Maid of Honor, you are a cheapskate lameass!

The BBQ Pit
1

OK, I just can’t take it anymore. My very good friend is getting married, and I’m in the wedding. I love her and her fiance, so I’m going to put up with whatever we have to do to make her happy, but her maid of honor is a cheap, lame bitch. The wedding is in 3 weeks, and I have to blow of steam now lest I fucking KILL HER before then.

First, the shower. The maid of honor is supposed to plan this, traditionally. Well, time went by, went by, and no plans. The maid of honor wanted to have a dish to pass at her house… overruled by all concerned because she lives in the middle of nowhere, an hour from the me, the bride’s mother and sister, and even further from the groom’s family. So, no plans until less than a month before the wedding. Finally, the bride’s mother and I went to look at places, as did her sister. We found a place near the bride’s family.

The theme of the shower was pirates (the bride’s choice-- she’s weird but fun). The maid of honor is in another wedding that weekend, her excuse for not being able to do any planning. I went out and get the decorations. I drove an hour to go to a party supply store, spent more than the budget (which I absorbed with pleasure) to get cool shit-- a treasure chest pinata, flags, tablecloths, palm trees, the works. The bride’s sister got the cake, which was shaped like a pirate ship. Very cool.

What does the maid of honor contribute? Well, her job was to plan the games for the shower and get prizes. What does she do? Plans nothing. It was all ad lib, and you could tell. Throw a fake flower backwards over your shoulder, see if you could get it in this circle. She used a list of questions we all made for a quiz about the bride and groom and brought some paper to give out. That’s it. The prizes? Votive candles she got from her Candle Lite candle party she hosted. The shower gift? You guessed it. Candles. Classy! It was awkward as hell that there was nothing else planned.

But the most infuriating part is this-- she tried to cop all the decorations after the shower, and damn near got them all too. She has a one year old son, and this was her line: “My son’s birthday party is in two days (obviously advanced planning is not her forte), and he’s having a pirate theme. These decorations will be really great for his party!” The bride and I were going to each take a palm tree, but she took them both. She also tried to take the pinata right out of the bride’s hands, saying, “This would be so great for Ashton’s birthday party.” The bride, god love her, said, “Yeah, you should get him one. This one is mine.” As if a one year old would know a pinata from the Goodyear Blimp.

Cheapskate favor-stealing bitch! She obviously took for granted the fact that she would all the decorations for her son’s party. It’s not that I wanted to take home all the decorations, but she took ALL OF THEM, even the candy we could have shared, and ones that other guests or the bride might want, especially considering I bought them and it was the bride’s fucking shower and she might want some souvenirs. I teach middle school, and I could have taken some of that stuff for my classroom, considering I bought it all, but I would have given them all to the bride if she’d wanted them. Not an option. Normally I’d fucking tell the MOH off, but she was so brazen about it, and I didn’t want to be petty and argue at the shower and upset my friend, so here I am in the Pit, the place for petty bitching. I know her sister was similarly pissed off and stayed quiet for similar reasons.

Now, the bachelorette party is coming up. No plans yet, of course, but I’ve heard from the bride that Maid Lacking Honor wants it at her house. I’ve already mentioned she lives nowhere near anyone who will be invited. The bride wants us to get drunk and party, but how can we if we have to drive to bumfuck nowhere and back? No way I’m sleeping at her house if I have to drive to the city where the wedding is the next day, where I have to stay overnight the next night.

And what will be the theme of this party? She wants to have a sex toy party, orders off of which she will of course stand to make money. So it’s all about her again. There might be a beat down in the parking lot after the wedding. :mad:

If you’ve gotten this far, hey, thanks for listening.

2

I’ve got her sex toy.

heh.

3

I’m sure her husband would love that. He can’t possibly enjoy banging that fucking hag; he actually seems like a nice guy.

4

It doesn’t excuse her attitude or stinginess, but this may explain her lack of organization/enthusiasm.

5

May I ask why in hell she is the maid of honor?

6

She’s the bride’s best friend, apparently, though you can’t you tell?

I understand being broke, but then you say you can’t be in the wedding, right? I also understand being busy with your kids, but the bride’s sister has two kids including an infant. There is no justification for her behavior aside from her being a cheapskate lameass.

7

Ah, the nightmare bridesmaid, there’s always one. Thank goodness all my friends are married now, I don’t miss the days of nonstop taffeta. Good luck, Rubystreak.

8

The bride also apparently wanted this idiot to be her MOH, so she’s destined to be disappointed. If she wants a certain kind of party, she’ll have to provide more direction than just letting the MOH plan it.

9

Ask her to reimburse you for the decorations.

10

I confess I feel sorry for the Maid of Honor sometimes–you accept the gig because you love your friend, but then you’re on the hook for a lot of stuff–some of which you don’t even know about, or didn’t think about when you give that excited “Yes!” Like someone else said–I’m glad all my friends are married so we are through this period.

It’s true this MOH seems crass, cheap, and lame. The bride may not have made the best choice given what the role is supposed to mean. Maybe she wasn’t thinking about that–just as the MOH may not have been thinking about those roles, either.

On the other hand, maybe it’s time to relax some of the traditional expectations of who does what in weddings. Too few people grow up learning those rules, and it always seemed funny to me that so many people (some of whom don’t give a shit about etiquette at any other time of their lives) suddenly become Emily Fucking Post when it comes to weddings. It’d be a lot easier if those in the OPs shoes could cheerfully admit that bride’s-best-friend MOH is a bit of a flake; that she was picked for sentimental reasons. That she won’t enjoy planning the shower and you probably wouldn’t enjoy attending one she planned, so you take it over without expectations or resentment.

I mean, I’d still be peeved about the decorations-grab. But a lot of this could have been avoided if she’d been cut out of the shower-giving altogether–or she’d been assigned the simplest, lamest of jobs. When tradition forces you to make an irresponsible person a part of the planning, it’s bad news for everyone. Some traditions should probably be booted.

11

I haven’t been a member very long, but it seems like every pitting, no matter how just, will be turned around on the pitter and people will take the pittee’s side. I thought CrankyAsAnOldMan was going to go there at first but she ended up on the pitter’s side.

This pitting seems pretty airtight though. It will be interesting to see if anyone can find a reason to attack the OP.

12

Ruby, can’t you (with the help of the other girls) just take over the planning of the bachelorette party? That way, you all can throw a nice part for your friend, and the bitch of honor can’t ruin it.

13

That’s because the mods move most of the supportive threads into MPSIMS. Only the nasty ones stay in the Pit.

Frankly, I hate the whole “Maid of Honor” vs. “Bridesmaids” thing. It just causes hurt feelings and chaos. I dodged the whole issue by not having any of either. ALL the women invited to my wedding helped me prepare beforehand (They each picked a single wildflower out of the field and forest where we were and gave them to me with a well-wish to make my bouquet just before the ceremony started. I had the most beautiful bouquet I’ve ever seen.) and they were ALL honored maids and matrons. All the men hung out with my husband before the ceremony. It was really cool, and drama-free.

Ruby, I totally suggest you take over the bachelorette party planning. Fuck her, she’s irresponsible and wants only to please herself. Let her have the title, you’ll have the bride’s gratitude and true friendship.

14

Wow, I’ve heard of Bride-zillas, but Maid of Honor-zillas??! This chick is just plain tacky.

And you’re right, Don’tCallMeShirley, it’s inevitable that at some point in a Pit Thread someone will come to the defense of the pitee or will try to justify their actions. “Maybe she didn’t know what the MOH duties entail…” or some other such nonsense. :rolleyes:

15

A bit of a side rant, partly inspired by this thread (but not saying that this particular wedding is really an example):

Damn, these days it seems that each and every wedding I go to or hear about is a nighmare, what with crazy Bridezillas, stingy maids of dishonor, philandering “best” men, drunken fathers-in-law … in part I think because so much emphasis is put by everyone in the “perfect” ceremony, and with so much in terms of money and planning at stake, anyone screwing up, behaving selfishly, not pulling their weight (or being too obsessive) ruins it for all.

Our wedding went off pretty well, I think pecause we did not take the occasion so very seriously - more as an excuse to have a big party. We had no shower, no preliminary parties at all; we didn’t spend a lot, or ask anyone else too (because at the time, we didn’t have a lot or know people who did).

I think the whole wedding thing has gotten out of hand. Certainly a big fancy party is nice, if you can afford it and enjoy that sort of thing; but I see lots of people I know positively endangering their relationships with all the wedding planning, not enhancing them - and going into debt for the privilege. :frowning:

16

I agree - people forget that and the end of the day, they are getting “married” - not “weddinged”. The focus seems to be on the wrong thing.

17

You know what I find works well when people try to take things that don’t belong to them? Telling them “no.” No, I’m sorry, you may not have all of the decorations. No, you may not have all the candy. She’s a bitch, but you’re a doormat.

18

I couldn’t agree more. Then people wonder why so many marriages end in divorce. People spend too much time worrying about one day when they should be concentrating on the rest of their lives.

19

I always thought that if the bride had a sister, and the two were at the very least on speaking terms, the sister was sort of automatically the MOH. Same goes for the groom and his brother. Isn’t that the way it’s usually done?

If so, and considering what a cheap hag the OP’s MOH appears to be, I wonder why the bride’s sister wasn’t the MOH.

In retrospect, I guess if the bride has multiple sisters and doesn’t want to offend any of them, she could pick someone else entirely. But if someone was going to fuck up my wedding, I’d want that person to be related to me so I could make them feel like shit about it for the rest of our lives.

:smiley:

20

We really need one of those “werd” smilies.