I’ve seen this happen a couple of times at Chinese restaurants with my friend. At one, they refused to translate some of the specials posted on the wall (“Those are for Chinese!”). At the other, they repeatedly refused to serve my friend the lamb casserole before finally giving in (“You won’t like it…”). In the end, he didn’t really like it; that “lamb” apparently lived to a ripe old age before its casserolification.
Video clip (not from that movie):
Anthony Bourdain visits Sukiyabashi Jiro (~6 min)
We are HUGE fans of [SriPraPhai](http://www.newyo rker.com/arts/reviews/tables/2007/04/02/070402gota_GOAT_tables_julian) and routinely take visiting guests there for awesome Thai food. They definitely steer you away from dishes, like the time I tried to order “sour curry,” but we don’t get as many arguments as non-Asians do when we ask for the dish to be spicy. I’m more amused than offended but this is how it usually breaks down when we’ve gone by ourselves or with other people;
Non-Asian: you can’t handle Thai spicy + you probably don’t want to eat that, it’s for Thai people
South Asian (us): We trust you on asking for Thai spicy but you probably don’t want to eat that, it’s for Thai people
East Asian: we’ll give you recommendations and not argue with you about your order
I’m sure it’s because they don’t want to argue with guests or eat the cost when someone orders something more likely to be enjoyed by people familiar with the taste, on account of having grown up eating it.
Also, if you are ever in the area, try SriPraPhai!!
It took us several visits to our favorite Thai place, insisting on “More Spicy!” every time until they stopped white-spicing us. Now they routinely amp up the food to Thai levels when we walk through the door.
I’ve had the same experience. I make hot pepper jams with habaneros. I can handle spicy. With any new Indian or Thai place, I start with a medium-spicy benchmark dish, like a pad thai or something. When I decide the quality is good, then I’ll jack up the heat/spicy on my next visit. If I get to “hot” and I think I could go a little more, it usually takes some convincing that yes, I really want the Thai hot, and no, I’m not going to pick at it and complain and yes, the tears streaming down my face are tears of joy because I do love the Hawt.
I think the waitress at our place picked up very quickly on the “more spicy = more tip” paradigm. 
It makes sense if you assume that one ethnic group doesn’t know squat about another’s cuisine (and based on some of our uglier brethren, that would be a fair assumption). The restaurant is protecting themselves and you, in case you are not a well-rounded diner.
For example, I work with what essentially a Pan-Asian work group (and I am not Asian). When we go to a restaurant, they always order things I don’t see on the menu. When we order hot food (and I can take up Ghost peppers for my heat), they explain to the server that I can take it.
They then tell me how I can order the same dishes at the same heat level if they are not there. Am I offended? No. They are helping the restaurant from serving a dish that will come back and might cost them a customer. And they are helping me expand my culinary chops.
Everyone makes assumptions about that people they encounter. It’s called prejudice, and it isn’t always a bad thing. But sometimes, it causes the problem the OP described. You look like you don’t eat here, so why give you a menu that you probably won’t like?
I cringe when my stepson does this. I told him that one day, I am going to disown him…
At least she didn’t add ketchup.
Same here, but only if I’m at a proper sushi place. Generic sushi with generic sauce is fine for a quick lunch.
It depends, as you noted. Sometimes “Americano” is filter coffee, sometimes diluted espresso, and milk/no milk varies as well. But “espresso” is pretty straightforward, especially when you’re getting it in a cardboard cup.
Of course, I’ve also been to places where “espresso” means “regular coffee in a small cup for twice the price” but I tend not to go back to those places.
This may be debating semantics but as far as I know, coffee/espresso and milk/no milk is not up for debate.
Coffee+water is just… coffee made weak or strong. Coffee + milk is just coffee with milk.
Espresso + water is an Americano. Espresso + milk = late. Espresso + milk + foam = cappuccino.
Also, I don’t think this is a first world problem. It’s definitely a race problem. On one hand, the restauranteurs could be making assumptions based off generalizations. On the other hand, they’re just trying to cover they bases… off of assumptions based off generalizations. Either way, intent is irrelevant - they’re generalizing based on race. Is it malicious? Maybe, maybe not. Is it racially motivated? Yes.
Just because it might be somehow benevolent, and just because there might be some factual basis to a certain stereotype, does not mean that what this lady did is not racist. I wouldn’t use too much sleep over it myself but it seems pretty clear to me that the OP is being treated differently because of the color of his skin.
I looked up suya and moi moi, I have to say damn! Looks tasty. I have to find one in California. And if I do, I will send my stepson in and see if he gets hassled.
Amusing story, about asuumptions.
In 1976, while I was in the Army, I was stationed is South Korea. I’d had Korean language training that enabled me to get by in most day to day things off post.
So While on a trip to Seoul I go into a restaurant. It was a sort of family looking place, not a chain but think Denny’s in prices and style. I was the only Westerner I could see in the place. I was seated, I made my order(I’d learned to love Korean food). When my order was brought out to me they gave me Western style tableware, so I asked for chopsticks
It seemed to surprise them but they brought them out. And from the kitchen, through the round window in the swinging door, I could see the staff watching as the American woman ate with chopsticks. I did pretty good too. God, I miss even now eating good Korean food in Korea. No Korean restaurants in my city.
Is that racism? I’m not convinced.
This thread makes me want to go to a restaurant with no english translations, point out something randomly, and if they try to dissuade me reply, “Why? Do you serve bad food?”
If that’s going to happen anywhere in the US, Houston’s a more likely place than maybe a handful of others.
There’s a Sino-Vietnamese place my family and I eat when I’m in town, and just about every time, we have to say that we’d like the “other menu”, which is the one with the good stuff like salt & pepper crab, not the sweet & sour pork with fried rice and an eggroll type menu.
No biggie; I don’t think it’s racist at all, just trying to serve their customers better, who apparently when not Asian, order the #1 plate or the #2 plate, not family-style like the Asian families.
Dublin now thankfully has a whole district chockful of Korean restaurants.
Not sure what the issue is here, or what you’re trying to prove with your link to a dictionary, which 1) is just some kind of internet dictionary, so, like, :rolleyes:, and 2) does not even contradict or undermine what I’m saying. I’m just going to assume this is some sort of whoosh that I’m not getting.
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No biggie; I don’t think it’s racist at all, just trying to serve their customers better, who apparently when not Asian, order the #1 plate or the #2 plate, not family-style like the Asian families.
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Again, I don’t think that being helpful and being racist are necessarily mutually exclusive. A lot of colonialist thought is premised on the notion that Europeans are in a position and under an obligation to bring civilization, progress, etc., to the rest of the world, which in and of itself can be seen as a benevolent attempt to be helpful but is also based on condescending and racist assumptions. I don’t think that what this Nigerian lady did is the equivalent of colonizing entire continents wholesale, it’s not a very big deal at all. But it does not logically follow that it was an attempt to serve customers better so it can’t be racist.
Yes, being benevolent negates being racist. It can be wrong in a lot of other ways, but assuming white people don’t like certain foods is not a racist act. It may be prejudiced, it may be ignorant, it may be stereotyping. It is not, however, racism. Let’s save that word for the real stuff.
I wouldn’t say it was racist, but I have been discriminated against in Mexican restaurants. When my now-husband (Mexican) and I first started going to Mexican restaurants, he would order in Spanish. This gave our servers full license to completely ignore me for the rest of the service. Asking if he’s doing okay or needs a refill (in Spanish) while passing me by completely. I had to force him to order in English so the servers would talk to me. Not a problem since.