*SIGH* . . . Mothers.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Shrimp. Yum. Shrimp… Good God of Edible, Creepy, Crawly Crustaceons, how I love your butter-dipped and curry-covered sacrifices in my bounden belly. I would go anywhere for you, Oh Prawns of Perfection, even if that anywhere is a wedding reception/auntie em’s personal ring of bridal hell.

Sure, sure, some might advance the notion that I should show as much loyalty and resolve to my wife, and thus be there holding her hand when the party’s playing out. But the holding of the hand only takes one of the two I’m sure I have, so why let that errant hand go to waste? I shall be filling it up with shrimp, all the while encouraging poor, put-out auntie em with words of confidence and consolation like, “Qwbxjbjwdwdnwjdwjjkgygijmvk]cjkjcncn%524”–which is exactly what words of love sound like coming from a mouth full of shrimp.

Yum.

Anyway, I’m not worried about not being invited to a party, even if it is in honor of the broom auntie em and I jumped. Truth is, I’ve always felt somewhat weirded out by receiving gifts, so attending a party for just that reason would probably (although not extensively so) curb my appetite for that lovely shrimp. How disappointing!

And don’t think that my pseudo-mom will cry out in the middle of the night for missing this party. Oh no, she’ll use it as an excuse to throw us another party, which will be even bigger, possibly theme-based, and held at the site of her new pool and hottub-equipped house. And since my pseudo-family has yet to actually meet any of auntie em’s family, I don’t think anyone from my side is going to feel insulted.

So, really, the only person’s discomfort I’m concerned with at this point, is auntie em. Because, what if she gets so razzed up by the party problems that she doesn’t go through with the shrimp making?

NOOOO!!!

Oh, and because I love her. :slight_smile:

22

Just to clarify, Ferret Herder–my mom is totally footing the bill for this shindig. I don’t think her mention of the (larger) amount of $$$ she’s spending on me is an attempt to get us to pony anything up; rather, I think she’s just dealing with frustration about her own self-imposed obligations (which are mainly social, whereas mine are mainly familial).

That said, her justification for disinviting Skip is dirty pool, plain and simple (especially since she’s leveraging her argument with a guilt trip about how she didn’t get to come to the wedding).

And the truth is, some of those old broads on the guest list will bring their husbands, anyway, even if the invitation is addressed only to the wife. It’s happened

And even if it doesn’t happen this time, I think an exception can be made for The Husband ™, if he wants to come. Which he may not need to, since I’m filling him up with shrimp this weekend (that sounded dirtier than it should have).

23

You know what? Explain it to your mom this way: This is a wedding shower. In order to have a wedding, you have to have (at least) two parties present–in this case a bride and a groom. Therefore, both will attend the shower. If she had chosen to throw you a “bridal” shower prior to the elopement, then it would have made sense to only include you.

You and Skip come as a package deal now. Get used to it. Just because she invites him doesn’t mean she has to invite other husbands. The guests won’t even know Skip’s going to be there until they arrive so they can’t use that as justification for bringing their own fellers.

Plus, if they’ve never met him, I am certain that these women will be dying to know what Skip looks like anyway! Even though it is more common than it used to be people are still very intrigued by the whole “met-on-the-internet” thing.

Good luck. I have one of the world’s most annoying mothers so I empathize.

24

Wait: you mean one of the reasons I’ve been banned from this shindig is because she didn’t get to come to the wedding? How come YOU aren’t banned, then, you no good, no-account daughter who wiped her mum’s name off the guest list to our elopement?

I was just following orders. I’m innocent, I say!

25

You know, there was another group of people who were just following orders–they were called Naz…oh, wait. Sorry. Never mind! :wink:

26

Oh, that’s easy. She can tell them that I’m pink.

And don’t worry, her mom loves me, so it’s not a case of the Queen of Dirty Pool (QoDP) not wanting her daughter’s husband to be with, you know, his wife. Besides, I’m sure if I show up at this juking joint, all the old ladies will see what a dashing fellow I am and expect me to get on the table, dance, and somehow lose my clothes.

I’ve a very defined figure, I might add. (If anyone asks what definition from whose dictionary, keep in mind I will slap you. With my very defined fist. Let’s just not ruin the fantasy, eh? :p)

27

Yeah, I’m not a Mod, so Godwinizing me ain’t allowed, I don’t think. :wink:

28

My…you are quite pink. However, you look disappointingly normal (I’m sure misleadingly so) for someone she met on the internet. Where is your third eye? Or your 14 fingers?

29

Well, yes and no . . .

Remember how my justification for asking that she eschew the wedding was that if we invited her, it meant we’d have to invite certain other people, which could conceivably turn into a whole bunch of people, which would totally stress me out?

Well, she didn’t hesitate to remind me of how she abided by those wishes for ME, and to invoke the same reasoning for dis-inviting YOU from this shindig (because, apparently, inviting you means that she must invite all of the goddamn husbands in the world).

Strangely enough, it was this dirty-pool strategy that pissed me off enough to decide that dammit, you’re coming if you want to. :wink:

And evilbeth, thanks for the sympathy. Your reasoning (about it being a wedding shower, not a bridal shower) is sound, but really, I think she understands all of that. I just think that she’s got some personal gender issues left over from being a 50s wife (i.e., either it’s a girl-party, a guy-party, or a 50-50 co-ed party, but a party with one man and 20 women would be all wrong, despite the fact that said man is completely at home in a room fulla chicks) that she can’t get over.

She adores Skip, believe me (more, in fact, than she loves me), so it’s not about excluding HIM, its about extricating herself from the obligation to invite more people than she wants to accommodate (especially if those extra people will not get us extra gifts).

And hell, what do I know . . . ? Perhaps all of her little-old-lady friends think exactly the same way, so maybe when they walk in and see Skip, they’ll think, "Wait, we were supposed to bring husbands? The invitation didn’t say so . . . "

Or, they’ll just be thinking, “Lord Hammercy, the one daughter went and married herself an African, and THIS one went and nabbed a White Boy!” :wink:

30

But see, that irritates me. (Which is meaningless, I understand.) However, he is NOT simply a husband–he is THE husband, damnit!!!

The 1950s mentality be damned, people! If you have to make the invitations and the food, then you get to invite the @%&#ing husband!

Of course, YMMMV.
(You mom’s mileage may vary)

31

[Bill Murray impression] Skip isn’t white. Skip is clear. [/Bill Murray impression].

So, have you said anything to her yet? Is she even sensing that you are the teensiest bit peeved?

32

True. In secret I’m devastatingly handsome.

Looking for the shrimp.

Being swatted by auntie em, with the admonishment of “Not here!” following closely.

33

Heh. Oh, Maureen, my mom and I have quite the “very few secrets” relationship (at least when it comes to my secrets), so hell yeah, she knows I’m pissed.

She’s seen me pissed before.

And she’s The Mama. Honey, she ain’t afraid.

Of course, if I were deeply unhappy and crying myself to sleep every night, she might be concerned, but as it is, she’s pretty much like, “Yeah, sorry 'bout that–this is the way it’s gonna be.”

Which is what I’ve come to expect from that old bat. :wink:

At this point, I can either argue with her for the next couple of months (and lose), shut up and put up, shut up and quietly manipulate the situation through some dirty pool of my own, or walk away.

I’ll probably choose Option #3.

34

Well that just sucks. And not in a good way.

35

Eh, you get used to it. You bitch about it, of course, but you get used to it.

36

And you cook your husband more shrimp. I’m sure you accidentally left that bit off. :slight_smile:

37

SkipMagic you must be related to the future Mr. Contrary. He is also a very pink man – and a redhead to boot.
Pass the shrimp, please.
/goes back to watching this highly amusing thread

38

Skippy’s freaknesses are more subtle. Ask about Air Supply* or Carebears, if you dare.

39

Hey, you JoCo, Overland Parkish Woman! I’ve sent an e-mail your way, I think, letting you know about the DopeFest on the Plaza this July 27th. It’s in this thread, so if you’re wanting to come, just pop in the thread and let us know!

By the way, the future Mr. Contrary sounds as brilliant as I think I am. :smiley:

Hell, go a step further: ask about the Carebears singing Air Supply songs. It’s what drew auntie em to me in the first place. Or so I’ve been telling myself.

40

How are the two things different again? :smiley: