No, no, we’re all in this together! This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap- hap- happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fuckin’ Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.
Mom? Is that you? Mom…give it up.
Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?
Fixed the newel post.
I don’t know, Margot.
You’re goofy.
Everybody starts having Holly-Jolly Chritmas Fun™ right now, or else!
I want a BJ for Xmas.
'Scuze me…XXXmas.
Shitter’s full!
Is your house on fire Clark?
It’s not everyday someone moves into a new house.
This house is bigger than your old one.
You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.
Every time Catherine turns on the microwave, I piss my pants and forget who I am for a half hour.
You about ready to do some kissin’?
Honey, have you checked our shitters?
Also,
Ellen: Clark, we’re stuck under a truck!
Clark: Do you honestly think I don’t know that!
Grace? She passed away years ago.
The BLESSING!
Oh dear… did I break wind?
SQUIRREL!
Where’s Eddie? He usually eats these things!
:smack: I should’ve realized, this being CS, that the OP was probably quoting a movie. From context, I’m guessing one of the Vacation movies.
Sorry for crashing into the thread.
Do you have to sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is? I have nightmares about what he does in his room when I’m not sleeping right next to him.
Get off me, you little fungus!
Can I refill your egg nog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead?