Ah, I get it now Daniel. You’re a Letter Sender, aren’t you?
I don’t know about christmas letters, since there aren’t many of them sent here (apart for children) but I assume they must not be very different from New Year’s Eve letters.
And I never ever received such a letter that included any bragging. Only best wishes for the year to come and such things. So, I always found them rather nice as a way to tell someone you keep him/her in your mind.
No.
And people that complained about it would still be pitiful, unless they don’t have recycling facilities in their town. The stupid mundane shit from your life is no more interesting than the stupid mundane shit from the life of that person who mistakenly considers PunditLisa a friend. The difference is, instead of reading your laments about your mom’s Christmas letters, I scrolled down past them, having determined that they were stupid mundane shit; I didn’t complain about it (except to point out what looks like hypocrisy to me).
Daniel
Thanks Lezlers for beating me to the punch by that…much.
Given that you’re both wrong, don’t wear yourself out in thanks :).
Truth is, I get about two letters a year. One is from a friend, who draws beautiful and hilarious letterhead for the letter and fills it with wry observations in the blandly sunny style that’s de rigueur for the genre. The other is from an uncle whom I only get to see once a year, and it keeps me up to date on what’s going on with him, his wife, and their four awesome kids. I appreciate getting both of them; and if they sometimes brag, who cares? Why on earth would I let someone’s bragging get under my skin? I’m secure in who I am, I’m not a creature filled with envy and neurosis.
I think that being such a creature is pitiful.
Daniel
Ok. Maybe my assumption in the previous post was wrong and Christmas letters don’t have anything to do with New Year’s eve letters.
So, tell me about this custom. If I understand correctly, one sends a christmas letter to tell the recipient about events that took place during the year?
At first glance, it seems rather neat. I think I would enjoy them if they were customary over here. Bragging included (I know of at least one relative who wouldn’t miss a chance to brag. That would be fine for a good laugh).
Idlewild, this post praising fruitcake is currently labeled as your post# 666.
This is all the proof I need. Fruitcake is evil.
You got it.
Daniel
I don’t get why people hate these. I appreciate the few I get from folks who I don’t see or hear from often and usually end up emailing them in response–“That trip sounded great. Glad things are going well” type of emails. I have found out about new babies, new jobs, moves, etc in this way. Obviously, these aren’t close friends, and it wouldn’t kill me not to hear, but I like hearing about what is going on.
As for the fact that they seem like bragging, do you really think it would be appropriate to tell everyone sordid details? So what if it ends up being only the good stuff–who cares?
I wonder if people who don’t like these feel threatened by the idea that someone else might be doing better, have a “better” life, better kids, whatever.
Before you get started on me, I don’t send these. No kids, not enough news, etc really to send them. I just don’t see the harm in them.
I look at them as an exercise in creative writing. Virtually no one’s life is as rosy as these letters imply, but no one wants to put bad news in them. So it becomes a matter of updating your friends and family without letting a lot of harsh reality intrude into the picture. So they tell you that their son’s football team won the district championship, but they don’t mention that their waiting on a court date to defend him on methamphetamine possession charges. They tell you their husband got a new job, but not that he was fired for sexual harrassment and suspicion of embezzlement. While you may be uninterested in their achievements, you’d have to be some sort of ghoul to want to hear about their failures and misfortunes. This isn’t everything that happened to them this year, this is the BEST of what happened to them this year. It only sounds like bragging because they only want to share the good parts, especially with people they only keep in touch with via an annual Christmas letter.
So I’d say I am pretty much in agreement with LHoD. If it’s from somebody you genuinely care about, it’s nice to get the update on their lives. If it’s someone you don’t much care for, or it’s just obnoxiously over the top glurge, then use the letters to line your cat’s litter box and draw little horns and goatees on their Christmas picture and tack it to the refrigerator. And be sure to send one back to them next year that’s even MORE over the top.
Why don’t you print the above rant and send it to everyone who sends you a Christmas letter?
I bet that would go a long way towards solving your problem.
You missed the part where I alluded to the idea that I don’t object to getting these from those who call me friend, and I them. I regret that at this time we are neither.
And for the record, I have never sent this type of letter out but appreciate them from friends who are distant and have busy lives. Too often so busy it is difficult to maintain current contact of any degree with a host of friends. I do take great happiness in their successes and sorrow for their failures or losses.
And yes, “what joy I’ll have” for anyone who has done well and is happy in their lives.
Ooooh, we just got one from my aunt and uncle. Now, he’s my mom’s older brother, my godfather, and we almost NEVER hear from them anymore. A little about their grandkids, which doesn’t bother me that much, considering we’re family and all.
But most of it was about how Uncle and Aunt are starting a new business that will give them more money to go on vacation and how they’re out playing tennis and going boating and isn’t that just so nice and wonderful?
No personal message (it was a homemade computer card, nice, fine, but it wasn’t even addressed to our names, nor was it signed, not even TYPED). Just a Brag Letter and a rather poorly photoshopped montage of their grandkids set against a rather shitty looking Christmas clip art background.
Okay, Uncle’s Family, fine. You never call us. Not so much to wish anyone in the family happy birthday-your baby sister, your nieces, etc. Honestly, that doesn’t really bother me. Just because you’re family doesn’t mean you have to be close.
But then don’t send us a goddamn form letter bragging about yourself. Don’t call up my grandmother asking about various family heirlooms (nothing valuable beyond sentiment) because you happened to see a similiar item getting a good chunk of change on eBay.
It’s not the letters, or the pictures, I like hearing from various family members. It’s when they’re people we’re really not close to, who NEVER bothers to ask how we are, who have to send us a form letter just to show off.
My father remember a little Christmas gag card his sister gave him, and suggested we send it in response:
Money’s short
Times are hard
Here’s your fuckin’ Xmas card.
The thing is, many of the people who send out this type of shit are not in any way close to the people to whom they send it. Often, such newsletters—because that’s all they are—get sent to people who are not friends in any real sense of the word, and the newsletters serve as nothing more than a chance to blow their own trumpet.
If i don’t have any contact whatsoever with someone for a whole year, then chances are that person is not someone i consider much of a friend. And if a person makes no attempt to contact me except in the form of an annual newsletter describing how great his or her family is, chance are that i will view the missive as little more than self-aggrandizing bullshit. Luckily none of my friends are so annoying.
I hope you don’t suffer from vertigo, because that’s a pretty high horse you’re mounted on there.
He’s the one sending the Christmas letters! 
I don’t mind them if:
- They’re well written
- They cover topics of some importance or interest to the general public. For instance, I couldn’t care less about your daughter making the cheerleading squad. But if your husband went down to New Orleans for two weeks to help with the rebuilding, now THAT’S news.
The hypocrisy just gets worse.
Daniel
For fuck’s sake, dude. You’re the third person making this jab. I already pointed out that it’s incorrect. And it wasn’t an especially clever ad hominem the first time around.
Daniel
I’m another one who had never understood the Christmas letter hate. First of all, I am Jewish and I have never sent any sort of Holiday card, let alone a Christmas letter or card in my life so I have never been responsible for such a thing. That said, I have always kind of liked them. If it’s from someone I know, I read it and am glad for the update. If it’s from someone I don’t know (like the cousin of my wife when I was married), I scan it and toss it in the trash.
Throw the fucking things in the garbage unopened if they cause you that much angst. This time of year is bad enough without giving yourself the extra stress. Damn, and I thought that I was a bitter grouch.
I’m thinking the same thing. I’ve never received a Christmas letter, I’ve never heard anyone I know discuss this year’s Christmas letter. Most of my family lives on the West Coast, so we talk fairly often, and the only person who sends Christmas cards is my grandmother, who handmakes beautiful cards. No long winded message in them, though. A couple aunts, uncles, and cousins live in Manitoba, so we usually get a card from them - a generic, card-store card with a short message and maybe a picture of the smaller kids with Santa. None of this “My kid’s batting average!” stuff.
Is this just an American thing?
I think that Kalhoun is a chick and I am sure that she was joking. Calm down, homie.