Shut UP Staples!!!!

Look, I don’t CARE if ancient, decrepit, but still fiesty Aunt Clara wants a digital camera. Don’t give us this “Take the hint already” BS. If Aunt Clara wants a digital camera THAT badly, she can go get the damn thing herself.

And this goes for ALL you damn stores. Quit with the “if you don’t buy, and buy big you’re a loser” pressure to buy gifts.

Can’t afford the newest/coolest/hippest gadget dujour does NOT = isn’t a good relative.


Welcome to the Christmas season.

So what is Aunt Clara getting for Christmas this year?

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
Jackals ripping at your throat
You’ll tell Carol “You’re a skunk and a liar,
And you smell like a billy goat!”

Everybody knows some turkey under mistletoe
Is bound to make the spirits blight
Wino sots with their red eyes aglow
Will find the pavement hard tonight

They know that Santa’s been delayed
He’s overloaded, overworked, and underpaid
And every motherfucker’s gonna try
To pot a reindeer with his piece as they fly by

And so I’m offering this special deal
“Buy now! Just $19.92!”
You know you’ve been had, many times, many ways,
Merry merchants screw you!

I think I’m in love :smiley:

A ride on an ice floe if she doesn’t quit buggin’ me for a damn camera.

Dang, this is funny. Would you like to marry me?

I just saw the ad, and the whole time I was thinking to myself: that lady is getting a quick trip to the old folk’s home posthaste.

Jimmy: Will we see grandma?

Dad: No dear, she’s gone insane and we must never mention her again.


Harborwolf and Excalibre, duelling for the hand of the fair ETF! What weapons will they choose in this battle to the death for the love of a rhyming tricat?

Film at 11:00. :smiley:

A nice little fruitcake, like everyone else.


When we were kids, it was a big deal. We had a huge family, and my grandparents had a big ole house. We’d draw names, and then get a present for whosever name we’d drawn and there was a limit, but I dont’ remember now what it was.

I don’t really remember ever wanting anything really fanatically for christmas like the kids nowadays seem to do (Oh my God, stop me), like the Tickle Me Elmos or whatever the version of TME is this Christmas. We just had fun opening stuff and being surprised. I honestly don’t remember very many actual presents, other than the ones my mom gave fairly often (barbie stuff, hairbrushes and girlie things in our stockings when we got older)

If we really wanted something specific, we’d campaign to get it just because we wanted it, at the time we wanted it, regardless of the time of year, but not because Christmas was approaching.

Anyway, sorry I wandered off.

No, as I mentioned in another thread, most of our immediate family (since we’re now spread to the far ends of the earth, my sister and I in AK, cousins from WA state to Scotland and so on), we mostly call and wish happy holidays, or send a card. Up until my grandmother died, we still got a five dollar check (what comedian did the bit about what you started at is a locked rate?). :smiley: I still have the last one she sent. I never cashed it.

Ooops, wandered again, I could go on for pages about wonderful family memories that have nothing to do with presents.

Anyway, about 10 years ago, my mom, sister, daughter (who was mid teens) and I started a new personal Xmas tradition. We didn’t buy anything for xmas, except for my son, who was then very little (and he’s just now a teen, so we still get stuff for him. Even my son, who’s a teen says “eeeh, I dunno, anything’s cool” when asked “what do you want for Xmas”).

But the next day, we took what we WOULD have spent on exorbitant, way overinflated pre-xmas prices, and we went shopping the xmas sales. We had lunch someplace fun, and we went to a movie.

It was sort of a “why don’t we try…” the first time, but it was such a hit, that it went on until my mom and daughter moved from Ak. My sister and I will likely carry on the tradition this year as well.

I HIGHLY recommend it (boyCOTT, boyCOTT, boyCOTT, boyCOTT!!!), even men could do it, you know, you could shop someplace “guyish”, and maybe go see a game or something? (not that ALL men have to be guyish).

Remember: boyCOTT, boyCOTT, boyCOTT, boyCOTT, boyCOTT, boyCOTT, boyCOTT, boyCOTT!!!