A few examples;
“No Admittamce” Means you can’t say “Ok, I did it”?
“Keep Door Closed” Ok. How do I get in?
“Reserved Parking Only” No outrageous people?
“Thank You For Not Smoking” How can they know if you smoke?
Isn’t this FUN?
Peace,
mangeorge
I always tried to take a reluctant date past a “Yield” sign.
“Soft Shoulders”. Yeah, right. Like THEY would know.
“Falling Rocks”. Can they go UP?
“Dangerous Curves Ahead”. I’d rather they be beside me!
“No left turn”. Oh yeah? Watch THIS.
“No Reentry”. I’m not even going here…
“Parking in rear”. Or here…
SouthernStyle
Wet Floor
Don’t do it! You’ll get in trouble! (trust me on this)
Those all remind me of the time we went to a Wendy’s and filled out a comment card with those types of answers.
It went something like…
Name: Roberta Pezlowskowicz (We just made something up)
Date: No thanks, I’m married.
Location: Sitting in my chair, facing the table.
Service: Yes, please. We’ve been waiting all day.
What did you order: A glass of water.
Did you receive exactly what you ordered?: No, it came in a cup.
I once stole a street sign that said “No parking in this street”.
I have to chuckle everytime I see it on my wall.
-Sam
This sign always bums me out
“Slow Children Playing”
I hate the Blind Drive signs. So does my insurance company.
StG
I saw a sign that said “All candy $1.00” and they had a lot of candy. So I thought what a deal! But that’s not what they meant.
At the airport, I saw a sign that said:
plane
pull
with an arrow pointing towards the terminals. Being in Texas, I though it might be like a tractor pulling contest.
Does “pull” mean “plane” in another language?
In Virginia, the on-ramps to interstates have signs that list what kind of vehicles are prohibited. One of them is “self-propelled machinery”.
Funny, I thought that’s what a car was.
I thought when you entered a street that had a sign that said “Blind Area”, you were supposed to drive with your eyes closed.
Also, when driving once on the apron at an airport, I saw a sign that said “Yield to Aircraft”. Duh.
The last time I drove from Dallas to Austin it took me four hours because I kept seeing signs on gas stations saying “Clean Restrooms.” I must have cleaned a dozen of the darn things.
Then there was the time I spent ten minutes in the freezer aisle of the supermarket staring at a can of frozen OJ because it said, “Concentrate.”
Yeah. Like I’M going to demand right of way with a 40 ton turbo prop.
“Stop Ahead” Any particular place?
“Flagman ahead” Let me get this one straight. You put up a sign to tell me that you’re not giving me instructions, but you will further down the road?
“Construction Zone” Ok. I’ll bite. What other reason can there be for 10,000 orange cones, 1,000 orange barrels, 100 large dirty vehicles with tires taller than my pickup, 10 men standing around leaning on shovels, and 1 asshole sitting in his air conditioned patrol car watching everyone slam on their brakes when they see his blue light?
“Bridge may ice in winter” It’s June. Why do I care?
SouthernStyle
Not a sign, but during rush hour when the subway stops, the announcer says, “Please use all available doors.” I never have enough time to use all the doors before they close.
Parking Validated.
“Yessiree, that’s is some parking your doing.”
End road work.
Yeah! That’s what I say.
On the London Underground:
“Mind…the gap”
Not a plain old “mind the gap” - the deliciously posh-spoken recording always has a slight pause in the middle, hinting at unexplored worlds of sexual tension.
At least, that’s what I’m thinking at 8am in the morning.
Thank you, mattk…I’m now snickering at my desk, muttering “Mind…the gap” to myself. Hadn’t thought about that in a LONG time…
I hate to be a "me too"er, but I also recall the “mind… the gap”. I’d forgotten all about it.
“Not an Exit” Huh? I’m in this room. There’s a door. Behind the door can only be … here! Curved space!
“Please sign in” Uh huh. Look – I’m not deaf. And even if I were I doubt that my contorting my fingers is going to mean anything at all to you. If you’re even watching. Well watch THIS finger…
And the scariest sign of them all … “MS ™ Windows”
SouthernStyle
My old SO and I lived near one of those shady massage parlors (e.g. those that always have the signs directing customers to leave their cars behind the establishment) and he always wanted to call them up and ask in a half hesitant, half pervy voice, “So, uh, how much extra is it for the ahh…‘rear parking’ service?”