Anyone ever seen any signs/notices/instructions which were funny in the sense that they could have the wrong meaning taken from them or were stupid?
I have a few:
On a Japanese road: Stop. Drive Sideways.
On a chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop this machine using your hands or genitals.
A newspaper headline: Red tape holds up new bridges.
On a pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
At a cafe: 24 hour cafe - open 9 to 5.
On Chinese Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
On peanuts: Warning - Contains nuts.
On a packet of nuts: Instructions - Open packet. Eat nuts.
On a building site: Night watchman patrols this area 24 hours a day.
Belgrade Hotel Elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
Japanese Hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
Laundry: Ladies - leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Swiss inn: Special today - No ice-cream.
Hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Hotel brochure: Unlike some resorts, the sea here comes right up to the shore.
Well, Richard Lederer certainly can. His books, such as ‘Anguished English’ and ‘Fractured English’ are full of such errors, and indeed some of the ones you cite were first published by him. check out his website.
Well, there’s an office here in Edinburgh that, when closed, bears the sign “THIS OFFICE IS ALARMED.” It always makes me think that the office is surprised or shocked somehow.
There’s also a sign on a door in a gas station back home in Houston that simply reads, “CAUTION: DOOR.” It actually makes some sense, as the door in question is in a narrow hallway and the sign is meant to warn you that it could open suddenly. However, at first glance I thought it was pretty funny.
I once saw a sign over a urinal in a Beijing restaraunt: “Please mang out after shit”. It’s haunted me to this day. Who shits in a urinal? What is manging? How does it help in this situation?
Really, I have to wonder what’s going to help after some asshat shits in a urinal.
Anyway, some of the most ridiculous signs I’ve ever seen were plastered all over the back of the Ryder truck Dr. J and I rented last weekend.
Falling out of truck could cause serious injury or death.
Driving with loading ramp extended may cause serious injury or death.
Falling off loading ramp may cause serious injury or death.
Moving overhead door may cause serious injury or death.
Do not use overhead door strap to enter or exit truck. Strap may break, causing serious injury or death.
It just went on and on in that vein, all over the damn back end. I have to wonder if we’re really so stupid that we have to be told that being hit in the head with a big metal might hurt us.
What about…
On the Bottem of a box : do not turn upside down.
On frozen TV dinner: Serving suggeation, Defrost
Car Manuel : Don not drive forward while in reverse.
