Silly Useless Vehicles

The BBQ Pit
81

caricature: “a picture, description, etc., ludicrously exaggerating the peculiarities or defects of persons or things”

source: http://www.infoplease.com/ipd/A0362740.html

But since you seem a little unclear on the concept, I’ll kick it up a notch.

What percentage of Acura MDX’s are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of BMW X5’s are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Cadillac Escalades are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Chevrolet Trailblazers are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Dodge Durangos are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Ford Explorers are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of GMC Envoys are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Honda CR-V’s are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Honda Passports are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Infiniti QX4’s are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Isuzu Rodeos are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Isuzu Troopers are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Jeep Cherokees are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Jeep Grand Cherokees are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Land Rovers are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Lincoln Navigators are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Mercedes Benz M-Class’s are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Mercury Mountaineers are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Mitsubishi Monteros are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Nissan Pathfinders are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Oldsmobile Bravadas are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Pontiac Aztecs are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Toyota 4Runners are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Toyota Sequoias are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

Oh, and by the way, you might want to check the definition of “poseur”: “a person who attempts to impress others by assuming or affecting a manner, degree of elegance, sentiment, etc., other than his or her true one.”

Source: http://www.infoplease.com/ipd/A0596526.html

Is your Honda Civic friend trying to impress anyone?

didn’t think so.

82

What percentage of Acura MDX’s are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of BMW X5’s are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Cadillac Escalades are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Chevrolet Trailblazers are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Dodge Durangos are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Ford Explorers are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of GMC Envoys are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Honda CR-V’s are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Honda Passports are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Infiniti QX4’s are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Isuzu Rodeos are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Isuzu Troopers are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Jeep Cherokees are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Jeep Grand Cherokees are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Land Rovers are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Lincoln Navigators are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Mercedes Benz M-Class’s are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Mercury Mountaineers are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Mitsubishi Monteros are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Nissan Pathfinders are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Oldsmobile Bravadas are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Pontiac Aztecs are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Toyota 4Runners are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

What percentage of Toyota Sequoias are taken to “the neighborhood off-roading track”?

83

100% of my Jeep Cherokees are taken to “the neighbourhood off-roading track”.

84

Less than 1%.

Big deal.

Fodder John, ever been camping? How about fishing? Ever tow the old boat out and reel in some fish?

Well, maybe you like motocycles, our “four runners”? Got a favorite trail? Hmmm…no?

Well, maybe you have three sons that play ice hockey? Hmmm…no?

Do you like snow mobiles? Do you have any interest in home projects? Maybe on the weekends you like fixing up the ol’ house for the wife and kids? Maybe you’d like to build your daughter a tree house?

Ever coached a team…maybe baseball…you know…haul some of the team and equipment around?

No? Hmmm…you must be doing something with your time?

Maybe you like to do your own landscaping? No? Anything?

Well, from where I sit, I see these vehicles being run through the mill most of the time.

Let’s see, I have an SUV, and this weekend I’ll be towing my boat to the marina for the upcoming season. Lots of stuff to bring along too.

My neighbor has an SUV, and he has a 14’ boat and some gear he is hitching up this week for some fishing and hunting.

The lady in the office next to me is taking her Jeep up to Northern Pennsylvania for a volleyball tournament. She’ll be dragging herslf, some kids, gear, food and the mascot up for the weekend.

Let’s see…the snobby lady down the block with the gold/champagne colored Tahoe is going to an art festival this week. She’ll drop 2,500 bucks of her hubbies money on big paintings, and she’ll haul them home in her SUV.

Next week, my brother-in-law and I are doing a side job for someone. Yeah, we’re putting in a sprinkler system at a friends house. He’s picking up half the supplies with his truck, and I’ll be hauling the tools there. Gotta rent one of them diggers for the pipe too.

My cousin works in an office all day, but on the weekends he’s been doing some electrical work. His Blazer is a mess he’s got so much stuff shoved in there.

My buddy Mike, he has four kids, but he didn’t want a minivan because they are underpowered somewhat. When he loads up the Durango with the whole clan, roof carrier, pet and all, he can still merge his family onto the road safeley. I hope he has room for his ice chest, because we need it at the shore to go fishing this year… I might be able to squeeze it in…

This country is buzzing with activity…
Fodder John…get a life. The rest of the world has one…you are ignorant to it to the point that you can’t see it when it is pointed out to you. :slight_smile:

85

Perhaps we’re getting to the root of the problem, here. fatherjohn seems to be of the opinion that all SUVs are created to go off-roading. Which is not the case.

See, the name of the transport in question is Sport/UTILITY Vehicle. That’s where the acronym “SUV” comes from. The “sport” part of the name would apply to off-roading, hunting transportation, that sort of thing. If this class of vehicles were simply called “SVs,” then I think you’d have a definite point, fatherjohn. (It also begs the question why you’re not complaining about “sports cars,” which as far as I know aren’t used for any sports at all. But I digress.)

Ah, but that would be ignoring one-half of the official designation for these vehicles. See, the “utility” part of the name can mean pretty much what the owner wants it to mean. Since you’re fond of definitions, fatherjohn, let me throw one at you, again from Webster’s New World College Dictionary:

So, if a person finds this type of vehicle useful for driving to the market, or ferrying children, or transporting equipment, or carrying tools, or basically anything else that suits their purpose, then they are using the vehicle in the way it was intended to be used.

This explanation, of course, completely ignores any rationale for purchasing said vehicle based on its safety qualifications; as you know, SUVs are among the safest vehicles available today for passengers and drivers.

Which means, once again, you’ve added absolutely nothing to this thread to defend your position.

Look, you wanna complain about the SUV driver that cut you off in traffic, or the SUV driver that blocked your vision at an intersection, go for it. Hell, I’ll chime in. But to complain about an entire class of vehicles with such vitriol is ignorant in the extreme – particularly when you’ve been given multiple reasons why people purchase said vehicles.

86

"Does an SUV really suit your needs?

There are a few legitimate reasons to buy an SUV, although in most cases a car, wagon or minivan would better suit the needs of the owner. One should consider an SUV if:

  1. They off-road regularly (as in more than once a year). Gravel roads don’t count, cars can handle those just fine.

  2. They have a heavy trailer to tow (as in more than 3000 lbs.).

Otherwise, there is nothing that an SUV does that can’t be done better with a car, wagon or minivan."

Source: http://poseur.4x4.org/reasons1.html

“Though few will admit it, many poseurs think that their SUV gives them a tough, independent image instead of the ‘soccer mom’ or ‘married man’ image of a minivan or wagon. While this might have been true a few years ago before this trend started, now an SUV screams “YUPPIE SUBURBAN FAMILY” just as much, if not more than a minivan or wagon. Admit who you are, and buy the vehicle best suited for your needs and not based on some silly trend.”

Source: http://poseur.4x4.org/reasons1.html

87

Wrong. Dead wrong. What about comfort? As I’ve said before, a larger person like myself is far more comfortable in an Expedition than in, say, a Mustang or a Metro.

I’ve already debunked your point before you made it, Ol’ John. You’re getting slow in your old age.

88

Do you own or operate that poseur site, fatherjohn? I can think of no other reason you keep referring to it. You do know that type of solicitation is frowned upon here, right?

Surely you see the inherent fallacy in holding up a satirical, opinion-based Web site as some sort of “proof” for your position. That would be like saying your racist beliefs are valid, and pointing to an applicable portion of a KKK site to prove it. (Not saying you’re racist – although that “riceboy” crap comes pretty darn close – just pointing out a similarity in the tactics.)

Unfortunately for your position, you nor anybody else can define what “utility” means for SUV owners. If somebody finds an SUV useful for carrying kids, equipment, tools, or whatever, then they’re using the vehicle in the way it’s supposed to be used.

And, again, there’s the safety factor. Which you keep ignoring.

Having an opinion about SUVs is fine and dandy. From what I’ve seen, your opinion is based on faulty data and assumptions. But we’ve already hashed and re-hashed this stuff, and obviously nobody is gonna change their mind. Why do you feel the need to continue this … whatever-it-is? And more importantly, why did you resurrect the other thread (which had been dead for a month) with nothing more than a smart-ass remark?

89
90

Damn, hit the enter key…

Anyway…

Funny…FatherJohn says that people avoid driving minivans because they are the soccer mom vehicles, and would make men seem less macho. Man opts for SUV. Okay, then why do women opt for them too? You’re arguement doesn’t apply to women, based on you’re explanation… yet you’ve cited examples of women driving them. You must leave women out of the examples now. Okay, we’ve eliminated half the population right there.

Second, FatherJohn, you claim a minivan or car can do anything except the true off roading and towing? I claim that minivans are somewhat underpowered for loading-up six people and a bunch of gear. Most minivans don’t have 4wd. More people tow things than you think.

Now, FatherJohn, you claim that SUVs are replacing minivans as the suburban vehicle…the Yuppie Suburban Vehicle…I mean you said they SCREAM it. This helps contradicts one of your points again

If they SCREAM (your word) Yuppie Suburban Family, why would guys wanting to be macho drive them?

Also, you claim that SUVs can do more than cars or minivans, but again, this contradicts your OP, which clearly states the “…SUVs suck…”

You have defeated many of your own arguements.

91

Philster, why do you keep quoting without adding anything?

92

Ah. Never mind, then.

93

"The SUV Safety Myth

Most people think that the hefty weight and sheer mass of SUVs benefits their safety. This is a total myth. My point is not that SUVs are so unsafe that they should be banned, but that safety is not a reason in favor of buying an SUV. SUVs are not as safe as cars for the following reasons . . . ."

Source: http://poseur.4x4.org/reasons2.html#Safe

94

Again with the quotes from the SUV hate site. At the NHTSA web site, my Yukon rated pretty good on thier crash tests. Course its not one of the dinky little SUV’s your site listed, but then again, these people, like you, need more job responsibilities to keep them out of trouble. But you know what? I bought an SUV because I wanted an SUV.
[ul]
[li]They’re more comfortable for people of my size[/li][li]I like the way it drives and handles[/li][li]It has room to carry all the crap I want to carry[/li][li]I like the way it looks.[/li][/ul]
I work hard for a living, and I can spend my money on any vehicle that I want to spend my money on. And you know what? You can’t stop me. I’m glad your intimidated by SUV’s. I get an even bigger kick out of driving my Yukon now that I know that it irritates you so much. I only wish now that I could get an even bigger one. What’s the matter, you lose your S.O. to someone who could afford an SUV, while your were stuck with whatever pathetic piece of crap you drive? Maybe you just sit up nights and dream of being able to own one yourself, in the dark, thinking of that guy you saw on the road today driving what you really want, and then you roll over and cry yourself to sleep. GET OVER IT That deasert cart is not coming to your table. be happy with your Yugo, and get on with your life.

95

fatherjohn, please stop linking to the “poseur” site. If you’re going to back up your claims (which is important even when you’re in an arguement instead of a debate) back them up with claims from a reputable site! By continually referring to a site that admits it is satire, you just come off looking like a fool.

Well, you could always get a UNIMOG!

96

Well, I would need a raise to get one, but publishers clearing house is still sending me stuff. Maybe if I win then I’ll get one just to drive around his 'hood

97

Try this, Ol’ John. Get an aluminum can and a steel can. Try to crush the aluminum can in your bare hand. Now try to crush the steel can in your bare hand.

98

“According to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS), ‘In single vehicle crashes, heavy vehicles with stiff frames (most SUVs) might actually do more to harm the vehicle’s occupants because there is little give, or energy absorption engineering, to dissipate the force of running into an immovable object.’”

Source: http://poseur.4x4.org/reasons2.html#Safe

99

Spoken like a true Silly Useless Vehicle ™ owner.

:putz!

100

fatherjohns suck.

People who use the name fatherjohn on MBs are (frequently) illogical and poor spellers who want to annoy other posters.

For goodness’ sake, there are whole threads devoted to making fun of this ridiculous fool!

Can’t you learn to knit or collect stamps or something?

There. And it must be true, because it uses fatherjohn’s formula!