It’s the impersonal-ness that’s offputting. “This is what my family accomplished this year”, with nothing to show that the sender has spared a thought for you except to include you on their list.
“Here’s what I want you to know about ME.” Nah. Don’t bother.
I don’t object to getting cards though, and they’re just as impersonal. Maybe it’s the egotism inherent in the letter, which assumes you’re interested in everything they have to say, as opposed to the card, which is simply a greeting.
FRIENDS don’t brag to each other. Bragging is in poor form no matter when or how it’s done (hence my hatred of the “My son is an honor student” bumper stickers). But it’s especially tasteless to enclose a letter where you do nothing but brag about your fabulous life under the guise of celebrating the humble birth of Christ.
And you call ME sad and pathetic.
If you were my real friend, I’d already know about your son’s batting average and g.p.a. I’d also know about his dyslexia, how the little red-headed girl broke his heart and his battle with acne. I’d be there to share in your happinesses AND your disappointments. I certainly wouldn’t need you to re-cap it for me because I already know.
And if you DON’T know me well enough to pick up the phone and call once or twice a year, then it’s time to prune them from the Christmas letter list. Trust me, they won’t miss it.
Of this I’m sure.
In general, they don’t really bother me. I think one reason people may resent them is because they are included in the envelope with the Christmas cards. If the letters were received as ordinary correspondence at some other time of the year, most people would be happy to get them, but here they almost seem as if they are included with the card to save the cost of postage. It doesn’t bother me; as one of thrifty Scot descent, I don’t care if they save money by stapling it to a fruitcake. 
Most of the people I know are modest when talking of themselves, so the letters I receive understate rather than overstate their accomplishments. And one person I know writes a letter that is absolutely hysterical in self deprecation, full of tales of woe, missed connections, and bungled communication. Always a joy to read.
The ones I don’t like are from the people who won’t have anything to do with me throughout the year, but insist on sending me their list of accomplishments. Ah well, after a few of these I really don’t care about having anything to do with them either, and a Christmas letter is a small price to pay for avoiding their company.
There is only one person who sends us such a letter. This daughter just got appointed head of the Whatever department at Some Such University. This other one graduated Magna Cum Laude from That University. Son is about to get the Nobel Prize for General Excellence or something. Oh, and the Husband’s New Business is doing really, really well.
The funny thing is, this family is Jewish. It’s a typed “Holiday Letter” (no signature, just probably printed a large number off on the computer).
I have decided NOT to send back a similar listing all the crappy things that happened in our family this year. The best I could do would be to say that, as far as I know, everyone is out of the hospital (right now), everyone who wanted to be divorced got their final decree, my neice finally got her teeth fixed, and I’m hoping to get a job before the unemployment runs out.
If you’re friends with the sender, surely you know all of what they have to say already? Even if they’re halfway across the country, surely, as friends, you’d keep in touch via the phone or email?
Generally, these letters don’t tend to mention the losses - a family member’s death will most likely be included, but again, wouldn’t you as a friend know this already? The “little” losses, as compared to the small triumphs boasted about in letters such as that the OP recieved, are never mentioned.
Are you only happy when good things happen to friends, then? You only want letters from friends. Are you indifferent when it comes to others?
What hypocrisy?
In what way have i advocated one course of action, and undertyaken something contradictory?
You might not agree with me—which is your prerogative—but i’m in no way hypocritical.
This sums it up perfectly
And Left Hand, the constant "yeah, well your posts are boring! is the equivilent to “oh yeah, and you’re ugly!”
Telling me I’m getting up on a high horse when the OP is attacking people for sending out Christmas letters, and you’re agreeing with the attack? Looks pretty hypocritical to me: mote, beam, all that.
Lezlers, the mote and beam thing is something you want to work on, too: that’s why I’m pointing out the mundane nature of your posts. If you weren’t attacking others for mundane communication, I wouldn’t bring it up.
When Rush Limbaugh came on Letterman, he made some comment about how Hillary Clinton looked like a hood ornament or something, and Letterman said, “See, you can say that because you’re such a fine specimen of humanity yourself.” His response basically was, “Oh yeah, and you’re ugly!” But it was okay, because Limbaugh was calling someone else ugly first, and he was making a point about motes and beams.
Daniel
Raises hand timidly.
Am I the only person here who likes both fruitcake and Christmas letters?
My family makes our own fruitcake, from an old, old recipe, and I love it all year round. Ant the letters I happen to get are not brag sheets but have serious news as well. My middle sister in particular has a humorous style and I actually look forward to her letters, although we live in the same town and see each other all the time.
I haven’t gotten a lot of holiday newsletters in my life, and I’ve never sent one out, but I think they’re pretty neat. Of course, I consider the people who send them to me to be my friends rather than some kind of rivals who are trying to rub my nose in their happiness.
My usual reaction to somebody else’s good fortune is “Good for you, I’m so happy to hear that,” so I don’t agree with a lot of the opinions expressed in this thread.
There are quite a few people from whom I only hear once a year, and even though we don’t keep in touch I’m still really happy to hear from them once in a while. I hope they’re happy to hear from me.
I think another problem is that they’re usually mass-produced. They type up a form letter, print out a whole shitload, and then tuck them into envelopes, sending them out to everyone, with no personal note of “Hey, John, I hope things are going well for you at the office!” or “Jane, I hear your youngest just graduated-congratulations!”
They have no warmth, no true sense of well-wishing. They’re cold and impersonal.
I’d be glad to send a Giftmas letter!
It’s not very often I get to write about my little accomplishments. And they WILL be my accomplishments, because I have no children…that I know of 
Anyway, to respond to the OP.
If it was me, I would just send a “Christmas” letter back to them. I’d fill it with exaggerations, absurdities, and things that would make them laugh and/or cringe.
I’d provide some examples, but in the spirit of the holiday season. I’ll spare you the cringe inducing details. Ho ho ho.
I’m in western Canada and have received them commonly from people all over western Canada, friends and family. So no, I don’t think it’s just an American thing. I don’t mind receiving them, though I don’t send them. There is one that I receive annually that is especially self-congratulatory. That one I enjoy** because** of its smugness.
I guess, but they’re not all that widespread. I feel like my family received one from my mom’s cousin years ago, but I can’t remember the last time I saw such a thing. Of course, my mom’s family is close enough that they call each other and bitch about everyone else all the time, so it’s not really necessary, and my dad’s family is too dysfunctional (and Jewish) to bother.
I thank Og that I don’t get any braggardly Ogmas letters.
The reason I don’t, I think, is because the people in my life who would would ordinarily send me one also send me emails and see me multiple times per year.
In the past year, my grandfather removed the cedar fence from his driveway and had rocks installed. His last book was published and he’s starting on a third, all about his inventions and gadgets. He got rid of the swimming raft outside the house because it was falling into disrepair. He had a good crop of fresh tomatoes. He found a dead mouse in the well. He’s been working on a committee which is supposed to produce some kind of monument or education center for a large local prehistoric flood. And he’s been keeping busy since my grandmother died in January.
I know this not because he sent me one (1) letter at Christmas, but because he sends out emails and we have dinner together at various holidays throughout the year. I prefer it this way.
I can see only a few reasons why someone would write a single Ogmastime letter, and they’re not good.
a) feel guilty about lack of communication over the year, desperately trying to renew contact, but not really committed to keeping communications up year-round
b) don’t know enough about target family to actually inquire about specific things, so sending general update in hopes of receiving same
c) enjoy recapping the year for own purposes, which isn’t bad; however, inflated sense of self-importance requires them to inform everybody in known universe
d) doesn’t have time to call me or write to me personally, as if I’m a real friend: therefore calculate approximate friendship by dividing 1 / X where X=number of photocopies of letter sent.
e) too cheap to phone me long-distance to say hello, hopes by sending an inexpensive bulk-written letter I’ll be enticed to pay the long distance and phone them instead
If I were to get one, I’d throw it away. I wouldn’t complain about it — but that doesn’t stop me from disliking them.
No, no… coincidence, I assure you! Nothing more! <looks around with shifty eyes> There’s no devilry afoot! Just good wholesome dried fruit and liquor!
Actually, i can’t work up the sort of hostility to these letters that is displayed in the OP. The intention of my post was to point out that, while the letters that you receive might not bug you because they come from “a friend” and “an uncle,” the fact is that many people who send out these letters send them to people who are not really friends in any meaningful sense of the word, and the letters often serve as an indication of how little real friendship is involved, rather than a symbol of affection. I was simply pointing out that the sort of people i like to call friends are the sort who communicate with me in a more personal manner than including me in a bulk mailing list.
Your comparison of the letters with these message boards is also a rather labored one, because while many people have probably made friends on this board, the fact is that we generally think of each other rather differently than we do of our real-life friends, and as a consequence have rather different expectations regarding levels of communication. If someone on this message board fails to respond to a post of mine, i don’t read as much into it as i would if a friend failed to reply to personal communication. Also, posting to a board where people chose to open your thread or not, and where your posts are often not directed at specific people, is rather different from contructing a letter and sending it off to a specific subset of individuals.
You’re a pretty good guy in general, and i agree with much of your politics and many other things you say, but on certain subjects you can be something of a self-righteous prig. I guess this is one of those occasions.
I should qualify my earlier statement on this issue and say that i do have some friends, especially those who live overseas, that i don’t hear from very regularly.
The thing is, though, when i do hear from them (and them from me), it’s not a mass-mailed form letter, but a personal communication crafted specifically for the recipient, and reflective of our mutual admiration.
Yeah, my cousins and aunt do that Xerox letter thing. They’re the only ones in the family who do. I guess I don’t mind too much; at least I get to find out what’s been going on in their lives. They live far away, see, so I don’t get to hear from them much, so even bragging stuff is okay.
For my part, when I do my Christmas cards, I hand-write a small, individualized note in just about every card. Takes me awhile, but I think it’s nicer. I’m kind of obssessive-compulsive about that kind of thing…! :eek:
I love these Christmas letters. I have an insanely large family, nearly all of whom live across the states from me. While I do care about my aunts, uncles and, now that some of them are old enough, cousins, I find it hard to keep in touch with them. I have enough problems keeping up with what is going on in my immediate family and there are only 10 of them! I don’t mind the bragging at all, in fact, I enjoy hearing about how well things are going and what my cousins have achieved. I remember back when we were all snotty punks who used to hate each other. It’s nice to see how much everyone has grown and matured.
This doesn’t even include my friends from high school who have spread out over the globe. I lost track of the ones who aren’t online very often and I would love to get even one letter from some of them just because I often wonder what they are doing and how they are.
I don’t send the letters myself since everything I’d say can fit in one card (Still working, still going to school).