About two years back, my wife and (then 11 yo) daughter were at a small party with the other girls she shares a sport with and their mothers. At some point, the more popular/leader girls decided that a change of venue was in order, but that not everyone needed to be part of the next phase, along with my daughter being left out. Unfortunately, my kid caught wind of the plan, mostly from two twin girls (followers who weren’t excluded) that were that at the time considered good friends of my daughter’s; we had spent time as families as well, and my wife was tight with the mother. We always felt that they were a warm, albeit reserved, family.
In the ensuing phone call placed to the twins’ mother - not sure if she left a message or spoke to her - my wife expressed the understanding that sometimes kids get left out for whatever reason, but some considerable effort should have been made to keep my daughter out of the loop and avoid hurt feelings. The twins mother cut off communication with my wife at that point, and during the next phone call (to find out why they weren’t talking), her husband rudely (and a bit out of character) answered the phone with something to the effect of “What business do you have with my wife?”.
At a bigger party about 6 months later, with husbands and other siblings in attendance, I merely say hello to the couple involved, cordially - no communication between them and my wife. I think one or two similar hellos by me at other run-ins, but no other contact, until…
Tonight, at a Christmas party, the husband and I make eye contact but don’t speak until quite a while has past - again, just a quick hello and some strained small talk, but when his wife and I get near each other, she says hello and LEANS IN FOR A KISS in such a way that it would have been very awkward for me to back away and not kiss her hello.
Of course, my wife saw this and asked me about it later…not that she’s mad at me, but she wanted to text the wife and find out why she feels compelled to kiss me hello after what has transpired. I managed to dissuade her from texting, but I’m having a difficult time figuring out
A. Whether this woman had a motive, or just doesn’t have any beef with me and wanted to make that apparent
B. Whether I should follow up with them at some point and say if apologies and/or a some sort of rekindling of a friendship needs to happen before any more pseudo-warm-heartedness is exchanged
C. Whether I’ve done a great or uncommon disservice to my marriage by not ignoring them at every chance meeting.