.
As others, I have been living alone for a long time and didn’t know that I’m a snorer until a travelmate made me conscious of it. I have been a member of a bowling club (well, to be precise, a nine-pin-bowling club, which in fact is very different from bowling, but nobody knows this pastime in the US) for 18 years. We make 4-5 days long trips every two years and always book double rooms. The first partner I was roomed with told me in stern words that he wouldn’t take any of my snoring again on the next trip, so we found a good solution: from the next voyage on, I was paired with the second big snorer of our club, and since then all went well, because we don’t care much about each other snoring.
But yes, since I knew that I was snoring, I would tell everybody about it.
I voted depends, I’m a light snorer at times, and I’ve even been recorded so I know what it sounds like. If you tell me you’re the lightest sleeper ever, I’ll mention it.
If you’re crashing at my apartment because we’ve been out late and Uber is super expensive, then nope.
Mr. RIlch’s friend “Jeff” is an epic snorer. He’d known this for years; I didn’t hear it for myself until we were at his house for the Super Bowl the year there was a power outage. He fell asleep first, and almost drowned out the TV. Mr. Rilch has traveled with him a time or two, and always brings earplugs. Plus, according to him, it’s intermittent, not constant.
I don’t think he was quite justified in being stern about, and telling you he “won’t take,” something you can’t help. Snoring is not lack of consideration, like messing up the bathroom Del Grifith-style, It’s not something you choose to do, so what good is a warning?
Maybe I exaggerated a bit with “stern words”, but I remember that he was really frustrated because he couldn’t get any sleep at all, which I can understand. It was a hiking tour of about 20 kilometres per day, so we all needed a good night’s sleep. He wasn’t really personal about it, and we are still good friends, as we’ve always been.
I’m a snorer – I don’t snore as loudly as I did 20 years ago, when I was considerably heavier, but I still do snore to an extent, and when I’m going to be sharing a room with someone with whom I haven’t done so previously, I always make sure that they know about this.
I do regularly share hotel rooms with friends when I go to gaming conventions. I have one friend, in particular, with whom I frequently wind up sharing a room: he is an exceptionally light sleeper, and even minor disturbances in the room can and will disrupt his sleep.
Personally, I think that, given all of that, he really should think about getting a room to himself when we go to cons, but he is (a) very extroverted, meaning that he really enjoys having roommates to talk with, and (b) he is cheap (he could afford his own room, but he chooses not to). He has finally taken to wearing both earplugs and a night mask when he shares a hotel room with others, but even so, he does tend to complain about snoring (or the sound of another friend’s CPAP machine). He’s just kind of an unhappy person generally, I think.
Yeah, I have found myself sharing a room with somebody I’ve never shared a room with before many times. Last would have been just a couple months ago, when I was shooting a wedding down in Miami with a photographer from Canada I only met once before. I explicitly told him, are you sure you want to share a room – I snore. He was fine with it. Hell – it’s been many many years – but I’ve shared a bed with people I’ve never shared a bed with before (in a non-sexual context.) It happens. I’m not picky about who shares a bed with me, and if you don’t have a problem with it, it’s all good.
I used to be a regular snorer. Since I’ve lost weight I do occasionally snore but it’s not a regular thing. Generally, if someone taps me on the shoulder I’ll roll over and stop snoring.
When I was a regular snorer I would let people know, and offer to sleep away from others if possible. I also always brought earplugs and offered them to anyone who wanted them.
I now carry earplugs for my own use. We backpack and spending the night in a hut with 20-30 other hikers pretty much guarantees that someone will be snoring. In those situations you just need to accept it and plan accordingly.
I voted it depends, since in some situations snoring is unavoidable and letting people know doesn’t matter much.