Should Saturday Night Live Choose the Next President?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I believe that we should forgo democracy and let Saturday Night Live choose the next Presdient. My reasoning that Saturday Night Live is the organization best equipped to evaluate candidates and predict the outcome of their presidency. I base this claim on the successful predictions in a 2008 episode that forecast the Bush presidency. (Transcript is here.)

The skit begins with Bush hiding under his desk and explaining that he won’t face the camera because “they’ll yell at me again.”

Bush under his desk? Check. Bush ducking the camera? Check.

“Hey, America! So, how we all doing out there, huh? Yeah, not so good. I broke the Hoover Dam… we had that war thing happen. But I mean, who ever heard of a Civil War, anyway? What is that? [ grabs a pair of binoculars, unscrews the lens, then pours alcohol from it into his mouth ] I have missed you, ol’ buddy! [ pours it into his barbecue grill ] Whoo! I think we can agree, Americans, that these have been a difficult first two years of my presidency…”

Major American landmark destroyed? Check. Bush causing a civil war? Check. (He’s even told us that the civil war he caused wasn’t such a big deal.)

“Oh, man! I told you, this is hard! Okay, listen… I’m just gonna get this Address thing over with. As we assess the State of the American Union today, we have reason to hope, because… [ takes out a map which shows California and Florida as islands, Texas in Communist Mexico, and the Great Lakes on fire ] Holy crap! When did all this happen?! Wow… the Great Lakes are on fire - even I know that’s not good. [ laughs ] Okay, America, we got a lot of problems. I ain’t gonna lie to you. But with the help of Vice-President Dick Cheney…”

Parts of USA flooded? Check. Reocrd breaking heat across the nation? Check.

Voice of Advisor: You killed him in a hunting accident!

Cheney involved in hunting accident? Check.

George W. Bush: “Okay, fine! Not a problem. 'Cause I’ve been working hard, I got a plan that’s gonna solve all of it - from the deficit, to foreign relations, to that hole in the sun. Two words, America: Ostrich Meat.”

Crazy economic plan that’s supposed to fix everything? Check.

Need I say more?

Some may object that SNL got some details wrong, such as predicting that Cheney would be shot rather than doing the shooting. But even so, their predictions are plainly superior to anyone else’s. Whether this is due to high intelligence, sophisticated technology, or a bargain with the Prince of Darkness, I really can’t say. But what’s clear is that as far as presidential politics, the writers of SNL can read the future. Thus, reason demands that we give them control of the political process.

Who’s with me?

2

It’s probably worth noting that when the OP said “2008 episode”, he (she?) meant either 2000 or 2001, since that’s when the 26th season was, which is what the link cites.

Carry on.

3

I just hope the writers’ strike is resolved soon so SNL can go back to informing me about the candidates.

4

That would be correct.

5

You realize that if SNL were allowed to choose the president, ZZ Top would have won in '84.

6

Considering that SNL, even in their strong years (and this season (at least the few episodes I saw before the writer’ strike) isn’t a strong one) can’t fill about 60 minutes (subtracting time for ads, music, monologue from the run time) with consistently funny comedy, which is their sole reason for existing, I would say no. But if we let the cast of 30 Rock write all presidential speeches for the winner of the next election, at least they’d be amusing.

7

I dunno about SNL, but I think The Onion had a good idea of what a Bush presidency would be like. I’d leave it up to them to decide who would be the most hilarious…I mean, qualified president.

8

Then we could all complain about how the current president isn’t nearly as good as the old presidents were.

9

If SNL were not currently off-air, who would they have playing Barack Obama? Right now, they don’t have any cast members who remotely resemble him.

10

I’d like to see it done American Idol style with a candidate voted off each week. Gravel could have been Sanjaya. Imagine Randy saying “Yo, yo, yo Dawg” to Obama.

11

Didn’t he make a cameo appearance as himself last season (before the strike), when they had other cast members playing all the other candidates?

12

Yes. It’s about 4 minutes into the skit. Maybe, if he doesn’t get the nomination, he could make that a gig full-time. That’ll take the sting out of it for him.

But seriously… who do you think they’d have play him who is on staff right now? They do have white actors playing black people on occasion, (Darrell Hammond as Jesse Jackson), but none of them looks at all like Obama, or at least, it’s hard for me to picture. Any guesses?

13

I think Tim Meadows still writes for the show, and makes a rare appearance on camera. Maybe him?

14

And who can forget the late '91-early '92 SNL skit- “The Race to Be The Man Who Will Lose to George Bush”? IIRC, Clinton wasn’t even in it!

15

Campaign '92: The Race To Avoid Being The Guy Who Loses To Bush - SNL Transcripts Tonight, November of 1991- I got the title a bit wrong (it was Campaign '92: The Race To Avoid Being The Guy Who Loses To Bush).
BUT I was right about Clinton’s absence!

16

Given that Chevy Chase bears no resemblance to Gerald Ford, Darrell Hammond looks nothing like Bill Clinton, and Dana Carvey looks nothing like Bush sr or Ross Perot without heavy makeup, as long as they’ve got a black cast member, they’re in approximately the same range as all the politicians they’ve done before.

17

I’ll bet ZZ Top wouldn’t have sold weapons to Iran to fund the Contras.

18

You left out one of the best parts

Bush famously used the term “hard work” eleven times in a single debate with John Kerry.

19

No way can Kenan Thompson, the only current black cast member, play Barack Obama. He looks less like Obama that, say, Seth Myers does. And they will do black makeup on a white actor to play a black man, so… I guess I’m still wondering which cast member people think will be selected to play him.

Also, I do think that Darrell Hammond looks like Bill Clinton and Dana Carvey wasn’t a big stretch for Ross Perot.

20

Maya Rudolph looks more like Obama than Kenan Thompson does.