This question has been burning in my mind for, say, the past 2 minutes, and I need the answer.
“What would happen if I said shut up to the Pope?”
Do you think I’d get lynched by the Catholic Church? Or maybe sent to the butcher to be made into Big Macs and Whoppers? Maybe I’d be excommunicated? WallyM7 wants to know.
“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes
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Hey, that wasn’t me! It’s the other WallyM7.
WAG: You’d probably have to say the Stations of the Cross a zillion times. 
This space for rent.
Lightning bolt. Then the Pope would lean over to the little heap of charcoal that was you and say, “Ha-ha!”
You’d have to clean all the glass on the pope-mobile with your tounge.
You’d be banished to purgatory (after your time in MPSIMS).
If a past Pope forgave the person who attempted to kill him, I think you would get off with a light sentance.
After the authorities are done with you, of course…
Yer pal,
Satan
Along the same line–does it seem that society somehow frowns on being disrespectful to anyone of a certain stature, regardless of his character, while we are free to slag each other till the cows come home.
For example, if the Pope and I shared the exact same view of birth control with you here on The Straight Dope, would many Dopers say, “Pooch, bite me” yet “beg to differ” with the Pope?
I don’t know about anyone else, but if CowGod told the Pope to shut up, and I heard about it, I would laugh. I would laugh really hard, then I’d fix myself a big ol’ bowl of popcorn, hunker down & watch the media analyze the whole incident. Now that’s entertainment!
The Pope himslef would forgive you.
But the Secret Illuminated Order of the Cross? That’s another story…
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
You’d become an instant celebrity, appear on a bazillion talk shows, (ghost)write a book, sell the movie rights, and buy a huge house in Malibu. Then, after a couple of months, you would get caught in a menage a trois with Ann Meara and Jerry Falwell, whereupon you would immediately kill yourself with a potato peeler and spend eternity sitting between the Marquis de Sade and Bing Crosby watching reruns of Love American Style on Nick at Night.
Burgers and steaks. Yup.
Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
I doubt he’d hear you. When are you going to have a personal audience with him? cowgod,why do I get the feeling you haven’t been getting any lately? 
The Pope would forgive you, knowing that you’d been led astray. But what he’d do to Wally…
He’d make you wear his hat.
Up your ass.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, dogs are from Pluto. - Anonymous
I think we are all missing a salient point here. The pope is just a man…whereas the Cow God is well…a god.
I think the better question would be…What would happen if the pope told cow god to shut up?
Or an even funnier aside…Could imagine getting the pope so mad he yelled “SHUT THE FUCK UP! JESUS CHRIST! YOU ARE SO FUCKING ANNOYING!” That would be funny!
-Frankie
Actually, I think that the pope might be more likely to respond in Italian. But that’s just me.
He might say something like: Che se ne frega! Va fan culo!
SanibelMan
“A wise man will not leave the right to the mercy of chance, nor wish it to prevail through the power of the majority. There is but little virtue in the action of masses of men.”
– Henry David Thoreau
Very funny, Sani, but the royal Popester is Polish, isn’t he?
What would the Pope do to you?
One Word.
<font size=“7”>HAMBURGER!</font>
Unless, it’s Friday–then I don’t know.
YO-HO, ME HEARTIES! ALL HANDS ON DECK FOR THE MUSICAL BATTLE AT SEA!
I’m not sure what the Pope would do (although it’d probably be in Polish, not Italian…)
But, given the setup, more interesting is what Satan might do; probably let you strap on a …
If I lived in an independent state smack dab in the middle of Italy, I’d for damn sure have learned some Italian by now. At least enough to curse in.
Probably the Swiss guards would be sent in to drag you out by your ear like Sister Mary Frances used to do in grade school.