Sigh, I can't delude myself longer, I really do have poor table manners

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Apricot

<snip>Not really related - they poured our female tablemate’s wine into a really really warm (straight from the wash) wine glass. The guy felt his glass first and snapped at the waiter that you don’t pour wine in a hot glass! The guy then offered to bring the lady ice cubes for her wine. O-K.

At that point, I think I’d ask to see the bag. (You know, that the wine was from. Cause that ain’t too high class.)

[Roonwit]

@Apricot

The last straw was on the night that the guy next to me called the way I ate corn on the cob “cute” and said it reminded him of when he was little and his family was poor and lived on a farm and his mom cut corn that way. He looked a little misty. For reference, I cut the corn off the cob with a steak knife, with the half-cob stood vertically - five swipes.

Anyone who serves corn on the cob in a formal setting should be bitch-slapped with greasy dish-rag. You don’t want to see me eat with my hands? Prepare the food in such a way that my hands aren’t the most effective tools for getting it into my mouth. :rolleyes:

IMO, formal dining is vastly overrated. When I sit down to break bread with my friends, the last thing I want to have to give a damn about is whether some guy at the next table (or some stranger who’s been assigned to sit next to me) is offended because my fork touched my plate. I can do it, but if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather take the beating.

Thank God for barbecue joints. One of y’all hand me a piece of that loaf-bread.

[picunurse]

@WhyNot

Not really, but breaking the bread into small pieces over the bread plate keeps most of the crumbs on the bread plate instead of all over your place setting, the tablecloth and your shirt.

Or so they tell me. I’m one of those well-endowed women with perma-stains on all my shirts right in the middle of my cleavage, because my rack acts like a catch-all, so perhaps your cleanliness advice should come from somewhere else. :smack:

I have the same problem. I’ve made myself several adult bibs. One is black/gold satin(reversible) for those formal occasions.

[Ludovic]

Excalibre must be an atheist.

[velvetjones]

There’s one annoying little habit in my family that always gets me. My mother and my older sister, after enjoying a meal in a restaurant, will replenish their lipstick at the table.

I find that unspeakably uncouth and think that if you want to re-apply lipstick you should excuse yourself to the restroom (which is what I do)

They both disagree with me and say it’s not impolite and perfectly acceptable to whip out the compact and apply lipstick at the dinner table. Or worse yet just whip out the lipstick and apply by feel. (I don’t know how they do this. If I applied lipstick without a mirror I’d look like a clown)

I mostly find this offensive when we’re dining out. At home the atmosphere is a bit more casual (and they’re more apt to not bother).

As for the other stuff, I never knew about asparagus. I had it for dinner night before last. Nice juicy tender stalks with just a tough of butter and seasoning. I ate it with a knife and fork.

[Excalibre]

@velvetjones

There’s one annoying little habit in my family that always gets me. My mother and my older sister, after enjoying a meal in a restaurant, will replenish their lipstick at the table.

I find that unspeakably uncouth and think that if you want to re-apply lipstick you should excuse yourself to the restroom (which is what I do)

They both disagree with me and say it’s not impolite and perfectly acceptable to whip out the compact and apply lipstick at the dinner table. Or worse yet just whip out the lipstick and apply by feel. (I don’t know how they do this. If I applied lipstick without a mirror I’d look like a clown)

I mostly find this offensive when we’re dining out. At home the atmosphere is a bit more casual (and they’re more apt to not bother).

As for the other stuff, I never knew about asparagus. I had it for dinner night before last. Nice juicy tender stalks with just a tough of butter and seasoning. I ate it with a knife and fork.

I don’t think women are generally expected to apply makeup in public. Partially, though, this is probably because it wrecks the illusion that they look that way naturally . . .

[twickster]

I believe Miss Manners say lipstick is okay, anything beyond that should be done in the “powder room.”

[Alma]

@Mangetout

I agree; pretty much everything else is forgivable; but if you chew with your mouth open, I would probably just get up and walk away.

I agree that chewing with the one’s mouth open is egregious and pretty disgusting. There’s another act that is somewhat rarer but probably more annoying to me. My boyfriend used to take a forkful of food, and then as he was removing the fork from his mouth, scrape it between his upper and lower teeth. It was as though his clenched teeth were a kind of food dam. He did it with every bite.

Although I hated to act like a nag or his mother, eventually I just got too disgusted. I told him that it was a physical turn-off and the more he did it, the lest attractive he became. Okay, I exaggerated a little bit.

If I never hear the distinctive pinging sound of a fork being dragged through clenched teeth, I will die a happy girl.

[OpalCat]

Eugh. That’s awful. But I don’t even like it when someone pulls their fork out between closed LIPS. I just don’t like seeing the resulting smeary mess on the utensil. I just can’t help but sit there thinking “that’s food and spit. that’s food and spit. that’s food and spit.” It grosses me out. I drag the food off with my teeth, without (at least noticably or audibly) touching my teeth to the utensil, and without sliming my utensil with my lips.

But I realize this is peculiar to me.