When I was a kid, we had a family dog that was shot and paralyzed in his hind legs, and, I’m ashamed to say, my family didn’t put him down until he had dragged his legs around and been ignored in the basement for years. I look back on my parents’ decision now and say “How could you? Couldn’t you see that he had no quality of life at all?” Your kids might not be thrilled with you now, but they will get it when they get older.
I want to chime in about telling kids the truth so you don’t have to maintain a fictional story later. When I was nine or ten I went on a trip with my mom and my dad said my cat had run away. When I got home, I went straight to my friend’s house to ask her to help me look for him. The first thing she said was,“I’m sorry your cat got run over.”
I was devestated. I think it would have been better for my dad to tell me the truth.
Tell them what’s going on, and let them say goodbye. I would do the same for my kids, and in fact, my mother did tell us when my childhood dog George got too sick with kidney problems. I’m glad she did. It won’t be easy, and there will be tears, but you’ll be glad you told them.
Good luck.
Truth, in and of itself is one of the most valuable things I know. Give it to your kids. Tell them.
If they want to come with, to the vets, let them. It will hurt them more if you lie, or leave them home. Being with the dog will let them say “goodbye”. Being alone, at home , when it happens… it would be a nightmare for them, made worse by the fact that you weren’t there.
Tell them the truth. They will appreciate it when they are older. Let them have a special day to say goodbye before you take the dog to the vet. Involve them in the decision - tell them that when you love something, you shouldn’t let it suffer, and that the dog is suffering. Let them agree with you that it would be wrong to make the dog suffer anymore than it already has.
Get them another dog, but not too soon.
Clucky, that’s a rather sad story you tell about your dog. I guess your father was from the “face reality” school of thought. Just a week ago, my Grandfather was telling us the story of how he came home from nightshift one morning, and the family dog was at the back door. When he approached, he said it raised its head and growled at him, and that it had foam around its mouth - so he took it down the yard and held its head in a bucket of water until it drowned.
This story is disturbing enough to me, without taking into consideration that we live in Australia, a country that is free from rabies. What a sad end for a faithful companion - it would have been kinder to shoot the dog than hold it down while it drowned.
Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond. Your thoughts and comments have made this much easier for all of us.
I was not surprised that the consensus was to tell the truth - in fact the vote was unanimous. Frankly, I felt very uncomfortable with the idea of lying to my kids for all of the reasons that have been mentioned here and more, so I was glad to get your confirmation.
Anyway, we put Charley to sleep a few hours ago. We had discussed this with the kids for the past couple of days, and we told them last night that it was time to say goodby. Last night they both thought that they would like to go to the vet with us and be there when Charley died, but today they decided that they would rather play with their friends. It was as though they had been able to fast forward through the whole grief process.
We buried Charley under an oak tree in the back yard along with an old beat up tennis ball. She would like that.
Scarlett67 and Rosebud, I gave her a hug and kiss from each of you.
Thanks again, everyone.