Silly Juicy Fruit, gum is for mouths.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

A little while ago, i’m sitting happily, watching Medium and chewing a piece of juicy fruit gum. I coughed and as I did so, my gum fell out of my mouth. I instantly froze so I could feel where it landed. There was no tell-tale little ‘bump’ feeling. I started looking for it, not wanting to move too much so it didnt end up squished into the couch or my clothes. I looked and felt all over but couldnt find it. I got up expecting to hear it fall to the floor but, again, nothing. I’m feeling all over me, my arms, legs, front, bum, nothing. I look all over the couch, feeling with my hands, I get on my hands and knees and crawl around looking, feeling…nothing. I even started to wonder if i’d imagined that I was chewing gum but really wasnt.

I started to think I should just forget about it but I just couldnt. I know I was chewing gum. So I decided i’d take off my clothes, one at a time and feel inside and out. I took off my shirt, nothing. I took off my bra, nothing. Then as I was taking off my pants I noticed it. It was somehow crammed underneath my right boob.

How it fell from my mouth, down my shirt, into my bra and under my boob I have no idea.

Kermit

2

As a man, I salute you, piece of Juicy Fruit, and I bow to your boob-fu.

3

I fell asleep with gum in my mouth once.

Luckily it didn’t get in my hair, but it did get welded to my elbow. I kept smelling something minty around me a few hours after I woke up and thought my sense of smell was crapping out. A while later, scratching my elbow, I felt something odd and spent the next few minutes scraping goop off.

4

There’s a joke to be made here about boob-sag, but damn if I’ll be the one to make it.