When you get excited that your new sheets are arriving.
When the highlight of your week is the new alarm clock you just bought.
I’ve done both of these in the last year and it just depresses me to no end.
When you’re sitting in the theater watching the previews and one of the previews is the 20th anniversary release of E.T.
When you realize your
When your kids think about the 80’s like you used to think about the 60’s and then think “The 80’s weren’t so long ago, right??”
When your cholesterol level is a concern and a heart attack is a real possibility.
When fashion trends you wore the first time around are coming back again.
…for the second time.
When the young people’s music you disparaged is now mainstream.
My eyes! I started wearing reading glasses 2 years ago (at 43) and now I can’t read most anything without them. So now I’m finally getting it. Why in the hell does the writing on pill bottles and other medication have to be so tiny. Hell, I can’t read some of it even with my glasses on.
I’m getting arthritis in my knuckles. Arth-fucking-ritis at 45!
I don’t give a shit about new music at all. To me, Boston’s first album is new-age rock and roll. I’d rather listen to news on the radio anyway.
I’m cynical and I’m jaded and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Dude, you need to get with the times. The Cars. The Police. The Police Cars. Culture Club. That’s what all the hep kids are listening to today.
How about when the sports commentators mention a pro athlete being at the END or TWILIGHT of his career, and you realize the athlete is your age?!?!?!?!?!?!
Huh.
Some of us remember a new beat combo called the Beatles. (Whatever happened to them? 
)
And they don’t make them like The Who anymore. 
I like this because it makes me feel young:
I once detected some heart strain from jerking off- that would be a screwed up way for the paramdeics to find me, passed out at the computer, weiner in hand.
I’ve recently come to this realization myself. I was a bit down on myself for not keeping up with the latest bands, being somehow stuck in the 60s and 70s. I am tragically unhip. Then it dawned on me that the reason I listen to those old bands is simply because they were the best. Why should I stop listening to them just to know what the kids today are talking the hell about?
…when there are college football coaches (Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern) whom you watched play.
…when there is now a Hall of Fame enshrining the music of your rebellious youth in plate glass-encased displays and bronze busts.
Brilliant. 
Signs that you’re getting old:
[ul]
[li]Repeating the same stories to the same audience with little awareness that you’re doing that.[/li][li]The vision thing – reading glasses, computer monitor glasses, driving glasses, and most frustrating, no glasses. [/li][li]You can’t sit down or get up without a grunt.[/li][li]You become so accustomed to walking into rooms with no idea why you did so that it becomes “normal” to you.[/li][li]Mysterious aches and pains come and go with no explanation.[/li]
and the number one sign that you’re getting old …
[li]You can’t wait for retirement to kick in! [/li][/ul]
I swear I am not making this up. Last month in Bangkok, they had a “Senior Happy Day” event for folks 45 and up. They planned lots of group activities because such people “usually do not have much to do.” Quote unquote. I dunno, I always thought a 45-year-old without much to do was a bum myself. Since the group activities did not involve any of the local bar areas, I declined to participate.
There was an item in one of the newspapers here recently about a new skincare product targeted at men aged 40 and above. The company said it would be a challenge, because men this age generally no longer cared how they looked and let themselves go.
Like a Motherf**k?
WOO HOO!!!
You realize the world is being run by people no older or wiser than you are, and it scares the hell out of you.
You can no longer drink a whole six pack in an evening because you keep falling asleep after the third or fourth brew. (Probably a moot point, as I lost my taste for beer a while back…)
The mothers are now more interesting than the daughters.
Co-workers giggle when you play cassettes in your boombox at work.
You can’t text–not because you don’t grasp the concept, but because your arthritis makes it physically impossible.
The places that used to be soft are now hard, and the places that used to be hard are now soft.
And if you do manage to make it through the entire six pack you pay for it with a two day hangover.
955 days - and yes, I am counting. 
…when you can remember having been to a stereo shop and heard the incredible, wonderful sound of a $50,000 stereo system.
Young people feel that hundreds of mp3s on an iPod and $15 earbuds are the height of technology, but it’s several steps back in audio reproduction. There aren’t any places left where they can go and hear full-resolution audio the way it was intended to be heard, so they are generally unfamiliar with quality sound reproduction.